Spoilers follow for anyone who hasn't seen any version of Batman v Superman.

Upon hearing the announcement in 2013 that Warner Bros. and DC Comics would be bringing Batman and Superman together on the big screen for the first time in Batman v Superman, I was just as excited as any other fan who'd grown up enjoying their stories in comic books, TV series, and films. Then came 2016, the year that Zack Snyder's highly anticipated first installment of the DC Cinematic Universe would launch in earnest. The response to the film from critics was brutal; the fans, less so, but still divided. The movie began earning descriptors like "grim" and "dour," so coupling that with a 151-minute runtime left me with the decision to pass on Batman v Superman during its theatrical run.

And now the Ultimate Edition has arrived, a three-hour cut with 30 minutes of additional footage that has many praising its clearer narrative and more cohesive overall structure. So I find myself with the rare opportunity of getting to watch the Ultimate Edition without ever having seen the theatrical version; the first time I watched the R-rated Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice was just the way Snyder intended it to be seen. Or at least, that's how it's being marketed. (If you want a breakdown of the differences between the two cuts, check out Evan Valentine's write-up here.) But rather than being impressed with a movie that was much better than reports have led me to believe, I'm left in a state of disbelief at just how convoluted the theatrical cut must have been and am amazed that a project that should have been a slam dunk was bungled so badly.

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Image via Clay Enos

Let's get a few things straight: This review isn't about DC vs Marvel; I've long been a fan of both comic book companies (and others) and they each have their strengths and weaknesses as publishers and production companies. Neither is it about Warner Bros. vs Disney or any other movie studio; WB is the company behind the fantastic The Dark Knight trilogy, after all. And no, it doesn't set out to bash Snyder out of turn; I'm probably more forgiving than most of Snyder's work: I find 300 and Dawn of the Dead highly enjoyable, the extended cuts of Sucker Punch and Watchmen each have their merits, and Man of Steel was a solid film troubled by a few glaring oversights. Unfortunately, rather than eliminating the mistakes made in the Superman standalone, they've been magnified, amplified, and pumped full of alien steroids in this dark, psychotic ruination of the world's finest heroes.

The Good:

Strong words, I know, but there is a surprising amount of good to be found amidst the clutter of capes and cowls. Here's the best of Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice - Ultimate Edition:

Ben Affleck as Batman - The plethora of guns and automatic weapons aside, I was quite impressed with Affleck's performance as an aging, disgruntled, and singularly minded Batman. It's a character tailor-made for Snyder & Co's brand of the DC Cinematic Universe: he's dark, brooding, and violent, willing to permanently eliminate villains of any shape and size (or at least brand them) if it means protecting innocents. We'll let that particular hypocrisy slide for the moment since the outlook works for this version of Batman, one which brings the best elements of Christopher Nolan's cinematic version of the character together with that of Frank Miller's Batman from "The Dark Knight Returns." And Affleck's physicality brings a brutal and visceral gut-punch to the fantastic fight scenes and action set-pieces; the warehouse fight is one of the best I've ever seen and I wanted to see more like it. The decision to make Batman a force of terror among the criminal underworld of Gotham City was one of the strongest translations from script to screen in the entire film.

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Image via Warner Bros.

Gal Gadot as Diana Prince / Wonder Woman - It should come as no surprise to learn that Gadot pulled off both the "plain-clothes" and armored-up version of the Amazonian warrior princess, but it was nice to see her character so well-received by the fanbase nonetheless. Wonder Woman doesn't get a huge amount of screentime, but she certainly makes the most of it, whether by playing the mysterious and capable antiques dealer Diana Prince, or the all-powerful Wonder Woman who saves the title heroes by movie's end. This was a great introduction that bodes well for her standalone film next year.

Henry Cavill as Clark Kent - One of the highlights of the Ultimate Edition is the vastly expanded character work for Clark Kent. Cavil actually gets to play a range of emotions as the mild-mannered reporter: he flirts with his live-in girlfriend Lois Lane (Amy Adams), challenges his boss Perry White (Laurence Fishburne) for his defeatist attitude, and gets to follow his reporter's instincts for once while investigating Gotham's brutal masked vigilante, the Batman. Clark even gets to share intimate conversations with his mother (and father ... more on that in a second) that focus squarely on the philosophical challenges of being a god among men. It's fantastic. And I have no idea why a large portion of it was cut for the theatrical release, but the Ultimate Edition certainly makes Clark, and by extension Superman, a much more likable guy.

Jeremy Irons as Alfred Pennyworth - Irons is fantastic in most everything he does, but his capable and curmudgeonly caretaker of Master Bruce is one of my favorite iterations. He acts as a father figure, a voice of reason, and as a sort of stand-in for Commissioner Gordon; if only Bruce would actually listen to him.

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Image via Warner Bros.

Acknowledging human casualties - One of the biggest failings of Man of Steel was the wanton destruction of Metropolis that left literally thousands dead; Batman v Superman addressed both the fans' complaints and the repercussions in the world of the movie itself by focusing the central conflict on this very issue. It's literally the reason that Bruce Wayne, who channels fan rage in this movie, wants to take out Superman for good. While his ultimate goal may be misguided (and suicidal), his reasoning makes sense in light of this destruction. Happily, Batman v Superman takes pains to clarify that the superheroes and other "good guys" make sure that innocent civilians are moved to safety or tended to once destruction inevitably occurs ... at least until the U.S. government detonates a nuke in the atmosphere... (Someone at Snyder & Co. should maybe Google how nuclear radiation works...)

Easter eggs - With three hours of runtime, you best believe there are some Easter eggs to be found. The best, in my humble opinion were the Man-Bat from Bruce's nightmare about visiting his parents' tomb, the Parademons and Darkseid's symbol during his second dream sequence, a mention of the Lang family by Pa Kent, Glen Woodburn (a character introduced in Man of Steel as a stand-in for Jack Ryder, aka the Creeper), and the idea to introduce the rest of the Justice League. Unfortunately, the execution was lacking on this last part, but hey, A for effort. Cameos - Vikram Gandhi, Neil deGrasse Tyson, and Andrew Sullivan as talking heads, similar to those found in Miller's "The Dark Knight Returns" arc. Though the real-life personalities take viewers out of the suspension of disbelief a bit, at least someone is debating the pros, cons, and philosophical arguments of what to do with a superhuman among mortals.

The Bad: No movie is perfect, so here's a look at some of the actors, characters, and plot points that just didn't work for me in the broad scheme of Batman v Superman:

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Image via Warner Bros.

Ben Affleck as Bruce Wayne - While Batman is expected to be unflinching in his delivery of swift and brutal justice to criminals, his alter ego Bruce Wayne needs to keep up appearances. If Gotham City's most famous billionaire is just as brooding, aggressive, and unhinged as his costumed counterpart, the character loses some of the contrast that makes him so compelling and dynamic; it's a common problem with Batman v Superman. Bruce does get up to a bit of sleuthing in this movie, which I enjoyed, but rather than being the face of his corporation, holding fundraisers for relief efforts or other philanthropic purposes, or even using his commercial pull to sway legislators (like Lex attempts to do), he's attending underground bare-knuckle brawls, raiding his family's wine cellar, and stalking women at Lex's swanky party. To reference "The Dark Knight Returns" again, Wayne's fortune is eventually wiped out in that story as he embraces becoming Batman in earnest, but Batman v Superman tried to have the best of both worlds and came up short.

Henry Cavill as Superman - Perhaps the most infuriating part of Batman v Superman that has nothing to do with obnoxious plot points or terrible writing is Snyder & Co.'s disdain for the Man of Steel. A common complaint is that Superman took second billing in what's meant to be his sequel; a more specific complaint could be that Snyder & Co. seem to go out of their way to make Superman as unlikeable, incompetent, and dull as superhumanly possible. Cavill cannot elevate the script in which everything is set against his character, unlike Clark who gets a few moments of actual emotional expression. Even when saving children and being admired by onlookers, Superman seems almost super-incapable of joy. At this point, he should honestly be above all of this petty human bickering and focusing instead on greater evils in the world. This maturation period was the heart of Man of Steel, so with Superman stuck feeling sorry for himself and convinced that he-the world's most powerful being-is helpless, there's little room for the audience to feel anything but disinterest or outright disdain.

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Image via Warner Bros.

Amy Adams as Lois Lane - Though the Ultimate Edition allows Lois to "investigate" Lex Luthor's ultimate (inept) plan to frame Superman for mass murder, she's still reduced to sputtering out sentence fragments and aha moments of exposition to help keep the audience apace with the increasingly nonsensical plot. And when she's not researching magic bullets or revealing Superman's family tree to Batman, she's aggressively complicating Superman's attempts to save her or the world at large. Additional Scenes - Not every scene found in the additional 30 minutes is beneficial to the movie itself. For example, do we really need to see a pair of Gotham City cops watching the football game between Gotham and Metropolis? Does the scene in which Steppenwolf and the Motherboxes are revealed do anything for the film beyond providing a fun Easter egg for comic book fans or teasing the next potential villain? There are still some deleted scenes here that were probably best suited for the actual Deleted Scenes category on the eventual Blu-ray and added little to nothing to the narrative.

Tao Okamoto as Mercy Graves - Not only does Mercy get only a couple of lines in this movie, we never get to see her in action as Lex Luthor's very capable assistant and bodyguard. Her first live-action appearance was a waste. If you'd like to see a sample of what Mercy can actually be like, check out Superman: The Animated Series where she's almost as beloved as Harley Quinn on the sister series, Batman: The Animated Series.

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Image via Warner Bros.

Dream Sequence - Although we got to see hints of Darkseid and some cool-looking Parademons in the dream sequence, it was a dream sequence nonetheless, and one that served mainly to further villainize Superman. Since this was so far outside of the bounds of the main narrative, which already had a number of sideplots going on, it probably could have been left in the deleted scenes or reworked as a post-credits scene. And don't even get me started on the brief arrival of The Flash, which was as atrocious as Ezra Miller's mustache.

Cameos - Jon Stewart, Soledad O'Brien, and Anderson Cooper ... Why go through the trouble of creating fake cities in a fictional world if you're just going to use real-world journalists? It really takes the viewer out of the experience, just like watching Superman smash through an IHOP in Man of Steel.

The Ugly: If you're wondering why I've barely skimmed the surface of the plot in Batman v Superman, it's because it belongs right here in the ugly pile. But it's definitely not alone since the villains of this film are some of the most laughably horrible aspects of the whole thing.

Jesse Eisenberg as Lex Luthor - This was a mess from Day One. I've been wrong about casting in the past, but from the moment that Eisenberg's look and voice for Luthor were revealed, you just knew that this thing was going to be a trainwreck. Look, actors make choices, and in the face of a bad script and, presumably, a director who lacked the confidence to say, "Hell no," Eisenberg seemed to think the choices he made were good ones. They were not. in keeping with Snyder & Co.'s disdain for Superman, the theme extends to the character's villains, as well; he's more of a combination of Heath Ledger's Joker and other Batman villains like The Riddler and the Mad Hatter. Eisenberg's Luthor is much less like the billionaire business magnate who's described as one of the most intelligent people in the world and more like a deranged spoiled brat with daddy issues and xenophobic sentiments. His sputtering stream of consciousness and childish antics were never threatening, not even when he was force-feeding Jolly Ranchers to Congressmen.

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Image via Warner Bros.

Luthor's plan to rid the world of Superman includes: special bullets that are easily traced back to his company LexCorp, a team of mercenaries who are very recognizable, paying off an African woman to testify to Congress about Superman's violent nature, and sending a jar of urine to a principled senator before blowing her up along the entire U.S. Capitol thanks to a bomb hidden away in a disabled man's wheelchair. Oh, he also orchestrated the murder of prisoners branded by Batman, in the hope of pissing off Superman so much that the two of them would take each other down and clear the path to world domination for Luthor.

When that didn't work, Luthor used Plan B: a genetically engineered monstrosity that combined his DNA with that of the dead Kryptonian general, Zod. Is this all a mad plan of a deranged comic book supervillain? Sure! Is it the well-conceived, intricate, and coherent plan of a genius bent on outwitting the physically superior foes who oppose him? No, sir, it is not.

Chris Terrio and David S. Goyer's Script - Granted, most everything I complained about regarding Luthor is actually from the script that forced him to act out such a bizarre plan. What I don't fully understand is how Terrio and Goyer ended up with the mess that made its way into production; clearly there were more cooks in the kitchen than these two. Terrio has far fewer writing credits than Goyer, but his sole feature film credit won him an Oscar for Argo. Not bad, especially considering the thriller's tense, well-paced story. Goyer, on the other hand, could churn out something on the level of The Dark Knight trilogy (which admittedly varies in writing quality from film to film) or something like Jumper, Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance, and Blade: Trinity.

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Image via Warner Bros.

Despite Christopher Nolan's contribution to the film, we still ended up with dialogue like, "You're digging up snakes, Lo." Is this a Kryptonian phrase? Or the opening dialogue from the film itself when Bruce Wayne says, "There was a time above... a time before. There were perfect things... diamond absolutes. But things fall, things on Earth. And what falls... is fallen. In the dream, they took me to the light. A beautiful lie." ... We get it; Bruce is Emo, but this is just jibberish. Also, whoever was obsessed with the word "cake" ("hero cakes"/"let them eat cake"/pancake...) probably needed to do one more round of editing. And then there was Clark's self-exile into the mountains where he just happened to have a father/son chat with the deceased Pa Kent. I'm astounded as to how this mess of a script on nearly all counts managed to make its way into production without anyone stopping to ask some hard questions. Perhaps all the shot-callers merely thought that any misunderstandings on their part would surely be picked up by the knowledgeable comic book fans or the competent director who had served them well so far. That would explain, in part, why anyone signed off on the decision to include the abomination/attempted fan-service that was Doomsday...

The general consensus is that the Ultimate Edition is superior to the theatrical cut, and that may very well be the case, but it does not mean that Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice magically becomes a good movie because of a few extra scenes. In fact, it defies belief that the previously released version could be much worse. So if you're like me and haven't seen the theatrical cut, definitely go ahead and check out the Ultimate Edition if you'd like to see what the fuss is all about. The good news is that, now that the full version is available, some intrepid fan will cut together an edit that is well-paced, action-packed, coherent, and enjoyable. There's a good movie in there somewhere.

Rating: D+

Be sure to check out some of our other Batman v Superman coverage here:

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Image via Warner Bros.