FAHRENHEIT Cools Without Hanks
3/29/2008
Posted by Matt
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Frank Darabont has told MTV that Tom Hanks will no longer play the role of protagonist Guy Montag in the adaptation of Ray Bradbury's "Fahrenheit 451". Darabont explains, "I was really looking forward to working with him again but his other commitments just precluded it. He had to take a step back."
Yeah, I'll tell you what the commitment was: Hanks had to do "Angels & Demons", the prequel to "The Da Vinci Code" that's actually worse. I've actually read "Angels & Demons" and that will forever stand as one of the most shameful things I've ever done in my life. I once kicked a baby in the face* and I still feel worse about reading "Angels & Demons". Reading it, you can tell that Dan Brown is having a tiny orgasm every time he gets to use the word "hassansin" because it's the etymology of the word "assassin".
So instead of doing one of the greatest works of science fiction, Hanks will do a movie where the character seeks out words that can be read both rightside-up and upside-down (I shit you not; that's what he's seeking). He will be deathly serious in this search and have no fun whatsoever.
Some books deserved to be burned.
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