If I were attracted to Rosario Dawson, Variety’s report that she’s signed on to co-star in Kevin James’ upcoming comedic holocaust “The Zookeeper” would depress and infuriate me. But Dawson has never really done anything for me. I don’t think she’s ugly by any stretch of the imagination and she’s a fine actress but I don’t go ga-ga for her like a lot of my male friends.
“The Zookeeper” centers on zoo animals trying to teach the keeper their methods of dating and mating to help him win back the woman of his dreams. That has to be a ridiculously short film because here’s the lesson for most of the animal kingdom: mount and thrust. At this point, why not just make a sequel to “The Animal”? Okay, scratch that. I just gave myself night terrors simply by writing that sentence.