It's a little known fact that, when the late Beatrix Potter wrote "The Tale of Peter Rabbit" in 1902, she really wanted her friendly animal characters to throw wild house parties and make streaker jokes but conservative editors censored her ideas. Thankfully, this first trailer from Sony Pictures Animation/Columbia Pictures' Peter Rabbit restores Potter's original vision and brings the turn-of-the-century tale into contemporary times.

Seriously, what is this garbage? What echo chamber decided it would be a good idea to turn a beloved children's tale about a family of anthropomorphic rabbits and their run-ins with a grumpy farmer into a low-brow "comedy" cringe-fest? We saw this live-action/animated hybrid attempt at "modern comedy" in the 2011 mess that was Illumination Entertainment's Hop, and yet Sony learned nothing from it. Will Gluck directs from a script he wrote with Rob Lieber, with Potter getting the book credit I'm positive she'd rather not even have. The one saving grace here is that the animated animal characters look fantastic; it's just that they're soulless husks tasked with delivering flat jokes.

Peter Rabbit stars Rose Byrne, Domhnall Gleeson, Sam Neill, Daisy Ridley, Elizabeth Debicki, with Margot Robbie, and James Corden ruining the title role. I almost feel sorry for everyone else involved, but they gettin' paid. This abomination hits screens on February 9, 2018.

Check out the abysmal first trailer for Peter Rabbit below:

And here's the official synopsis:

Peter Rabbit, the mischievous and adventurous hero who has captivated generations of readers, now takes on the starring role of his own irreverent, contemporary comedy with attitude. In the film, Peter's feud with Mr. McGregor (Domhnall Gleeson) escalates to greater heights than ever before as they rival for the affections of the warm-hearted animal lover who lives next door (Rose Byrne).  James Corden voices the character of Peter with playful spirit and wild charm, with Margot Robbie, Elizabeth Debicki, and Daisy Ridley performing the voice roles of the triplets, Flopsy, Mopsy, and Cottontail.

Please let me know your thoughts in the comments because I know you have them. This looks like the hardest possible pass for me, which is a shame. Gleeson, who plays the appropriately disturbed Mr. McGregor in this thing, also turns in what looks like a measured and introspective if a bit over-dramatized role as "Winnie the Pooh" author A.A. Milne in Goodbye Christopher Robin, opening in the UK September 29th. The difference between these two tales inspired by classic children's stories are night and day; your mileage may vary.

Image via Sony Pictures Animation
Image via Sony Pictures Animation
peter-rabbit-movie-poster
Image via Sony Pictures Animation