Scandal‘s “An Innocent Man” focused on trust, and how easily the truth can be manipulated. Olivia isn’t sure who to trust, but at least she knows better than to trust her father (something Fitz still can’t seem to figure out). Everything else is put on hold, though, while the Fitz-Olivia-Jake love triangle gets sorted out. As Abby puts it, “I’m not asking the Commander In Chief, I’m asking the married man who used to sleep with my friend what you did with the man she is currently sleeping with.” Hit the jump to find out.
In lieu of a regular recap:
[An opening montage shows Olivia fantasizing about a very sexy Jake, and a very predatory-looking Fitz. Have you seen Twin Peaks? Fitz is basically Bob in this montage. Then the only thing scarier than Bob shows up — Rowan. Liv wakes up screaming].
OLIVIA: Have you see Twin Peaks?
[Somewhere in a DC hotel room]
CYRUS: I feel alive!
MICHAEL: That’s funny, because you’ve been alive like, three times as long as I have.
CYRUS: I’m going to buy you a phone and a house and an off-shore bank account and a pool and a puppy and …
MICHAEL: Thanks but … I’m good. Just gonna read these super classified emails here.
CYRUS: What was that?
MICHAEL: (shows off his abs)
LIZZIE: Excellent …
[Meanwhile, at the White House]
ABBY: You suck as a President and a boyfriend. But mostly right now as a boyfriend. (She runs away).
[Fitz puts on his PJs, and Mellie finds him in her old spot]
FITZ: (to self) You know, I was wrong to be so mean to Mellie about the whole bathrobe-and-Uggs thing. This is pretty sweet.
MELLIE: Yeah, that whole look is so two-thousand-and-late. Be original. Do you want me to get the chef to send you up some fried chicken? BTW, the former President whose character seems loosely based on Ronald Reagan died.
[Later, Mellie thinks she can out-fake the deceased President’s widow, Bitsy]
BITSY: Sit your ass down, missy! My husband was a lazy, no-good, lying cheat. I ran this country, and no one will ever know it. Men are dogs.
MELLIE: You are my hero.
[At Olivia’s apartment, the Falcon is in the Nest]
FITZ: Your friend is a bitch. And you’re a bitch. And did you know that GamerGate is really about ethics in journalism?
OLIVIA: I can’t with you right now. I need to see Jake.
FITZ: I’m jealous and hurt and now I feel like a bitch, which is the worst thing, because only women are bitches. Let me get some advice about this first from someone who’s always proved to be really trustworthy.
[Fitz invites Rowan over for scotch]
ROWAN: Remember when I called you a “boy”? Those were the days!
FITZ: What was that?
ROWAN: Who’s a good boy? Yes? Who’s my good boy?
FITZ: Me! I am! Me!
ROWAN: Clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose, Fitzy. Jake is manipulating Olivia, can’t you see it? How is she so easily manipulated? Gosh, this Jake is a real crazy guy, isn’t he, killing everybody? No, it’s my fault, come on. It’s fine. I’ll take care of it. Who’s my good boy??
[Meanwhile, Olivia and her only two remaining Gladiators work on the case of the man who maybe once shot the now deceased ex-President)
OLIVIA: Sure, why not, business has been slow.
QUINN: Huck, quit playing games (with my heart!)
HUCK: Don’t you have like, 10,000 lockers to try and open?
AUDIENCE: Do we care though?
[Back at the White House]
LIZZIE: Mellie, hi. You’re still a Republican, aren’t you? Why don’t you help me out?
MELLIE: Nope! I stand by my man.
LIZZIE: Fine. But the real question is: who keeps the most secrets in their hair?
BITSY: … and another thing, my husband was a selfish, no-count rascal who couldn’t even read. How did he become President? I did everything!
MELLIE: This all sounds familiar.
BITSY: No one is going to remember me for a damn thing except getting crabs from an exotic tapestry!
MELLIE: You know what … I have an idea. Screw Fitz. Time to define my legacy!
[In a secret holding cell]
JAKE: Sure. But. What’s important is that I love your daughter. I mean, you entrusted her to me on a remote island, and now you want to kill me?
ROWAN: I’m a wildcard! And you need to learn some respect. “If you can’t take command, command takes you!”
JAKE: (rolls the one eye that isn’t swollen shut)
[Later, Liv comes by]
JAKE: This is all kind of your fault for wanting to come back from the island, and having a crazy and powerful ex, but I love you anyway. Since you’re never going to choose me, though, here is the info to my secret bank account, be sure my poor ma gets the cash, will ya? It’s really the least you can do. I love you. Sorry you don’t love me. It’s fine.
LIV: (eyes welling up with tears while she repeats his routing number)
[Liv confronts Fitz]
FITZ: He killed everyone and is manipulating you, can’t you see that? Anyway, we’re over. We’ll never have a chance. Unless … you think we have a chance?
FITZ: If you think we have a chance, then maybe we have a chance and maybe Jake doesn’t die? Hmmmm ….?
LIV: (sigh) Whatever, there’s hope. I guess.
[In Court. Liv plays David. The assassin plays Liv. David wins.]
LIV: “But I looked into his eyes …”
DAVID: “That’s why our judicial system isn’t based on looking into people’s eyes.”
[Final bombs dropped]
QUINN: Liv is being hunted!
HUCK: My son and I have formed a virtual kill squad through the game I planted! Everything is awesome!
FITZ: Jake … you can go to SuperMax. But that’s it! No more favors!
ABBY: Cyrus, I know about your boytoy prostitute. So stop being a dick to me.
ROWAN: YOU CAN’T POPE YOUR OWN FATHER!
OLIVIA: Watch me. [/mic drop]
Episode Rating: B
Musings and Miscellanea:
— Fitz is really the worst, but at least Jake lives to see another day.
— When Fitz called Abby “Cathy,” though … (or was it Gabby? Regardless — dick).
— I hope Liv only told Fitz there’s a chance in order to get Jake away from Rowan, because seriously, girl.
— “My husband’s only religion was screwing everything that walked” – Bitsy.
— One of the funniest things in this episode was the revelation that Michael really is going to business school.
— Huck and his son killing together was kinda sweet …
— Olivia is a target? What? Huh?