Best Worst Movies of 2014

     December 28, 2014

best-worst-movies-2014

It’d be nice if most movies could live up to Selma, Birdman, Boyhood and other Oscar hopefuls’ standards, but every now and then, you just need a good bad movie.  It could be a film that’s such an utter failure that it’s fun to get a laugh at its expense, a subpar movie that you enjoy watching simply because you’re into a certain genre, actor or character, or perhaps a movie that’s actually pretty good, but just isn’t your thing whatsoever.  No matter which classification you prefer, the beauty of a Best Worst movie is that it manages to spark interest and/or entertain, but for the wrong reasons.

Hit the jump out to check out my Best Worst Movies of 2014.

10. I, Frankenstein

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Stuart Beattie’s I, Frankenstein may be a boring, washed out heap of CGI vomit, but it does have one thing going for it – gargoyles.  Forget super mopey Adam (Aaron Eckhart) and his cookie-cutter love interest, Terra Wade (Yvonne Strahovski).  I want a film about Queen Leonore (Miranda Otto) and the Gargoyle Order.  They’ve got a rich history, a society with interesting rules and a bunch of members (Mahesh Jadu, Caitlin Stasey, Jai Courtney) that get a fraction of the screen time that Adam does, but are exponentially more memorable.

9. Wetlands

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Sure, “hate” is a strong word, but I hated Wetlands.  In fact, it might have been the most miserable experience I had watching a film all year.  However, that doesn’t mean I can classify it as a bad film.  In fact, it’s not by any means.  I’m a pretty neat and clean person so I suspect this is just a case where, A, I couldn’t relate to or connect with the main character and, B, I just had no interest whatsoever in watching someone stick her finger up her butt and revel in using disgusting public bathrooms.

8. Non-Stop

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The only reason Non-Stop works is because Liam Neeson is in it.  The texting component is absolutely ridiculous and the whole whodunnit scenario isn’t satisfying in the least, but there’s just something about watching Neeson save the day and kick some butt at 30,000 feet that makes it well worth a watch.  It’s easy to forget that Julianne Moore, Scoot McNairy, Michelle Dockery, Nate Parker, Corey Stoll and Lupita Nyong’o are all in the film as well, but when you’ve got Neeson doing things like bribing unruly passengers with free international flights to save the day, there’s just no way anyone else can come close to stealing the spotlight.

7. Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb 

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I’m almost embarrassed to admit it, but I laughed throughout a good deal of Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb.  There are a lot of jokes that fall painfully flat and the whole father-son thing feels forced, but whenever Dan Stevens is on screen as Sir Lancelot, which is a lot, the movie is absolutely hilarious.  A good deal of the franchise’s humor comes from the fact that museum exhibits are waking up in an unfamiliar time period, but I’ve never seen a character work the concept as well as Sir Lancelot, especially during an unforgettable cameo scene towards the tail end of the film.

6. That Awkward Moment

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That Awkward Moment sends all the wrong messages about dating and has a particularly deplorable group of main character at the core, but I can’t help but to be the slightest bit charmed by them.  Call me a hypocrite, but there’s just something undeniable about Zac Efron, Miles Teller and Michael B. Jordan’s on-screen presence, even when their characters are stupid, selfish and borderline sociopaths.  There’s no harm in getting a giggle out of some silly dick jokes and ogling big screen man candy (ugh), but god help any moviegoer who turns to That Awkward Moment for dating tips.

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5. Ouija

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There’s a reason we get a slew of horror movies that use and abuse the same old tired concepts; there’s something appealing about them.  I know Ouija makes little to no sense, has scares we’ve seen time and time again, and doesn’t tap into the nostalgia of playing with a Ouija board as a kid, but there’s something fun about watching a group of mildly likable victims get picked off one-by-one.  It’s tough to explain and certainly might not hold true for those who aren’t big suckers for the genre but, to me, if a horror movie tries something new and fails, it’s got little hope, but if it misses the mark while following a familiar formula, there’s still a chance you can get swept up in it and enjoy some mindless fun.

4. Vampire Academy

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Vampire Academy isn’t the greatest young adult book-to-film adaptation out there, but it certainly doesn’t deserve that ugly 9% on Rotten Tomatoes.  The film’s biggest flaws are the overabundance of exposition, the one-dimensional leads and the worthless adult characters, but none of that comes anywhere close to sucking the fun out of the film.  (Pun intended.)  Vampire Academy rocks a vibrant environment, a killer soundtrack and a wildly charming lead performance from Zoey Deutch, making the movie a very worthy guilty pleasure with some serious pizazz that’ll send you on your way with some added pep in your step.

3. Interstellar 

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Interstellar is somewhere in between being a best worst movie and a worst best movie.  I thoroughly enjoyed it while watching it, but the more I think about it, the more I wish it were something else.  However, that also hasn’t stopped me from defending the film when friends and colleagues pinpoint plot holes, crack jokes about the all-corn diet or get a laugh out of Matt Damon’s character.  Interstellar is a captivating and daring movie that digs deeper and goes bigger than most would, but there’s also no denying that when I came down from the high of seeing it, it totally fell apart.

2. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

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Jonathan Liebesman’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is pretty uninspired and brainless, but as someone who grew up with every Ninja Turtles toy, VHS tape and video game imaginable, all Liebesman had to do was deliver a fun romp that captured at least some of what I loved so much about the Turtles.  There are a lot of missed opportunities, the Turtles’ monstrous design takes some serious getting used to and Michelangelo’s creep factor can make you a bit uncomfortable too, but overall, the movie keeps enough of their personalities and relationship dynamics intact to win over a longtime fan.

1. Winter’s Tale

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Winter’s Tale is the ultimate best worst movie.  I still can’t quite wrap my head around how something like this even gets made, and with such big name talent nonetheless!  You’d think Russell Crowe would have read the part when Pearly Soames rips someone’s face off, draws a picture of Beverly Penn (Jessica Brown Findlay) with the blood from said face-ripping and then has his henchman ID find her using his bloody finger painting and passed on the project, but that’s not the case.  Winter’s Tale is an utter failure in every respect and while I do poke fun at Colin Farrell’s haircut, the flying horse and the atrocious dialogue, I really do enjoy watching the nonsensical melodrama.  There’s no nice way to put this considering I’m essentially getting a big laugh out of many peoples’ hard work, but for what it’s worth, the time that I spent watching Winter’s Tale is truly some of my fondest memories of 2014.

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