Michael Bay’s TRANSFORMERS 3 Hits Theaters on July 1st, 2011

     October 1, 2009

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So much for needing a little down time before jumping into “Transformers 3″.  Michael Bay just announced that today is Day 1 on “Transformers 3″ and that they’re already shooting for a release date of July 1st, 2011 which would put it against Peter Berg’s “Battleship”.  If both movies hold this release dates (and I can’t imagine Universal not blinking and pushing “Battleship” to another date), then expect to see a moment in “Transformers 3″ where a Decepticon or an Autobot (whatever the non-existent logic of the story dictates) destroy a fleet of battleships.  Actually, you should just expect that anyway.

Read the full text of Michael Bay’s announcement along with my thoughts after the jump.

From his website “shootfortheedit.com“, Michael Bay said the following:

Well its official: We have a great Transformers 3 story. The release date is now July 1st 2011. Not 2012.

Today is Day One. This morning started with an ILM meeting for five hours in San Francisco. Currently I’m flying with writer Ehren Kruger to Rhode Island to talk to Hasbro about new characters.

P.S. Megan Fox, welcome back. I promise no alien robots will harm you in any way during the production of this motion picture. Please consult your Physician when working under my direction because some side effects can occur, such as mild dizziness, intense nausea, suicidal tendencies, depression, minor chest hair growth, random internal hemorrhaging and inability to sleep. As some directors may be hazardous to your health, please consult your Doctor to determine if this is right for you.

Pain and Gain is right after shooting of Trans 3.

Michael

First off, that’s classy and classic Bay continuing the feud with Megan Fox.  Oh, and I don’t believe Bay even has a story yet, let alone a good story.  If the plot description is longer than a standard text message I’ll be impressed.

Unless Spielberg comes back into play and tells Michael Bay, “No” on stupid ideas (and that’s a lot of no’s), this film will probably be even worse than “Revenge of the Fallen”.  I don’t know what Bay’s morning meeting with ILM entailed but I hope it was somewhere along the lines of, “How can we make it even more difficult to tell the difference between robots when they’re fighting?  Oh, and where are we right now vis-a-vis adding a shaft to the robot-balls from the last movie?”

Because for Michael Bay, that’s a sequel: bigger is better.  I expect “Transformers 3″ to extend its racism far beyond black people and make a concerted effort to disparage everyone except for white, heterosexual men.  But I’m glad Bay is meeting with Hasbro on Day 1 because they need to hash out the details of making an action figure with a retractable dick that can also launch missiles.

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