Earlier this week, Evan posted a great piece about why we at Collider will not be posting any material leaked from the cyber-attack on Sony. However, we will continue to write about the hack itself, and the cyber-terrorists have issued a new threat against movie theaters that show The Interview, a movie the terrorists believe will cause North Korea to violently retaliated and start “The War”. While what the terrorists have done to Sony is awful, these ass-clowns are pretty amusing in how they’re trying to kill a movie with threats that look like they were pulled from a rejected B-movie action script.
Their latest threat is directed at “the very time and places “The Interview” be shown, including the premiere” and references 9/11, which is some level of meta-terrorism where the terrorists are referencing a terrorist attack in order to terrorizing people into being afraid of terrorism. This is all against a movie where characters talk about “McConaughey goat-fuck.” Hit the jump for more including the terrorists’ full threat and assault on proper grammar.
Here’s the text of the threat with my comments included [via Variety]:
We will clearly show it to you at the very time and places “The Interview” be shown, including the premiere, how bitter fate those who seek fun in terror should be doomed to.
Soon all the world will see what an awful movie Sony Pictures Entertainment has made.
[And yet you were totally okay with Grown Ups 2]
The world will be full of fear.
[It isn’t already?]
Remember the 11th of September 2001.
We recommend you to keep yourself distant from the places at that time.
(If your house is nearby, you’d better leave.)
[Wait—should you leave your house if it’s nearby a theater? Or should you leave the theater and go to your house if it’s nearby? Also, I think we should be grateful that the terrorists are being considerate of people’s personal safety when it comes to attacking movie theaters.]
Whatever comes in the coming days is called by the greed of Sony Pictures Entertainment.
All the world will denounce the SONY.
[They released Jack and Jill. They’ve already been denounced by the world.]
It remains to be seen if the terrorists plan to follow through with this latest threat, or if they’ll release more documents and possibly leak The Interview online (they’ve already leaked Sony’s Annie, which opens on Friday). Either way, I hope these terrorists are brought to justice soon, but will still be able to issue their laughable edicts from prison.
Update: The Department of Homeland Security says there is no active plot against movie theaters in the United States.