DVD Review – HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL

Premiering in January of 2006, the Disney Channel original movie High School Musical was an enormous hit, at least among the kinds of people who watch original Disney Channel movies which it turns out, make up a sizable portion of the population. It went on to win an Emmy and spawn a stage musical, a sequel, a spin off, a series of books, a freaking ice show, two video games and a concert tour . The fact that the movie itself was of only of slightly higher quality than a Saved by the Bell episode featuring the music of O-Town, is immaterial. High School Musical is omni-present. The soundtrack to High School Musical was the top selling album of last year. High School Musical is bigger than The Matrix. High School Musical will not be stopped.

Andrew Seeley– Stands in for Zach Efron as male protagonist Troy Bolton, a Basketball star caught between the masculine love he feels for his fellow players and the impossibly-even-swishier love he has for musical theater.

Vanessa Anne Hudgens – Plays female protagonist Gabriella Montez, a smart capable girl who, with a little bit of Disney magic, finds the inner strength to dress to show off the goods and learns the valuable lesson that math is not for girls (See Beauty and the Beast, Ice Princess and about fifty other Disney productions for more examples of this ugly and dangerous message). Hudgens herself comes off a bit like Shakira's ass-shaking, Latina teen-sidekick but... you know... nerdy.

Ashley Tisdale – Plays Sharpay Evans, the "villain", and half of the blatantly incestuous duo that rule the school drama department. She looks a bit like they cast Britney Murphy in The Ashlee Simpson Story.

Lucas Grabeel – Plays Ryan Evans, Sharpay's twin brother and life partner. You remember during the mid-nineties when Macaulay Culkin was hanging out with Michael Jackson a lot and there was something vaguely unsavory about the whole thing but no one really mentioned anything? Well, had that relationship continued, the result would have looked something like Lucas Grabeel. He is very white and very blonde. His hats generally match either his shirt or the General's sash he likes to wear. As the concert's MC, it is kind of cute watching him try to gravel up his lilting voice like a strip club announcer.

Corbin (Sigh) Bleu - Plays Chad Danforth, the mandatory non-threateningly ethnic boy. How non-threatening? His name is Chad Danforth. He has Justin Guarini hair and proves that this style doesn't look good on attractive people either. Corbin Bleu Trivia Corner: According to his Wikipedia entry, "Everytime he records in the studio, he always takes off his Socks and Shoes and any Jewelry to feel relaxed and free into the Music."

Monique Coleman – Plays Taylor McKessie, the other smart girl who learns an important lesson about the importance of being groped by alpha-males. Of course, when the alpha-male in question is Chad (sigh) Danforth can you blame her? If she has a relatively small role in the movie, in the concert she is barely there at all, primarily providing backup dancing.

High School Musical: The Concert is set before an East High Wildcats banner, housing an enormous video screen. This, admittedly totally appropriate, set design along with the chanting and simple choreography lends the whole enterprise the feel of a very expensive pep rally. I suppose this is part of the appeal if a) You have fond memories of High School pep rallies or b) You have not been to High School yet. When not showing the Wildcats logo, the background is emblazoned with the three word title. At one point, I remember that the stupid simplicity of titles like Scary Movie and Epic Movie were meant to be funny. I am actually glad that this has lost its ironic effect, as it does simplify things. I would like to be the first to suggest that when Peter Jackson releases his adaptation of Alice Sebold's The Lovely Bones, it is renamed Dead Chick Movie, so as not to confuse people.

With the actors in place and the stage set, lets take a look at some of the performance highlights:

Stick to the Status Quo: For some reason, they didn't bring the enitre cast, many of whom have solos in this song, along on this tour. So, instead of recasting these parts, I swear to god, they just play the movie on a big screen, while the present members turn around and watch it with the audience, before singing backup for the prerecorded person on the screen.

I find this song to be a bit troubling. Within the context of the film, the lyrics, exalting the virtues of "sticking to the status quo", not rocking the boat and knowing your place are meant to represent the cultural landscape our protagonists must battle against. Taken out of that context, however, you have an auditorium full of ten year old girls chanting "No, no, no, stick to the status quo!" It is an unsettling sight. This is also, by far, the catchiest tune on the soundtrack. On more than one occasion I have found myself rhythmically muttering "Stick to the status quo". So, instead of stretching myself and writing something nice about this, I decided to stick to the status quo and pen this snarky missive.

It is good to be proud of your work and I am actually happy for Andrew. That being said, the word "Get'cha" compromises 83% of the lyrics in this song that speaks to so many people. The actual stage performance of Get'cha Head in the Game conists of the male cast members (plus one female, I assume that at first they were like all "Not a girl", but then she could like to totally sink a basket or whatever, and they all learn that girls really aren't useless. But then because it's a Disney show, she decides that she would rather wear pretty dresses) stomping around the stage and mimicking moves that they have apparently seen Jay-Z doing. Again, Corbin Bleu is called upon to provide the ethnic flavor and again he comes off about as believably "Street" as Crispin Glover.

High School Musical only features like six different songs. So, in order to pad the running time out to all of fifty seven minutes, the show features four songs from Blue and Ashley Tisdale's solo albums. Tisdale's performance is notable only how completely without note it is. Bleu, however shows such an absolute contempt for aesthetic and performance as to be striking. He pops up on stage, wearing acid washed jeans and an orange sweater with a rhinestone tiger on the front of it. Now, I understand that the teen years are confusing and so I forgive Corbin for dressing like my Nana. However, Bleu pushes my tolerance for lip synching too far. Sure there are questionable moments throughout this concert, but I am willing to go along with it, if they make any sort of effort to cover up the shenanigans. In his solo performance, Blue jumps in the air spins around throws shadow punches and really goes for broke with the kind of awkward enthusiasm I used to muster while singing along to The Bangles in my room at his age, but none of this is reflected in his amplified voice. Fortunately, before you are able to put too much thought into this, Bleu slips a bright yellow plastic Band Major's uniform over his Grammy-Sweater like a life vest, thus striking the audience dumb long enough for him to finish his last song and exit the stage. This last song, by the way, is called Marching to the Beat of my own Drum. It features synchronized drum marching.

Before I come off as too much of a cranky elitist, I will say that Ashley Tisdale and Lucas Grabeel's duets, which were the high point of the movie, are equally entertaining here. Sure, they still aren't very good, but they have an enthusiasm that is, at the very least, watchable.

The concert is shot on video and it looks like video concert footage. It is clear and you can see everything. The Dolby 5.1 sound, on the other hand, is as excellent as you should expect from a concert film.

This disk is labeled the Extreme Access Pass. In this case, Extreme Access is defined as a short documentary entitled High School Musical: On the Road. This documentary spends an unsettling amount of time inside the boy's road trailer. However, if you have always dreamed, and who hasn't, of watching Corbin Bleu eat spaghetti, you are in luck, because in this feature, he totally does. The best moments, however, come from the boys' giant black bodyguard Dave nervously trying not to be noticed glancing into the camera.

You also get a feature called U-Direct, which is supposed to let you re-cut the concert footage yourself. I couldn't get this to work. Finally, footage of the opening act Jordan Pruitt. It was during her song Teenager that I finally discovered my own tolerance for shitty teen-girl entertainment, created by middle-aged men. So in a strange way, Pruitt's performance helped me to grow as a human.

If you liked High School Musical the movie, High School Musical the video games, High School Musical the Ice show or High School Musical the Musical then this is probably right up your alley. If, however, you are not already a fan of the movie, I would be hard pressed to come up with a single good reason to see this.