Welcome back to The Collider Pop Culture Review, in which Collider’s weekend editor Vinnie Mancuso wakes up only slightly hungover on a Saturday to rate the week’s biggest stories in film and television on a scale from 1 to 10. (1 is soul-crushingly bad, 10 is mind-blowingly incredible.) This week: Avengers 4 is reportedly going flashing back to the past, Disney is eyeing a Pirates of the Caribbean reboot from the Deadpool writing duo, Gotham's Bane looks like a particularly angry circuit breaker, and much more.
'Avengers 4' to Include Flashbacks
Rating: 7, or "BARF? Not in here, mister"
*If you really, really don't want to know any specifics about Avengers 4, make like Thor and get the Hel out of there*
Up there with BASE jumping, Alaskan ice fishing, and signing a multi-movie deal in the DCEU, one of the most dangerous things a human being can do in these modern times is dare to bespoil the plottings of an upcoming Marvel movie. So kudos to actor/brave soul Frank Grillo—who I assume will now live out the remainder of his days locked in a tower in the Belgium section of Epcot—who straight up revealed his character Crossbones would appear in the fourth Avengers film during a flashback.
Now, I don't think there's that many people who read that news and go "holy shit, THE Brock 'Crossbones' Rumrow?!"—although if you are a diehard Bones Stan I see you and I respect your choices—but it is highly intriguing that Avengers 4 features flashbacks at all. If it's one thing the franchise-capper is poised to play with, it's time. Just because Thanos was the only character in Infinity War who realized he could use the Time Stone to turn the clock back like 12 seconds and fix minor inconveniences doesn't mean someone else can't eventually wise up. The OG Avengers + M'Baku have to bring Peter Parker back from his ash-pile somehow.
As we wrote before, the prevailing timey-wimey theory points to Binarily Augmented Retro-Framing, a.k.a BARF, the noise Tony Stark made often during his period of crippling alcoholism that the MCU kind've came close to touching on and then forgot about forever. The technology was introduced in Captain America: Civil War, a Stark-invented contraption that allows the wearer to revisit critical moments from their past. Tony can relive the last time he saw his parents alive. Steve Rogers can travel back to the night he met Peggy Carter. Wanda Maximoff can go back, time and again, to the exact second she concluded she's not technically boning a computer. That type of stuff.
This all ties intriguingly into the news that 13 Reasons Why star Katherine Langford—significantly younger than most of the MCU—has been cast in a mysterious role for Avengers 4.
'Boba Fett' Movie Reportedly Dead
Rating: 8, or "Mandaloriain't"
Not to say we told you this would happen four months ago, but we 100% did and I expect my payment in either one (1) Pulitzer Prize or one (1) fully functioning thermal detonator. (I know you have one, George! Answer my letters!) Lucasfilm President Kathleen Kennedy reportedly confirmed that a Boba Fett spin-off movie written and directed by James Mangold is no longer in development.
This is fine. No news has ever been more fine with me than this news right here. Another rushed Star Wars spin-off, much less one about Boba Fett, is right above "just a shit ton more global warming" on a list of things the world needs right now. Some days the two things are neck and neck imho.
Listen, Mangold is a dynamite director. I left the theater after Logan and sobbed on the phone with my daughter for 25 minutes before realizing I don't even have a daughter. Any Boba Fett story he wanted to tell would have most likely been entertaining, massive, and bold. But my word, would it have been unnecessary. What more do you monsters need to know about Boba Fett? The character that was only cool in the first place because his helmet was dope and he disintegrated fools so often even Darth Vader was like "hey, chill with that shit ya psycho." The only Boba Fett spin-off scene I would allow is the moment Darth Vader finally had enough of Boba Fett's disintegration nonsense. Just Boba Fett jet-packing in to the Death Star carrying a jar of ash and Darth Vader like, pinching the spot where the bridge of his nose used to be and sighing deeply like a disappointed Chili's manager. Just like, "Jesus Christ, Boba." I don't know, now I'm just spit-balling.
Anyway, we're already getting more Fett-esque action in the shape of Jon Favreau's The Mandalorian, which I'm really hoping is about a bounty hunter living in the Outer Rim to avoid the embarrassing fact his dad fell into a Sarlacc Pit and his grandfather was decapitated by Samuel L. Jackson.
Disney Eying 'Pirates of the Caribbean' Reboot
Rating: 4, or "No, no, no and a bottle of dumb"
On that hypothetical list I mentioned above of things the world does not currently need, add an entry for "another movie where Johnny Depp gets fucked up on bathtub rum and drives an actual pirate ship he bought with money he doesn't have on to the set of Disney Studios and someone happens to film it," better known as roughly three out of the five Pirates of the Caribbean movies.
Disney, at least somewhat, apparently agrees? The studio is looking to re-booty the Pirates franchise, which most likely means the core cast of the first five movies wouldn't be involved. So a hearty ahoy to Depp getting the plank, but an equally robust ".....sure?" to new Pirates films overall. I mean, I get it. The franchise itself is a money-making miracle, somehow translating a ride that most of our parents got handjobs on in the 1960's into actual billions of dollars. These things were so successful that Disney is trying to now transform the Jungle Cruise ride into a live-action film, and that ride's plot is "Oh look, Steven, a hippo."
But do we need it? That's rhetorical, of course, we don't need any reboot ever made unless it's a Mac and Me reboot with one of the Stranger Things kids playing the alien. It doesn't matter which, just fucking pick one. But man, I'm just exhausted. It's just so depressing to know that the last movie I ever watch on my death bed decades into the future will almost definitely be an Indiana Jones remix starring a 38-year-old Jacob Tremblay.
The one possible saving grace here is that the reboot is reportedly coming from Deadpool writers Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick, who at least understand on some level that massive tentpoles were meant to be mocked. Let's hope it's more of a meta, trope-twisting Deadpool 1 situation and not something like Deadpool 2, which was like if someone lectured you for an hour about how bad and lazy the song Wonderwall is and then was like "anyway, here's Wonderwall."
'Gotham' Reveals Its Bane
Rating: 8, or "You merely adopted the snark."
Here is a brief but authoritative list of things that Gotham's Bane, played by Shane West, looks like in the official photos released by Fox.
1) A hot water heater that was struck by lightning during a Nine Inch Nails concert.
2) A sentient Keurig machine that owns The Black Parade on vinyl but not digital.
3) Immortan Joe from Fury Road but instead of hoarding water he hoards Monster energy drinks.
4) Buzz Lightyear's younger brother, Zane Lightyear.
These are all compliments. I love Gotham's steampunk-meets-hardcore drugs wackiness and legitimately cannot wait for its return.
FilmStruck Is No More
Rating: 1, or "Everything is awful"
Eagle-eyed readers might have noticed that this week we discussed three straight Disney stories and a superhero TV show, because that's all that makes up entertainment new these days and/or all any human being on this flaming wretched Earth wants to talk about. That's not entirely true, I know there are people out there who love more—I see you, and I respect you just as much as I respect Crossbones Stans—and for those people the streaming service FilmStruck, chock-full of classics and a veritable wishing well of bonus features, was both a haven and a blessing. Whelp, all aboard the train to Goddamnsville because WarnerMedia announced FilmStruck will soon cease to exist.
It's fine. Everything is fine! I'm sure Disney's streaming service will have a wide selection of...I'm sorry, I'm getting word that many of Disney's older classic are shockingly racist? Ah, nevertheless. Luckily, Netflix has a wide range of classic films to pour over, from Deep Blue Sea to at least a couple episodes of Ozark. The choices are endless. Endless I say.