If you read Collider on any regular basis, then you know what I’m about to say is pretty rare…I don’t recommend reading the transcript below.
While the publicists reading what I just wrote are probably scratching their heads, the reason is, the words below don’t do any justice to the press conference I participated in with the stars of “My Best Friends Girl,” Dane Cook, Jason Biggs and Kate Hudson.
You see, while some press conferences are serious, and some often little in the way of quotes, some are like this one, a constant raising of the ante between everyone doing the talking.
As you’ll be able to hear by
Look, if you don’t have the time to listen, I’ve posted what they said below. But I swear it doesn’t do any justice to hearing them say it.
Anyhow, I should probably mention why I got to participate in a press conference with them. They were promoting their latest movie and it’s called “My Best Friends Girl.” Here’s the synopsis:
Smart, beautiful and headstrong, Alexis (Kate Hudson) is the girl of Dustin’s (Jason Biggs) dreams. But after only five weeks of dating, the love-struck Dustin is coming on so strong that Alexis is forced to slow things down – permanently. Devastated and desperate to get her back, Dustin turns to his best friend, Tank (Dane Cook), the rebound specialist. A master at seducing – and offending – women, Tank gets hired by freshly dumped guys to take their ex-girlfriends out on the worst date of their lives – an experience so horrible it sends them running gratefully back to their beaus.
But when Tank works his magic on Alexis, he ends up meeting the challenge of a lifetime. Alexis is the first girl who knows how to call his bluff, and Tank soon finds himself torn between his loyalty to Dustin and a strange new attraction to his best friend’s girl.
Finally, if you’d like to see some movie clips you can
Question: Dane I love how Tank is trying to use is power for good and not evil, do you think you will see copycat Tankers after this movie comes out?
Dane Cook: I’m actually teaching a class at The Learning Annex of how to be like Tank Turner. I think it’s great that you can play a character that has a bit of silliness and tone and uses his dirty deeds for good at the end. The fact that he gets to use his dastardly deeds for good was a lot of fun to play that.
Do you think those methods would work in real life?
Dane Cook: Oh certainly. There’s definitely guys that take the aggressive approach, no filter. Use lewd and lascivious behavior and get the girl man. No one wants to feel rejected. They tend to say, “What I’m doing wrong and how am….”
Kate Hudson: You guys have no idea of what your talking about.
Dane Cook: That is also true..You can just ask her, we’re fucking idiots.
(lots of laughter)
Have you ever had any dates from hell and did you ever go to prom?
Kate: Yes! I went to lots of prom. No, I didn’t. I have had a couple pretty bad dates. One date I just left before we got any food or ordered food because the guy was so deeply boring. I just thought I’d just save all of us from this and leave.
Jason Biggs: I want to meet that guy. Don’t you? Poor guy.
Kate: I think he was in banking. I’m not kidding. It was years ago. And then prom, I went to prom. When I was in high school, we’d all go together so nobody really had real dates so a bunch of us would go in a group and that was fun. I liked our prom big time. A big orgy. Oh yeah.
Dane Cook: I just stayed home and masturbated.
You guys filmed in
Kate: You mean the patriots and the red sox. Loved it.
Dane Cook: Yeah. I mean it’s my home town. I grew up in
Kate: I fell in love with it. I actually got to spend most my year there because I did another film in
Did you know each other before? Did you just meet for the first time?
Dane Cook: In the past life. I was a pharaoh and she was one of my servants. Or the other way around. It’s a blurry image.
Were you able to improvise especially being a stand up comedian?
Dane Cook: I am around funny people all my whole life. This is one of the funniest people that I’ve met. Kate is…to say she has the funny bone. She has the terminator exoskeleton version of that. She’s so good. I’m going to blow up her spot for a second here. Tremendously gifted comedic person and going toe to toe and being able to play what’s on the page which was so solid but when we had time to go off the chain a little bit, we were just able to lob it up for one another and knock them out of the park.
What was your first meeting like?
Dane Cook: It was at your house. (referring to Kate)
Kate: It was great. It was easy.
Director: I was at Kate’s house and there were a lot of people there. It was kind of hectic and there wasn’t help there so kate was busy making a cake. Baking a cake while auditioning. Reading with other actors.
Kate: Laughs…I did. I baked a blueberry turnover cake. It’s really good. It’s a great recipe.
Is it available online?
Kate: Soon. Soon it will be available online. But, yeah that’s…
Dane Cook: You know when you meet somebody and you’re already almost trying to create scenes together. Remember we talked about the scene in the strip club and you’re drunk and I’m trying to act all inappropriate. Almost immediately wer’re talking about ideas and playing it in a way. I knew we had an effinity for each other right away. I very fond of this lady. She’s such a darling.
Jason, did you actually shave your eyebrows? How did that whole scene happen?
Jason Biggs: The scene happened in the warped mind of the gentleman down here (
Jason Biggs: I was down to do it for a long time. I’ll do anything for a laugh and…
Kate: It was…Wasn’t it a matter..
Jason Biggs: This my question part of it.
(whole room begins to laugh)
Jason Biggs: So anyways. We were talking about my eyebrows. So, I was down to do. Then a few weeks leading up to it I did a little research online and there are blogs dedicated to people who accidentally or intentionally shaved an eyebrow or some other part of their body and there were horror stories. It didn’t grow back at all. It grew back somewhere else. It grew back all screwed up. It was all fucked up so I said, “Hell No!” So Howie and the other creative minds along with some great makeup artists took care of the prosthetics.
Kate: I think, my favorite was when you come to the door and the eyebrow is dripping down.
Jason Biggs: A la Marx Brothers.
Kate: A la Marx…
Jason Biggs: A la Groucho
Dane Cook: All back to another interview. I shaved my right testicle for that scene. It didn’t grow back.
Kate: Best thing I ever did!
At this point of your life what do you say keeps you fulfilled and grounded?
Kate: Obviously the easy answer is my son and my family. I mean that’s always good question especially these last few years in my life was spent with a lot of traveling and a lot of different things happen in my life and I think just keeping a real good perspective of what all of this is and umm..why we do what we do and why we love what we do and sort of taking you know and how lucky we are to do it. For me , my son especially I get these great periods of time where I can dedicate all my time to my son makes the days that I’m working eighteen hour days and I’m feeling guilty not being able to be there when all those times I want to be mother. It makes those times feel better and I can sort of get a nice balance. All and all, my family you know and remaining honest with myself and not taking myself too seriously and enjoying my life day to day and letting it’s kind of a funny world we live in today with tabloid and all I feel there’s so much negativity out there and if it like people sense that people only want to read things that either controversial or negative therefore you end up dealing with people lying about your life and having to answer to things that becomes ridiculous with an onslot of lies and you have to answer to them. That is a difficult place to live. That’s the hardest part of what we all do. And so, in order to deal with that, once again, I go back to life at home with my family, my son and my friends and the experiences I have on set with the people I get to work with on set..lucky enough to work with, it makes me feel more balanced.
Dane Cook: If you could elongate on that a little bit. (laughter erupts in the room). Can I have a written copy of that transcript.
Can you expound on working with Alec Baldwin and his sound effects?
Dane Cook: Alec Baldwin is an incredible umm I mean this guy is a tour de force when you talk about people that are generous and available and somebody you could approach and I have ideas. Arguably one of the greatest comedic characters created on television of what he’s doing right now and he made us all feel like pal around with him and come up with the best scenarios or scenarios if you’re a fucking asshole. So working with Alec was
And sound effect?
Dane Cook: Sound effect? What are you speaking about?
There’s a specific scene where he’s speaking of an explicit act he does?
Dane Cook: Oh, yes! That was one take and that’s something that doesn’t need to be talked about. When we finished that, we kind of looked at each other and thought that’s a nougat of gold. Alec Baldwin…
Jason Biggs: Or a nugget if you’re an asshole.
Have you ever been pathetic over women?
Dane Cook: I hear he’s very pathetic (referring to Jason). I’ve dated all his exes. Ah…the stories they tell me about this guy. Pathetic, oh yeah because I’m a sappy romantic.
Kate: You are actually.
Dane Cook: Umm hmm.
Kate: Getting to know this one (referring to Dane), oh the nose like, you need to get yourself together.
DC: I don’t kiss until the 40th date. I really like to take it slow. I’ll present you with a piñata with my hopes and dreams. I can’t speak for Jason but yeah I have five sisters too so everything about my upbringing was about how to treat a woman and things that girls like. The simple things to the way to their heart then ultimately to their vagina. Yeah, follow that mother fucker.
Jason Biggs: Well, I grew up with mostly women so…I grew up with a vagina. You can bypass my heart and go directly to my vagina. Did I follow up okay?
Dane Cook: That’s why you’re the best man.
Following up on vagina, in the scene where you and Dane get into the song Pop That Pussy, did you guys already know the words to the song?
Kate: Yeah, it’s 2 Live Crew.
Dane Cook: Sure.
Dane Cook: By the way, we both voted you the best hair in the room (he’s talking to one of the journalists) . Pop That Pussy! Oh my god so romantic.
What can we look forward in Bride Wars?
Dane Cook: I’ll be right back. (walks away then comes back).
Kate: You know what. I actually got to see the movie and I’m actually excited about it. I guess two girls going at it. What im most interested in the movie and how it turned out is how emotionally it’s got really a nice message and it’s about friendship and why those relationships are important in people’s lives and holding on to them and how they get us through everything. So, it’s a really and top of that it’s very funny. Annie and I had the best time with it.
Dane Cook: From the thoroughbred point of view, he was like the jockey on our back. Whipping us. He was wearing short shorts. Mr. Deutch when I first sat down with him to talk about the movie and being familiar with his film repertoire, there was an immediate synergy. The same thing happened with Jason and Kate. When I talked to Mr. Deutch over here, this would be a dream cast and is there any way to make this happen. Helped facilitate that as well. We were off to a good start from script to director to great people to work with.