Trust is hard to come by on Game of Thrones, and the remaining Starks know this better than anyone. They should be able to trust each other, but instead Arya and Sansa are locked in a frustrating dance of sibling rivalry orchestrated by Littlefinger. While another Stark (yes, I know Jon is actually half a Targaryen) is off proving that the men in this family don’t always make the best plans, the women of Winterfell are stuck in the past. Despite all they have been through, an old dynamic rears its head.

In part this feels like a relationship breakdown for contrivance sake; there needs to be some sort of conflict up North. But instead of having Sansa and Arya team up against Littlefinger, he is instead back to his role as master manipulator. The plotting of this story has been rushed from the start, going from a sweet and awkward reunion to Arya threatening to wear Sansa’s face. It also doesn’t make much sense to have these sisters — who have both been through so much — only briefly allude to this terrible time when they first reunite, without going any deeper.

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There are non-specific references in “Beyond the Wall” to what Sansa has endured, and while I get why she doesn’t want to talk about these horrific experiences, it would definitely be to her benefit if she gave Arya some context. Or, get the Three-Eyed Raven to do it. After all, Bran instantly led with talk of Sansa’s sexual assault during her second wedding night, and he could fill in his other sister about this traumatic event.

This week is also the first time Arya hears about Sansa’s pivotal role in winning back Winterfell from the Boltons. Yet Sansa neglects to tell her that she didn’t trust Jon with the vital Knights of the Vale information — another plot contrivance to amp up the drama — and these interactions are frustrating to watch because Arya might be a little more sympathetic if she knew how hard Sansa fought for her freedom. It isn’t just a power play to get everyone to call her Lady and play out her “queen wish fulfillment.”

Instead, what we get is Arya repeatedly making vitriolic comments about how much her sister likes pretty and nice things, how she always wanted to be a queen, and that she wants to wrestle control away from Jon — in an argument that feels as rushed as it does sloppy. Pointing to how materialistic Sansa once was has Arya stuck very much in the past, as this version of her sister is nothing like the one that stands before her. Yes, Sansa in Season 1 was preoccupied with the perfect match and marrying her “beloved Joffrey,” but everything after the death of their father has been a fight for survival and escaping the nightmare version of the princess fantasy.

Arya thinks Sansa is now motivated by the desire for power, but the protection of their family home and those within its walls is her main concern. She fears this letter falling into the wrong hands because she knows just how fickle the lords can be, pointing to their wavering support of Jon to back up this observation. There’s a lot of Ned in both Stark sisters and they are unified by this bond of blood despite their very obvious differences. Visual reminders point to this and Game of Thrones costume designer Michele Clapton makes note of this in a behind the scenes post saying “Sansa’s cape, for instance, represents Ned and her desire to take on more of a leadership role at Winterfell.”

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It isn’t just Sansa who is emulating their father, and the laced brown leather jacket Arya has worn upon her return isn’t the only way she is mirroring Ned either; she’s also wearing her hair in the half up/half down Ned styling. It is one thing to both dress like their father, but they need to actually talk to each other rather than ending a conversation with not-so-veiled threats.

Yet it’s the pretty dress and fancy hair that Arya remembers about her sister when their father was executed; not her tears, pleas, and passing out, even though she recently saw a play version of this event and was clearly moved to tears when reliving this experience — including seeing Sansa’s very emotional reaction. But the writers are doubling down on Arya’s resentment, and suggest these years apart have magnified her resentment.

In King’s Landing, Sansa wore her hair in the style of the South; a style that would disappoint her mother — or so Sansa’s septa told her at the time. Instead of remembering the pain etched on Sansa’s face, Arya instead revels in pointing to Sansa’s superficiality, and the letter Littlefinger planted further reinforces Arya’s contempt for her older sister. Including the role she played in Ned’s death.

Arya even quips about how pretty Sansa’s handwriting is, yet for someone who considers themselves so savvy, she doesn’t read these words as ones her sister was forced to write (which Robb, for instance, did). No, Sansa didn’t have a knife to her throat, but she did think Ned would be spared if she did as she was asked. Sansa also notes that she was a child when this happened and Arya has very little sympathy for this line of defense. She points to Lyanna Mormont’s age — she is younger now than Sansa was then — but current times are very different, so this is a false equivalence. Arya takes the position of the audience who find it hard to trust Sansa and continue to view her as the superficial teenager, rather than looking to her growth and tough survival instincts.  

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To Arya things are very black and white; nuance doesn’t come into play, as a result of their very different educations. Sansa has been surrounded by schemers, and it’s more than hairstyle tips that she picked up from Cersei. This kind of exposure means Sansa is equipped in a way that differs from the rest of her family. She doesn’t fight with steel, but with her mind, which is why I don’t buy Sansa falling for Littlefinger’s manipulation. At least question his motives and whisperings, and of course don’t send Brienne away. The same goes for Arya and how her Faceless Man training should stop her from falling for a plan this blatant in its construction. She’s not so good at spotting the liars in Winterfell or telling Sansa where she got the letter — there's your Littlefinger trap right there. They could easily paint him into a corner. Alas.

Resentment and jealousies have always existed between these sisters, but resorting back to this dynamic when so much is at stake in the series now is disappointing. Being home doesn’t bring warm and fuzzy feelings of nostalgia; instead it seems to reinforce Arya’s disdain toward her sister with added levels of rage. (It’s also worth mentioning that Arya’s contempt for Sansa “serving” the Lannisters doesn’t take into account that time when Arya literally served as Tywin’s cupbearer).

Both sisters have experienced the twisted versions of the things they dreamed of. The princess fantasy Sansa had was far from the one she got, and Arya’s training goes way beyond being a simple knight, making her deadly with a sword and giving her a bag of tricks (or rather a bag of faces — and it isn’t surprising that Sansa is freaked out by Arya’s new special skill). It doesn’t help matters when Arya threatens Sansa with her new toy. Ned would be so disappointed, as he did jokingly warn Arya not to stab her sister way, way back when.

At the moment there is a great divide between the two; space had kept them apart and the gulf between them continues to grow now that they are together. Littlefinger is working hard to keep them at loggerheads, because if they start to trust each other then his level of control over the situation is diminished. Again, if they actually communicated with each other then they could maybe trust each other.

Childhood fantasies of being a queen or a knight is not what currently sets them apart, but rather their motivations and in their first confrontation in “Beyond the Wall” Arya says she would rather be driven by anger than fear. If they combine their skill sets and everything their traumatic experiences have taught them then the Stark sisters could be a formidable force to be reckoned with. Instead they are stuck in the behaviors of who they were a long, long time ago and this conflict is as frustrating as it is manufactured by both Littlefinger and the writers.

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