Fellas, are you tired of getting tie after hideous tie in your Christmas stocking? Ladies, are you sick of finding poorly wrapped household appliances underneath the Christmas tree? Well, CBS Cares has some suggestions for Christmas (and Hanukkah) presents that will make you squirm. As part of their campaign to use holiday-themed PSAs to encourage health checkups, CBS aired a number of spots that took very serious and personal issues and turned them into moments of terribly-punned awkwardness. Imagine you’ve got your family gathered around the TV, watching a holiday movie of your choosing when these well-intentioned PSAs pop up and spread uneasiness throughout the house. What exactly is CBS suggesting, you ask? I don’t want to ruin the surprise, so hit the jump to get some last minute gift ideas.

If nothing else, CBS was an equal-opportunity creepifier with their PSAs. There’s one for good Christian boys and good Christian girls, as well our Jewish friends in search of gifts for Hanukkah. Check them out below:

How does one go about wrapping a Pap smear? And is it really necessary to say “schmear?” Don’t you think it’s creepy enough already? And CBS ladies, please stop alluding that prostates are “sexy,” because you’re are anatomically misinformed. I get that CBS is trying to draw attention to serious health issues, but calling them gifts that “even Santa can’t bring” or “will light her Menorah” just makes me shudder with holiday awkwardness. Do yourself a favor and take their advice to schedule the appropriate screenings, but don’t give them as gifts or you will find yourself spending the next holiday alone.

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