2009: A Look Back

by     Posted 4 years, 361 days ago

The Unborn, I Love You Man, The Hangover and Zombieland slice.jpg

2009 was another big year for movies thanks to, in varying degrees, the recession, 3D ticket prices and Taylor Lautner’s abs. For funsies we have compiled a fairly trivial movie calendar for the year that was. Here you will find all the big events that, for whatever reason, may not have gotten a lot of media coverage.  Hit the jump to begin reminiscing about the past 12 months:

January

9- David S. Goyer does his best to stop Odette the_unborn_movie_image_odette_yustman1.jpgYustman from ever getting another leading role in a film. (The Unborn)

16- Mall cops lose what little public respect they had. (Paul Blart:  Mall Cop)

23- Brendan Fraser ruins an otherwise perfectly good British film. (Inkheart)

30- Liam Neeson gains 20,000 cool points. (Taken)

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Februarypink_panther_image_2.jpg

6- Steve Martin makes a big mistake. (The Pink Panther 2)

13- The rules of scary movies are upheld. (Friday the 13th)

20- Madea goes to jail. Finally. (Madea Goes to Jail)

27- Video game enthusiasts continue to wait for a good film adaptation. (Street Fighter:  The Legend of Chun Li)

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March

6- The Rorschach vs. Batman debate is i_love_you_man_movie_image_paul_rudd_and_jason_segel__1_.jpgrekindled. (Watchmen)

13- Dwayne Johnson loses 10,000 cool points. (Race to Witch Mountain)

20- Much to the chagrin of linguists, “Man-date” and “Bromance” officially enter the lexicon. (I Love You, Man)

27- A debate concerning unlawful imprisonment does not occur. (Monsters vs. Aliens)

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April

3- Sharp increase in speeding tickets is dragonball_movie_image_blu-ray_01.jpgobserved. (Fast and Furious)

10- Goku is revealed to be a white Canadian. (Dragonball)

17- Zac Efron begins to establish a career. Just like the Mayans predicted. (17 Again)

24- Looking for critical acclaim, Jamie Foxx is either 4 months late or 7 months early, depending on your perspective. (The Soloist)

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May

1- “Wolverine sucks” becomes a trending topic on angels_and_demons_movie_image_tom_hanks.jpgTwitter.

8- “Jessica Biel” is the most searched phrase on Google. (Powder Blue)

15- Tom Hanks cashes a paycheck. (Angels and Demons)

21- Christian Bale stars in a 2.5 hour PSA on the dangers of smoking. (Terminator:  Salvation)

22- Men across start to wonder why the star of Steven Soderbergh’s latest film looks so familiar. (The Girlfriend Experience)

29- Loan officers decide to start granting extensions. (Drag Me To Hell)

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June

the_hangover_movie_image_bradley_cooper__ed_helms__zach_galifianakis__1_.jpg5- Bradley Cooper has a very good day. (The Hangover)

12- Eddie Murphy and Denzel Washington both wish it were 1987 again. (Imagine That/Taking of Pelham 123)

19- Ryan Reynolds stars in a break-out role. Again. (The Proposal)

24- Robot-human race relations take a step backwards. (Transformers:  Revenge of the Fallen)

26- The new Jack Donaghy movie tanks. Exit polls show it is way too melodramatic. (My Sister’s Keeper)

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July

michael_gambon_as_albus_dumbledore_harry_potter_and_the_half_blood_prince_movie_image_s.jpg1- Bruce Wayne proves that time travel is possible. (Public Enemies)

10- Hayden Panetierre reconsiders leaving Heroes. (I Love You, Beth Cooper)

15- Dumbledore dies. Two people are shocked. They are my parents. (Harry Potter and the Half-blood Prince)

24- Not realizing he has become a movie star, Zach Galifinakis teams up with talking hamsters. (G-Force)

31- Judd Apatow misses a chance to level-up. (Funny People)

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inglorious_basterds_movie_image_brad_pitt.jpgAugust

7- In the words of Linda Richman, Meryl Streep is “butter.” (Julie/Julia)

14- A debate concerning unlawful imprisonment does occur. (District 9)

21- Brad Pitt gets his scalps. (Inglorious Basterds)

28- Halloween arrives two months early. (Halloween II)

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SeptemberJennifers Body movie image Megan Fox TIFF (1).jpg

4- Bradley Cooper has a very bad day. (All About Steve)

9- Fanboys are reminded that, sometimes, too much anticipation can be a bad thing. (9)

11- TNT considers buying a Tyler Perry drama to complement the comedies on TBS. (I Can do Bad All by Myself)

18- Megan Fox gets Strike Two. (Jennifer’s Body)

25- Young couples are given a new reason to set up night-vision in their bedrooms. (Paranormal Activity)

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October

Zombieland movie image Woody Harrelson.jpg2- Woody Harrelson releases a home movie. (Zombieland)

9- Fanboys regret vowing to see every Kristin Bell that is released. (Couples Retreat)

16- Hipsters stop listening to ironically named obscure bands and go to the movies. (Where the Wild Things Are)

23- Somewhere, a young child sees Antichrist. This is how Uwe Bolls are made.

28- Best not to speak ill of the dead. (This is It)

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November

The Twilight Saga New Moon movie image Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson (3).jpg6- Laura Mulvey begins work on a special, goats-themed edition of her collected works. (The Men Who Stare at Goats)

13- The world ends three years earlier than anticipated. (2012)

20- There is a disturbance in the Force. (The Twilight Saga:  New Moon)

25- The bad economy is put into perspective. (The Road)

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December

Invictus_movie_image_matt_damon_and_morgan_freeman_1.jpg4- People start treating Tobey Maguire better. (Invictus)

11- Morgan Freeman describes his next role, portraying China’s Chairman Mao, as a “unique challenge.” (Invictus)

18- The Force moves back into alignment. (Avatar)

25- Steve Martin redeems himself. (It’s Complicated)




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  • TGW

    Not attacking, just noticed. I think you meant. December: 4-People start treating Tobey Maguire better (BROTHERS). You put (INVICTUS) just pointing it out. Lol. I like this list though.

  • TGW

    Not attacking, just noticed. I think you meant. December: 4-People start treating Tobey Maguire better (BROTHERS). You put (INVICTUS) just pointing it out. Lol. I like this list though.

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