Ah, the 1980s, a time of spandex, synth guitars, and toy advertisements disguised as Saturday morning cartoons meant to entertain a generation of kids all over the world. It's impossible to sum up the entirety of 80s cartoons with any sort of meaningful description, but there's one thing they all had in common: Theme songs. Epic, ridiculous theme songs.
A cartoon's theme song tends to be one of the most memorable parts of the cartoon itself; chances are you're already humming a particular tune to yourself even if you can't remember anything about the show. That's where we come in! Not only have we rounded up the very best in 80s cartoon theme songs for your listening and viewing pleasure, we've included some deep cuts pulled from the dark corners of TV history that you might barely remember or might never have seen at all.
To be clear, these cartoons had to have a substantial run in the 1980s to be considered "80s Cartoons"; sorry, The Simpsons. Also, there had to be some sort of lyrical song, noticeable theme, or anything other than the straight-up exposition style in the intro, like the ones used in these disqualified series: The Centurions, Dino-Riders, He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, She-Ra: Princess of Power, Sky Commanders, Thundarr the Barbarian, Turbo Teen, Blackstar, G-Force Guardians of Space, Sectaurs. (These were tough cuts, believe me.)
Some entries joined the list based on pure, audacious style, like my buddy Overlord up there from the easily missed series, Spiral Zone. Some other honorable mentions that didn't make the cut include: The Littles, Galaxy High, Mister T, The Incredible Hulk, and Popples, though I'm sure I missed a few of your favorites along the way. You might think you know your 80s cartoons, but you haven't seen anything yet!
So Bad, It's Good
Even the best cartoon can be sunk by a bad theme song, and vice versa. The following 10 shows feature some of the "So Bad, It's Good" theme songs ever to come out of the 80s. There are certainly some obscure references here, but give them a listen regardless. You should be delightedly at how awesomely bad these really are!
Here's how the Top 3 in this category panned out:
3) Defenders of the Earth
2) SilverHawks
1) Spiral Zone
48.) Visionaries: Knights of the Magical Light
(1987) 13 Episodes
Visionaries knows that repeating the name of the title and mumbling incoherently is the key to success. Take that, science!
47.) Pole Position
(1984-85) 13 Episodes
The only thing better than repeating the show's title is screaming it at the top of your hair-metal lungs, straining the vocal chords to hit the ultimate sour note.
46.) InHumanoids
(1986) 13 Episodes
Seeing a pattern yet? This time, however, the title is growled at you, perhaps by a young Vin Diesel.
45.) BraveStarr
(1987-89) 65 Episodes
More atonal repetition of the show's title and rushed, unintelligible gibberish delivering exposition. "Strength of the BEAR, The Bear, the bear!"
44.) Fantastic Max
(1988-91) 26 Episodes
We finally get an actual song for this one, but in addition to the fact that it's weirdly obsessed with "four-ply diapers and that safety pin", it's just not great, Bob.
43.) Hulk Hogan's Rock 'n' Wrestling
(1985-86) 25 Episodes
Oh yeah, brother! A strange blend of live-action and animation--and chants of Hulk! Hulk!--make this one unforgettable, no matter how hard we try.
42.) Bigfoot and the Muscle Machines
(1985) Miniseries
When you want your heroes to be "big, bad, dirty, and mean" and also monster trucks.
41.) Ulysses 31
(1981) 27 Episodes
I honestly have no clue what Space Jesus and his lightsaber are doing in this cartoon, but the synth is real. And rhyming Ulysses with galaxies? Mwah!
40.) Jayce and the Wheeled Warriors
(1985) 65 Episodes
This one gets an A for effort and hitting the high notes, sadly marking the beginning of the end for these "so bad they're good" songs and toeing into "actually good" territory.
39.) TigerSharks
(1987) 26 Episodes
This one gets points for its jazzy theme song and confusingly sexy octopus woman.
37.) Bionic Six
(1987-89) 65 Episodes
Finally! A sitcom-styled theme song about a family of cyborg superheroes fighting evil!
36.) M.A.S.K.
(1986-86) 75 Episodes
Perhaps the first theme song that made stuttering cool.
35.) Defenders of the Earth
(1986-87) 65 Episodes
This seemingly unending theme song is so bad it sounds like a good parody of 80s theme songs ... and it's glorious!
34.) SilverHawks
(1986) 65 Episodes
In the Mad Libs naming game of [adjective/animal][animal], SilverHawks might be the most tame. It makes up for it with a screeching space hawk, space rainbows, and rawking space guitars.
33.) The Spiral Zone
(1987) 65 Episodes
"Surrender, or pay the consequences!" There are few better ways to start a theme song, and few better ways to end it than by screaming the title over and over again with the voice of a Metal God.
Kid Stuff
It's not exactly fair to compare kids show theme songs with action-oriented series geared toward older audiences. Honestly, sometimes the younger shows have the better songs, as is the case with some of the following selections.
Here are the standings for the Top 3:
3) Chip 'n Dale's Rescue Rangers
2) Alvin & The Chipmunks
1) Disney's Adventures of the Gummi Bears
32.) Wuzzles
(1985) 13 Episodes
Easily the happiest song ever written about dealing with "split personality" disorder.
31.) Adventures of the Little Koala
(1984-85) 52 Episodes
Vastly superior to the similar koala-themed show, Noozles. America could not get enough of koalas in the 80s.
30.) Care Bears
(1985-88) 60 Episodes
This is a weirdly groovy ballad about a species of emotional energy-projecting stuffed animals (and their cousins), and we love it.