“Devil’s Night” was a big winner, so it’s not a surprise that “Room Service” feels like a bit of a comedown. It’s a mixed bag and the storylines don’t pair particularly well, but there are some impressive set pieces and intriguing takeaways.
The episode opens on Alex back at work at the hospital after her life-changing session with The Countess. She’s clearly a bit off and her temperature proves it, an icy 75.5 degrees. After composing herself as best she can, she goes to check on a patient, Max (Anton Lee Starkman), the young boy she was treating in earlier episodes. He’s taken a turn for the worse, but Alex assures his mother that she won’t give up on him and she most certainly does not. After indulging in a handful of blood bags herself, Alex draws some of her own freshly minted vampire blood and pumps it into little Max.
The decision does save his life, but, as one might expect, comes with some serious consequences. Shortly after being discharged from the hospital, we find Max sucking his parents dry before hopping on the bus to school. It doesn’t take long for Max to convince Madeline (Ava Acres) to drink some blood and soon thereafter, he transforms his entire class, which then proceeds to turn their middle school into a horrific bloodbath.
Have you seen Cooties? It’s basically that but exponentially more bloody, violent and downright vicious, which raises a number of questions regarding Max’s condition. Drinking The Countess’ blood certainly didn’t turn Alex into a cold-blooded killer. Perhaps Max was a little psychopath before he got sick, but it seems much more likely that he’s got a different strain of the virus, perhaps due to the measles. Whether that’s the case or not, the public is in big trouble because Max and his army of tween vampires saunter out of school, start peddling the same BS story and head home with their parents. Perhaps there’s a whole town full of vampire children in The Countess’ future?
However, at this point, The Countess doesn’t seem aware of what happened, and neither does Alex. Instead, she’s spending quality time with Holden. The Countess demands that Alex serve as a governess to the vampire children and, in return, she can spend eternity with her son.
Meanwhile, Donovan’s hellbent on getting revenge, so he attempts to team up with Ramona Royale to take down The Countess. Even though Iris is in the middle of a nasty transition, Ramona’s intrigued by Donovan’s plan to use his “invisible” mother to get close to The Countess so back to the Cortez Iris goes. Thankfully when she arrives, Liz Taylor is there to greet her and give her a drink from The Countess’ special stash until she’s ready to find some fresh, warm blood herself.
Lucky for her, that’s right about when an obnoxious hipster couple checks in. After verbally abusing Iris and demanding pâté and grilled lettuce, Liz Taylor helps Iris get a little payback by dishing out some cat food and inspiring Iris with her own experience of learning to love herself. Back in 1984, Liz Taylor was Nick Pryor, a husband and father living in Topeka, Kansas. During a business trip, Nick opted to spend the night alone in his room at the Cortez so that he could be himself and throw on some heels and a dress. However, The Countess is in on his little secret and encourages him to be who he is and strut down the hallway as Liz Taylor. His co-workers catch him in the act, but The Countess steps in, slashes their throats, hires Liz Taylor and she’s been at the hotel ever since. After the pep talk, Iris serves the hipsters their “pâté,” stabs them repeatedly and feeds.
Liz Taylor is quickly becoming one of the warmest, most likable characters on the show and she makes quite the pair with Iris, but did we really need that whole bit with Donovan and Ramona? Yes, it will likely come into play in future episodes but when looking at “Room Service” alone, their plan didn’t serve much of a purpose. It was Liz Taylor who inspired Iris.
And lastly we’ve got John who’s still moping around, talking about the Ten Commandments Killer that we still don’t care about. Apparently he spilled the beans about his dinner with Dahmer, Gacy and the rest of the deceased serial killers so now his superior is firing him because he thinks he’s crazy. Some time later, back at the Cortez, John wakes up shocked to find Sally in bed with him. But apparently it’s a case of selective memory because a flashback of sorts reveals that he was 100% committed to having some sexy time together earlier in the evening.
Wes Bentley started the season strong, serving as a powerful anchor for this crazy show, but his storyline has gone completely off the rails, making it impossible to figure out where he’s heading. He just got the ax at work, so what does that mean for his investigation? What’s his deal with Sally? She mentioned something about destiny, so should we take that literally? Does Mr. March still want to make John part of his killers club? And then there’s also Alex. Now that she’s a vampire nanny, there’s no doubt they’ll run into each other soon enough. Some of this does have potential, but it’s extremely problematic that John’s arc has absolutely no focus.
Episode Rating: ★★★
Odds and Ends:
- “We were wondering if you had any special rates for like, influencers.”
- “Bitches want pate? Pate they shall have!” – Liz Taylor
- “You see everything when the world doesn’t see you.” – Liz Taylor
- “There’s nothing like whispering a secret aloud, if only to yourself.” – Liz Taylor