I love it when I hear things like “The last season of ’24’ was really awful!” because it leaves me asking, “How could you tell?” “24” is one of the worst shows on television. It’s like tuning in to a 24-hour Steven Seagal movie with a slightly better lead actor. The only people who I think like “24” are hardcore neo-conservatives having their weekly beating-off time while they watch Keifer Sutherland torture someone.
Maybe during seasons three and four, the show was in a “it’s-so-bad-it’s-good” phase but when I hear folks acclaim the fifth season as some kind of genius masterpiece, I just think of Jack Bauer pulling a bank manager out of bed so he can open a vault and then get murdered in a hail of gunfire in the bank’s parking lot. Our hero, Mr. Bauer, doesn’t bat an eye that he got some hapless innocent killed. Greater good, motherfucker!
But if you are still a fan of the show, I’m sure you’re salivating for some fresh material since “24” was kicked back a full year due to the writer’s strike. Well no worries because I got a nice tall glass of Stupid for ya with the trailer for the upcoming “24” made-for-TV movie, “24: Exile”. It features the brilliant exchange between the new president and some adviser:
Adviser: Something urgent has come up. Our embassy in
President: How imminent?
That’s how time is measured in The White House when there’s a security threat: “Very.” Other acceptable responses are “So-so”, “Crazy-imminent”, and “Meh.” The story apparently revolves around Bauer saving the lives of child soldiers. It’s all topical and shit. But don’t worry. There’s some might good torturin’ in there too. “24: Exile” will air on Fox on November 23, 2008. The film serves as a prequel to the seventh season, which premiers in January 2009.
Check out the trailer below: