Dan Milano

PAUL BLART Director Steve Carr Creates a SHORT CIRCUIT

by Matt Goldberg    Posted: October 26th, 2009 at 10:53 pm

While I’m nostalgic for the “Short Circuit” movies, that nostalgia doesn’t extend to getting bent out of shape over a remake of “Short Circuit” nor can my outrage be summoned by the news that “Paul Blart: Mall Cop” helmer Steve Carr will direct the film.  Variety reports that the Carr will shoot the film based on Dan Milano’s script which brings Johnny 5 into the 21^st century meaning he’ll probably still resemble Johnny 5 but there will be loads of unnecessary CG enhancements and “upgrades” to Johnny’s arsenal.  However, I’ll retract that statement if one of those upgrades is a detachable Steve Guttenberg.

Here’s how Variety describes the plot of the remake: “Built by the military to be a highly sophisticated weapon, Johnny 5 develops a conscience and personality after being hit by lightning. He befriends a lonely boy and his fractured family.”  Wow.  That sounds like a great movie.

ROBOT CHICKEN Writer Programs SHORT CIRCUIT

by Matt Goldberg    Posted: June 3rd, 2009 at 9:03 pm

The “Short Circuit” movies are nostalgia pieces I’ll have to go back and revisit one day and that day will most likely come as the remake comes closer to hitting theatres.  For now, Dimension just signed Dan Milano to write that remake.  Cue “Remakes, why, bemoan, accept, rinse, repeat.”

But wait!  Variety reports that this Dan Milano hails from the brilliance of Adult Swim’s “Robot Chicken”.  Yes, apparently the producers are looking for a more subversive take as they bring Johnny 5 into the 21st century.  But there’s a limit, dammit!  Producer David Foster says they’re keeping the look of Johnny 5′s despite his resemblance to WALL-E.  “We think of ‘WALL-E’ as an extended trailer for our film, because it’s the same face,” says Foster.  Yep, that’s what Pixar intended, alright.

Back to Milano, I have faith that he’ll give the film the dark sense of humor it needs to prove its existence and understands that “subversive” doesn’t mean “more fart jokes”.  That being said, I wouldn’t bet on a scene where Johnny 5 falls in love with a Fleshlight (does that count as a robot?  Does it have batteries?  Can you accidentally one?).

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