MIDWEST MISERY By Adam Hirschfeld

With the Major League Baseball trading deadline fast approaching, the Cleveland Indians and their oh-so-slight lead in the American League Wild Card race could use a couple of improvements. To wit:

a.      Closer

b.      Number 3 or 4 starting pitcher (although there are no starters available

c.      Power hitting outfielder

So of course, the Indians went out Friday and made their huge deadline splash by trading a minor league catcher named Max Ramirez for Kenny Lofton, who is none of the three things listed above but is a 40-year old who plays the same position as team superstar and teenage girl fantasy Grady Sizemore.

Lofton has had two prior stints in Cleveland. The first occurred during the Tribe’s renaissance and mini-golden age from 1992-1996, when Lofton was one of the game’s elite. He could change a game with his speed and his defense. His catch at the end of Game 5 of the 1995 ALCS off an Edgar Martinez blast is the most underrated defensive play in the history of baseball (watch that game and watch that ball float around in the wind knowing the Indians are headed to face Randy Johnson in Seattle and tell me I’m wrong. I double dog dare you). His “Mad Dash” in the Kingdome during Game 6 of that same series was the defining moment of his career.

Then he was dealt. Since the Indians decided they did not want to pay Lofton in free agency, nor lose him without compensation as they did Albert Belle, they sent Lofton to the Atlanta Braves. Lofton was an all-star in 1997, but also injured one of his legs and never seemed to be quite the same player.

Of course, they brought him back a year later, and Lofton stayed with the Indians through 2001, a little slower than before but still a threat every time he reached base. Lofton became less effective after the “Pedro Game”, in which he completely messed up his shoulder sliding head first into first base. Since then, Lofton’s throws from the outfield have more hang time than a Chris Gardocki punt.

Lofton has also played for nearly every team in the major leagues since then and probably donned the uniform of a couple of team from Japan, Chico’s Bail Bonds, and your company’s softball team. Granted, Lofton tends to end up on playoff teams (because he does have a unique set of skills), but he’s never won that all-too elusive championship.

Naturally, the dolts in Cleveland couldn’t be happier. One of their own has come back. Carlos Baerga, if you can drag him out of whatever bar he’s hanging at these days, would love to be the third base coach, too. Get Belle out of jail, see what Kenny Hill is up to these days, convince Alvie Espinoza he’s got a little left in the tank, and golly-gee we got ourselves a full-fledged reunion, huh?

I’m not entirely down on Lofton’s acquisition because I think it means two things for certain: the Indians are going to trade Ben Francisco in a package to shore up their bullpen (or at least try), and Trot Nixon isn’t getting anywhere near a playoff roster if the team advances to the post season.

Plus, Lofton can still run, still plays decent defense, and can do more things off the bench than Nixon, injured David Dellucci, and “surfer looking dude” Jason Michaels. Lofton, if used properly, can be an asset to the team. He showed as much by getting three hits against the Twins on Friday.

Still, I’m not sure why you would give up a catching prospect (even though Victor Martinez and Kelly Shoppach would appear to give the Tribe depth at that position for the foreseeable future) for a rent-a-player, much less a rent-a-player who will sit against lefties.

(Seriously, how many guys do the Indians need on the roster to fill the corner outfielder spots? Here’s an idea, spend some money for a real outfielder and put Franklin Guitierrez, who appears ready to explode, in the other corner. Problem solved. This idea that versatility amongst corner outfielders will produce victories is laughable at best).

Catchers and third basemen are commodities these days. You would think a decent prospect at one of those positions could fetch something better (although to be fair, I could be overrating Ramirez) and more imperative to the team’s success both this year and next.

There probably isn’t a next year for Lofton; not in Cleveland, anyway. Let’s hope the third time is the charm.

Comments? Adamh164@yahoo.com