Who says crime doesn’t pay? Answer: someone who didn’t sell the movie rights to his crimes. THR reports that Colton Harris-Moore, the “Barefoot Bandit”, has signed a deal worth $1.3 million with 20th Century Fox. However, the money won’t go into Harris-Moore’s pocket but towards the $1.4 million he owes as restitution to his victims. Harris-Moore will write the script with Oscar-winning screenwriter Dustin Lance Black (Milk).
I’m wondering if the two will do a Catch Me If You Can take on the material or go in a different direction. It certainly lends itself to that angle as Harris-Moore had a two-year crime spree that ended in February 2007 when he crashed an airplane he taught himself to fly. Harris-Moore’s entertainment Lance Rosen says, “It’s very unusual for this kind of money to be paid for anyone’s life story rights.” It’s unusual but not impossible! Hit the jump for my fake tips on how to turn your crimes into moving pictures!
[These tips are fake. Collider in no way endorses any kind of crime. This is for humor only. I really can't stress that enough.]
First, you’ll need a hook. Harris-Moore was called the “Barefoot Bandit” because he reportedly did some of his crimes barefoot and once left behind 39 chalk footprints and the word “c’ya!” Be sure your calling card is cute and endearing and not serial-killer-esque.
Second, no violence. The second you hurt someone, you go from rapscallion to everyone-wants-you-to-die-in-a-hail-of-gunfire. You can still get a movie made about your life (Bonnie and Clyde, Public Enemies) but it will be long after you’re dead and then only your legend can profit.
Finally, make sure you get a worthy adversary or adversaries. Usually movies will condense the dedicated team of investigators down to a single person (like Carl Hanratty in Catch Me If You Can). But your crime-fighting adversary needs to be smart, likable, and it’s even better if you’re two sides of the same coin. It adds a nice juxtaposition to the whole thing.
[Seriously: These tips are a joke and meant to parody movies that glorify real-life crooks. Don't do crime.]