Our daily series where Allison Keene watches the Indiana Jones movies for the first time. Read her intro/explanation here, and here’s her reviews of Raiders of the Lost Ark and Temple of Doom)

Praise be to the sequel gods for The Last Crusade, which did right by the franchise by stabilizing things from the shaky ground of Temple of Doom.  After I had some time to digest that later film I still think it’s the odd man out in the franchise (so far).  It’s a B-movie from front to back, and while that’s not a bad thing on its own, it just doesn’t fit in with the rest of the Indiana movies.  For Last Crusade, Steven Spielberg wisely returned things to their Lost Ark roots: Nazis, Biblical artifacts, and a new PG-13 rating.  After what I had seen under the PG banner in the last two films, I was practically expecting a two hour orgy of sex and death.  Instead, I got a really funny and engaging movie.  Whodda thunk?  Hit the jump for why this was definitely the best of the franchise.

After last week’s cryptic offering, Mad Men returned this week with a very straightforward episode and a straightforward title.  “The Better Half” was all about relationships, with a side note about choice, moving on, and recapturing the past.  Not all of the relationships were romantic, though — Pete considers cheating on SCDPCGC (what a garbled mess) at Harry’s suggestion and at Duck’s (Duck!) prompting, while Peggy got caught in the middle of Don and Ted’s power struggle.  Like Megan says to Don to close the episode, something has to change.  But for most of the characters this week, the change has already come.  Hit the jump for more, and why “margarine is indestructible!”

Our daily series where Allison Keene watches the Indiana Jones movies for the first time. Read her intro/explanation here, and here’s her review of Raiders of the Lost Ark.)

On the momentum from Raiders of the Lost Ark, I got my popcorn ready for another rough and tumble installment of maybe the raciest PG movie series ever. But Temple of Doom left me and my popcorn cold.  It may be the most unnecessary prequel-sequel I’ve ever seen.  It didn’t add anything to the Lost Ark storyline.  It actually didn’t incorporate any elements of the original besides the fact that Indiana Jones is Indiana Jones.  The museum, the Ravenwoods, the class he never teaches … not even mentioned.  Instead we get dropped in Shanghai and confoundingly dazzled by a musical number before a John Woo film breaks out.  What?

Temple of Doom was violent, but not as much as Raiders of the Lost Ark, which was more specifically gruesome.  Still, death by crushing machine, alligator, burning pit of lava, etc, is pretty bad, but them’s the breaks when you are dealing with Indy.  Hit the jump for why I don’t think I’ll be setting India as a vacation destination any time soon.

First of all, what was the MPAA like in the past?  This movie has a PG rating?  As I heard someone say recently, “PG in the 80s translates to a light R now.”  Nazi faces melt off, a man gets cut into pieces by a propeller blade, there are innumerable corpses and there’s a foul-mouthed broad smoking and drinking … if I was 10 years old I would be losing my mind right now (with excitement).  Actually, my current self was pretty excited, too.  Raiders of the Lost Ark caught me immediately with a classic, old Hollywood shot of Our Hero Indy (Harrison Ford) emerging from the shadows.  The music, the shot — everything was a classic set up of “this is the good guy, and he’s going to save the day.”  What’s not to like?  Then there are three corpses in the first ten minutes.  Bring me some more popcorn.  This just got real.  Hit the jump for why I love snake barbecue. 

So here it has happened again, another strange gap in my movie knowledge has been uncovered: I’ve never seen any of the Indiana Jones movies.  Like with Star Wars, I’m not sure I have any explanation beyond that my parents aren’t that into movies, and I was busy watching a lot of TV.  And on the whole, based on my straw poll research, in my day [reaches for cane] girls weren’t really steered towards those kinds of movies; at least, before they became such huge hits.  In any case, I remedied some of this cinematic gap starting in high school, and ended up minoring in film in college.  What you may not know about many film programs though is that they tend to end their discussion of cinema around 1968 (it took so long to get to talkies in my semesters of film history that when Al Jolson spoke actual words in The Jazz Singer we clapped and wept).

In summation: what they don’t teach you, usually, in film history is about Indiana Jones.  What’s a girl to do?  I’m always looking to learn, so better late than never, right?  Hit the jump for what I already know about the films (pretty much zilch) and what I hope to accomplish with this series.

After last week’s incredible, incredible presentation, Hannibal turned more towards a procedural this week with a regular Case of the Week.  As I’ve said in the past, the show is at its best when it doesn’t have to shoehorn these stories in (like the one about the man who saw heads on fire), because it distracts from the excellence of the rest of the series and what we are most interested in.  Still, the point of the totem pole of bodies is, as has been the case all season, to send Will further and further down the rabbit hole of his own mind, perpetuating a kind of self abuse by forcing himself into the minds of these killers when his own mind isn’t strong enough to handle it.  Hit the jump for more on on why “this is my legacy.”

May 22nd marks the 79th anniversary of the death of notorious outlaw couple Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow [Correction: It's actually today, May 23rd], and as such, History is releasing a few photos from their upcoming miniseries, Bonnie & Clyde, which will be simulcast on History, Lifetime and A&E later this year.  The miniseries has been in production for years, with an incredible amount of starts and stops.  History finally settled on a winning combination of Emile Hirsch (Into the Wild) and ethereal beauty Holliday Grainger (The Borgias) to play the infamous couple, who were iconically portrayed in the 1967 film by Faye Dunaway and Warren Beaty.  Hit the jump for the images and more. 

Bates Motel gave us an interesting and necessary finale to a great season of a (surprisingly?) great show.  Though Bates has unfortunately been largely forgotten by most people in the deluge of great TV on at the moment, it’s uncrowded Monday night spot at least gave it the ratings to thankfully warrant a second season.  The show has been a surprise and delight in the way it has woven its story in an open, intricate and twisty way, along with the quality of its cast (particularly, of course, Vera Farmiga), as well as its ability to create some compelling new characters (Dylan and Emma) as well as fascinating new situations (the secrets of White Pine Bay).  Bates Motel has always had hints that will lead up to the film on which it was based, but it saved the biggest nod until the last scene in this finale, and rightfully so.  Hit the jump for why “not in my town, you piece of shit!”

Mad Men creator Matthew Weiner doesn’t like TV critics, and while most show runners probably have the same perspective, I don’t know why Weiner in particular has such a bee in his bonnet.  Mad Men does get criticized and unravelled, and has for the last seven years, but it’s with genuine love and a desire to understand a complicated show.  TV criticism is often, to me at least (and I’m biased, of course), a great form of flattery: if your show is worth talking about and dissecting, it’s because it’s a great show.  That doesn’t mean it’s infallible, though.  But back to my original point, I’m pretty sure that “The Crash” was created just to get TV critics weeping softly at having to review this episode so quickly, because it was so deep and layered.  On the other hand, maybe it was created just to mess with all of us.  Hit the jump to see which.

Game of Thrones is juggling a lot of stories, as it always has, but this year it feels different because for the first time I think that viewers are really clearly feeling the stakes.  We know the major characters, we know the major trajectory.  There are zombies to the north and dragons to the east, and a lot of political intrigue in between.  What’s been nice about this season too is that we’ve gotten lots of great character moments, even in the midst of so many stories.  The storytelling has often been fractured though, but what “Second Sons” did a great job with was actually giving us time to pause and really embrace the plots and characters this week — no Jon, no Robb, no Bran, no Jaime and Brienne and no Theon meant lots of time to spend with the others, especially because so many of them for once shared the same screen.  Hit the jump for more on why your brother is now your father-in-law (it is known).

Another excellent episode of Hannibal, which continues to be so gorgeously and hauntingly shot.  From Will outside of his house in the snow, gazing across the dormant winter landscape, to Tobias in his violin shop with its rich wood and old world feel.  I was actually in a violin shop like that recently, and the show captured exactly the feeling of being surrounded by so many beautiful instruments, hand crafted with such expertise and beauty.  Though Hannibal‘s violence is much, much more overt than two other recent, excellent series, Top of the Lake and Rectify, they share an intensity and immersive storytelling that wraps up the darkest of horrors in the most stunningly rendered visual blanket.  How could such terrors occur in a place that’s full of such beauty and richness?  Hit the jump for more on why “life is like a musical performance. We are finite events, unique arrangements.”

Now that anchor series Gossip Girl and 90210 are off the schedule, the CW is reshuffling almost everything to give a push to new series (like putting Reign – a drama about Mary, Queen of Scots as a young woman in France — after veteran hit The Vampire Diaries).  Beauty and Beast, which had occupied that coveted post-Vampire Diaries spot before, has been moved to Mondays, and will air after new episodes of Hart of Dixie.  The changes also pair shows tonally, like new sci-fi series The Tormorrow People, which will premiere after the well-received Arrow (still on Wednesdays), and Vampire Diaries spin-off The Originals, which will air on Tuesdays with the shifted Supernatural.

Though the CW’s numbers can’t compete with the Big Four, the network knows its audience well, and employs social media better than most to promote its series.  Still, it could use a watershed must-see hit to really put it on firm ground.  For details on the new schedule, hit the jump. 

Unlike its broadcasting cohorts, CBS doesn’t typically use its upfronts as a time to frantically throw the everything and the kitchen sink out there in the hopes one sticks.  CBS knows its audience, and it’s steadily successful because of it.  What is so interesting with this year’s upfronts then is that they actually did shake things up a little: they didn’t pick up another NCIS spinoff, and they overlooked Beverly Hills Cops.

Instead, CBS is adding two single-camera comedies (The Crazy Ones with Robin Williams, and We Are Men with Kal Penn) and a limited series run of Hostages, a Jerry Bruckheimer production.  Though most of the CBS schedule will look familiar (crime shows, canned laughter comedy), these new additions add a level of interest to CBS’s schedule not usually seen.  Hit the jump for the schedule details.

“Underwater” was an interesting but fragmented penultimate episode for Bates Motel‘s first season, especially after that shocker last week.  This may have been my least favorite episode of the season, because though it set up a final showdown really well, I don’t feel all that invested with the Abernathy situation yet.  We know he’s an uber villain who was Shelby and Keith Summers boss, but his vague threats to Norma seemed to reflect more of her own craziness than his.  Norman hardly had anything to do this week, and Bradley continues to successfully manipulate everyone in town.  Hit the jump for why crazy people keep gravitating towards Norma (hint: she’s crazy!)

In the flurry of chaotic renewal and cancellation news, Fox has released its new primetime schedule that includes seven new series among its many renewals (including five nights of Gordon Ramsay! … Almost).  The broadcast network is premiering J.J. Abrams’s sci-fi police drama Almost Human on Monday nights in late fall, along with with Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci’s fantasy series Sleepy Hollow in the second time slot in early fall (with encores on Friday nights) before The Following returns (why oh why).  Tuesday remains a comedy night, with the addition of Dads and the Andy Samberg comedy Brooklyn Nine-Nine.  Hit the jump for the full new line-up and schedule, and look for images and videos from the new series coming later today.