Confessions of an INDIANA JONES Virgin: Allison Watches All 4 INDIANA JONES Films for the First Time

     May 24, 2013


So here it has happened again, another strange gap in my movie knowledge has been uncovered: I’ve never seen any of the Indiana Jones movies.  Like with Star Wars, I’m not sure I have any explanation beyond that my parents aren’t that into movies, and I was busy watching a lot of TV.  And on the whole, based on my straw poll research, in my day [reaches for cane] girls weren’t really steered towards those kinds of movies; at least, before they became such huge hits.  In any case, I remedied some of this cinematic gap starting in high school, and ended up minoring in film in college.  What you may not know about many film programs though is that they tend to end their discussion of cinema around 1968 (it took so long to get to talkies in my semesters of film history that when Al Jolson spoke actual words in The Jazz Singer we clapped and wept).

In summation: what they don’t teach you, usually, in film history is about Indiana Jones.  What’s a girl to do?  I’m always looking to learn, so better late than never, right?  Hit the jump for what I already know about the films (pretty much zilch) and what I hope to accomplish with this series.

indiana-jonesBecause I spend a lot of time immersed in pop culture, I already knew the major plot points of Star Wars.  I was surprised at how much I didn’t know though as far as the real relationships among the leads, as well as the strength of Leia as female character. Plus, a couple of memes suddenly made sense (It’s a trap!)  With Indiana Jones, here’s the extent of my knowledge:

  • It stars Harrison Ford
  • He wears a hat and has a whip
  • At some point he runs from a giant boulder

… and scene.  So I’m actually really looking forward to this franchise, because if I could gain that much from Star Wars even knowing as much as I thought I did, this should be really illuminating.  I’m also curious how it holds up as an action adventure tale against today’s similar genre films (even within its own franchise — I have, like in regards to the Star Wars prequels — been told to temper my expectations about Kingdom of the Crystal Skull).  Hopefully, this may also give you guys an excuse to revisit Indy and maybe give it a fresh look. Has it held up as well as you remember?

We begin tonight, with Raiders of the Lost Ark …and look for the rest of the films all weekend.


  • cruzzercruz

    This is just depressing for a writer on a film and tv blog.

    • Ramone

      You should really read the first series she did on Star Wars. It was really cool to see the movies through the perspective of someone completely new to the films. I rewatched the first 2 Star Wars films after her reviews just because it was so much fun!

      • cruzzercruz

        I did read them, but now we’re adding the Indiana Jones trilogy, too? That’s doubly depressing.

      • Hop

        Yeah, it’s just terrible. Next we’re going to find she’s never seen anything made before 1960.

      • Sean Chandler

        Exactly. She writes for a movie/tv blog and has a minor in film, and she hadn’t seen Star Wars or any of the Indiana Jones films. She talks about being submerged in pop culture, but both of these franchises had films come out in the last 10 years.

      • cruzzercruz

        Agreed, like I’m not personally attacking her, she writes well enough, but I have a hard time taking someone seriously writing about film without the thorough understanding of the culture and history around it. I mean, did you see her first recap? She said she thought the “snakes” scene and quip felt familiar. They should, it’s one of the most famous scenes in movie history that has been homaged for decades.

  • belovedwarlord

    Just what the hell did you watch as a child growing up?

  • NathanArizona

    What’s next? Confessions of a Godfather virgin? Confessions of a Tarantino virgin? I know the girl primarily does tv, but to never have seen a single Indiana Jones movie? Just about as shocking as never seeing Star Wars before. Just about.

    • DoobieDave

      Dude. All those things would be great. Yeah it is shocking, but like she pointed out, when you’re parents don’t expose you to things you may just not see them. And she also felt as a young girl these things weren’t as directed at her and she is right. And guess what? There ARE a lot of girls(and guys) that have never seen the Godfather or a Tarantino movie. Don’t be so pretentious. It is pretty rare to get a legitimately fresh perspective on classics. She probably has never seen Raising Arizona either.

      • NathanArizona

        Confessions of a Coens Virgin! That would be cool! I wasn’t trying to be pretentious boss, just stating surprise is all. It’s like, “you’ve never drank a Pepsi? What?” It is cool to read fresh perspective, I read and appreciated all her Star Wars reviews last summer, there was no attack on the lady. I understand people may not have seen the Godfather, but as other TBers have said, this is a film site, it is surprising to hear someone has not seen the same movies this site spends lots of time talking about.

        That aside, what was your first Indy movie? What were your thoughts?

      • DoobieDave

        Oh ok, sorry…I guess the comments above yours were more pretentious and I just responded to yours. It is still surprising, you are right. So…first Indy film was Raiders. Damn near perfect film. My parents always made me close my eyes at the end though! A perfect film for a young boy, just made you want to be Indy. Gotta love that John Williams soundtrack. Indy movies are the opposite of Trek movies, the odd ones are the best!

      • NathanArizona

        No sorries brother. Raiders does stand as the best film, I think I actually saw it third in the series, I saw Temple of Doom on tv one day and then rented the other two back in the VHS days and watched them out of order. I saw Crystal Skull in theaters and, well, I wasn’t too impressed with it!

      • Farrell

        yeah but that was when she was a young girl, at a certain point she grew up and was free to watch what she wanted…and anyone writing for this website must be an avid movie fan, so why has she never seen one of the most influential film series of all time? hell, they’re on TV all the time…just flipping channels you were bound to come across it. it would be like a music journalist having never listened to a Beatles or Michael Jackson album…it’s just inexcusable.

      • James

        My wife is the same way. They never put a big focus on movies growing up. As such, she has never seen Star Wars, The Godfather, Indiana Jones, and a lot more movies. I’m slowly correcting that, though.

  • indy42

    Better late than never, I suppose.

  • HeSaidSheSaidReviewSite

    As someone who has their own amateur movie and tv review
    site, it’s depressing you have an actual job in the industry and have seen
    neither series.

    Hey Collider, hire me. I’ve seen em both! Countless times

    • Ramone

      I’m sure there’s holes in your viewing experience as well. If you’ve got your own site, you must love movies. You’d think someone in your shoes would think it’s inspiring for someone not exposed to these films–who sees them for the first time–and learns to love them.

      Sounds like you’re just bitter.

      • HeSaidSheSaidReviewSite

        It just reflects a lack of credibility by the site. I would be like hiring an art major to work at
        JP Morgan.

  • scheebles

    No offense to your film school of choice, but if they stopped at 1968 then they should lose their accreditation. Seriously. That literally only covers half of narrative film history. Polanksi, Coppola, Kubrick, Truffaut, Kieslowski, Wong-Kar Wai, and countless other directors created works after 1968 that are pertinent areas of study.

    • cruzzercruz

      It’s frankly disgusting. I studied television in college and we still watched films from every single era to understand narrative, editing, etc.

  • Ozweego

    I bet you saw all of Hugh Grant’s movies though…

  • Unicron

    The Star Wars articles were BRILLIANT, so im looking forward to your view of the 4th one nevermind the other three….should be very funny!

    The fact that you havnt seen atleast one of these films by now is also PURE HILAMITY =))

    • Hop

      Naah, they weren’t brilliant.

  • fonduewithcheddar

    I am fantastically jealous. I would give anything to experience these films again for the first time.
    Well, some of them…

  • Jake McClure

    Mine was more just poking fun. I hope it didn’t sound mean. Enjoy the movies.

  • Arthur Dent

    Raiders of the Lost Ark = One of the BEST movies ever made

  • mattritchey

    RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK – The Greatest Movie Ever. I’d say I was envious of you, but I’m happier having watched it a few thousand times over the years. Have a great time!

  •‎ tarek

    It’s like saying :I have never seen Jaws…

  • chandler Bing

    I call bullshit. No way she cant have seen Indiana Jones. At the very least she must have seen the crystal skull, considering it came out in 2008 and she has been in this field for so long. This is probably bait to increase website hits.

    • Vlaxel


    • Sean Chandler

      Good call. She writes for a movie/tv blog and has a minor in film. But she hadn’t seen any Star Wars or Indiana Jones films? Both of these series have released films in the last 10 years, and she claims to be connected to pop culture.

  • Joseph M

    Not seeing Star Wars, which every film student has to see because it impacted 70′s cinema so hard the shockwaves are still felt, was worrying but kinda cute. Not seeing Indiana Jones? Although not as groundbreaking, it’s still required viewing for anyone in film or working for a mainstream review site. This is either a traffic pull for the site or this girl is in the wrong job. Next time, say you’re revisiting a franchise you haven’t watched in a while. You’ll get more respect from this lot.

    • Ramone

      And what a lot it is–all guys nerd-cred shaming a female. Seriously, I must know 5 or 6 women who’ve never seen some of the big franchise films (BTTF, Indy or just one of the Star Wars films) and get the same shit from dues all the time. It’s no wonder they don’t want to watch them. The films we love as kids weren’t the end-all/be-all of filmmaking. I guess guys from our generation have a hard time accepting there could be anything else but that singular experience.

      • Joseph M

        Yeah, my wife was the same, but then again she wasn’t a film student and doesn’t work for a film review site. And Ramone, ‘female’? It’s 2013, you can call her a woman, I think she might prefer that. I also think she can easily handle us without you stepping in.

      • Sean Chandler

        I find it odd when when I meet women who haven’t seen these franchises.

        But this isn’t a gender thing. This is a credibility thing. She writes for a movie/tv blog and has a minor in film. The Star Wars and Indiana Jones franchises are two of the most influential series of the modern era, and both have released films in the last 10 years. They’re the work of two of the most important directors of the last 40 years, and launched the career of a legendary actor.

        If she really hasn’t seen these films, I have a really hard time taking her commentary on film seriously.

    • Derlis

      She did clearly state that she minored in film, not that she was a full-on film student. If you’ve been to college, you probably know what that means.

  • lobtaylor

    Am with the majority on this one..’How did you get this job like seriously!

  • ervin

    grow up people… she is simply lying about not watching all of those movies… it’s a cute and kinda clever way to make a spin on writing about movies

  •‎ tarek

    All my kids have watched Indiana Jones and Lord of the rings when they were 5.
    I call it the initiation.

  • Hop

    How you got a job at a major film website is beyond me. This is just wrong.

    Please stop writing these articles. Everytime I read one you and your articles go down in my opinion.

    Have you noticed that you will not see CBC’s Hannibal described on this site without the words “fantastic new drama”, or “incredible new drama” or “unmissable new show.” You shouldn’t have a huge fan write reviews for a show – Allison, no matter how bad the episode, will always give Game of Thrones or Hannibal a high ranking.

    Collider, I love your website, and I’m a regular viewer, but please fire Goldberg, and send Allison to film school.

    • Sean Chandler

      That last line was exactly what I was thinking.

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