Some random thoughts of randomness on this Tuesday before Thanksgiving:

-Carlos Boozer, who has not played in an NBA game since February, will miss at least another month of the 2005-2006 season with a hamstring injury. Instant karma, my Alaskan friend, it has gotten you.

-I’d be a lot more excited if an athlete could knock ten years off of his life every time he got traded: Sergei Fedorov, Columbus Blue Jacket.

-When I was younger, and my favorite teams would lose, my father would console me by pointing out that the other guys were professionals too. How would he have explained the Raptors beating Miami if the Heat were my favorite team? Chinese riddle for you.

-He’ll never get any credit, whether he deserves it or not: Cavalier head coach Mike Brown.

-Triniadad and Tobago outlasted Bahrain last week to qualify for the 2006 World Cup. Bahrain is a fairly small country, as evidenced by the fact that its squad consisted of eight men, a goat, and a pregnant woman.

-Hummer with no engine: Kwame Brown. Biceps do not equal baskets. If they did, the Ultimate Warrior would be the NBA’s all-time leading scorer.

-I should have spent less time playing video games and more time learning how to throw a curveball: A.J. Burnett is going to get $50 million from some team to be an exceedingly average and oft-injured starter.

-Which reminds me: In his mid 1990s book “Mad as Hell”, Mike Lupica wrote about Neil O’Donnell and David Cone hitting their free agent years after solid seasons, destined to get more money for being the “best available.” The more things change….

-Not even trying to curb their image as the cable haven for soft core pornography: Cinemax, which apparently now starts airing the nudie flicks at 10:30 pm EST. Think of all the hours of my life I could have had back as a teenager if this policy had been instituted 15 years ago.

-Pavel Bure retired. Valeri Bure is still married to D.J. Tanner from “Full House.” That is my update; on the Bure brothers.

-Washington 99, American University 82. It’s safe to say I don’t need to worry about making travel plans in March. Note that game was tied at halftime (AU should have pulled a Von Trapp family and left right then and there).

-A little less impressive when you consider that one of the “three” is the Cleveland Browns: Your 7-3 Chicago Bears.

-And in honor of Chris Farley: What would the Bears’ record be if their coach were a certain moustache-wearing coach named “Ditka?”

- Larry Brown is just a jerk. He’s the guy in the office who skates by on a reputation he made 15 projects ago and talks about everyone else behind their back. It’s never his fault if anything goes wrong, and he’s out of there before the stuff hits the fan. The guy benched Lebron James and Amare Stoudamire for crying out loud! The retarded brother in the Met Life financial commercial knows not to do that.

-Ahman Green is upset that the Packers have not offered him a new contract. Ahman, your quadriceps has not yet fully re-attached itself to your leg. I’m no doctor, but I think you need your quadriceps attached to run for touchdowns. Fumbling in key situations? Not so much.

-Open note to Michigan coach Lloyd Carr: You know, John Cooper had a great record, too. He also kept loading up his program with talented recruits, blowing games he should have won, not winning national championships, and playing in the Insight.com Who Gives a Damn Bowl. He works for ESPN now.

-Speaking of Ohio State and Michigan, the penalty called on Santonio Holmes was one of the worst calls I have ever seen an official make. Holmes dove into the end zone because he had to; if you check the replay, two Michigan defenders are closing in on him.

-If these two fought, not a single person would dare break it up: Terrell Owens vs. Milton Bradley. Paging Don King.

-The Indians are not the favorite to sign any major free agent this off-season. Look, if it will save enough money to help bring the final piece to the puzzle, you have my permission to stop selling kosher hot dogs at games. I’ll get the rest of the Jewish people to agree. Work with me here.

-In related news, the stuff that GNC sells to speed up your urinary cycle has been selling like hotcakes: Major League Baseball announces a tougher steroid policy.

-The heavyweight division in boxing is pathetic. I hear they’re thinking of giving the title back to Michael Spinks.

-Weekend football update: three catches (including a one-handed, over the shoulder catch on the 2^nd play of the game), one touchdown, no major injuries. The final was a tie, as it was 4-4 (4 TDs apiece) when someone rolled an ankle.

-Rueben Droughns: thank you for saving my fantasy team for a second consecutive season.

-Sage Rosenfels: You’ll be atoning for that performance next Yom Kippur.

-Eddie Guerrero: RIP. Your industry needs a house cleaning.

Happy Thanksgiving Everybody! Adamh164@yahoo.com.