Written by Nicole Pedersen
German director Uwe Boll has had a hard couple of weeks. He’s suing Billy Zane for 700,000 he says the actor owes him for the 2005 flop “BloodRayne” and then there’s that little online petition to get him to stop adapting video games for the big screen. I would almost feel sorry for Boll if he wasn’t such a dick.
Boll has called himself “the only genius in the whole fucking business,” while most movie fans call him the worst director of all time. Responding to his critics, Boll told Fear.net that he would stop making videogame films if an online petition garnered one million signatures. And thus was born www.StopUweBoll.org. As of May 7th, nearly 235,000 people have already lent their support to the “Stop Uwe Boll” cause. I have a feeling that Boll will find a way to weasel out of his agreement when the inevitable one million mark is reached, but hey! It doesn’t hurt to try!
Today the earnest folks at StopUweBoll got a big endorsement from the chewing gum industry. Stride Gum has pledged to send every petition signer a free pack of gum if the one million goal is met by May 14 – I’m not sure why the gum lobby cares that Uwe Boll is a crappy director, but free gum is good – right?
From their press release:
In an effort to protect the childhood dreams of millions of video gamers everywhere, the makers of Stride gum announced today that they are launching a special campaign supporting the efforts of StopUweBoll.org in their attempt to convince famed film director Uwe Boll to stop making video game-based films.
“Since gamers are one of our most supportive groups, we’ve been looking for ways to return the favor,” said Gary Osifchin, Stride North American Marketing Director. “And what better way is there to get gamers’ backs than by helping them rescue their cherished videogames from the clutches of Uwe Boll?”
In an effort to help boost signings, the makers of Stride have put out a special bounty. If the petition reaches the required 1 million signatures by May 14 at 5pm EDT, each signer will receive a digital coupon* for a pack of gum, downloadable on May 23, 2008, a day that could really use some long-lasting refreshment, particularly as it will see the debut of his latest videogame-based film.
“Look, it’s nothing personal against the guy. Maybe his non videogame-based films are unbelievable! But we’ve seen such intense passion for this cause that we couldn’t help but get involved,” said Osifchin. “Let the signing continue.”
Getting Uwe Boll to stop making videogame films will not be easy. The guy is his own boss, really, so only he can “fire” himself. And what are the odds? This is the man who called Michael Bay a “fucking retard.” So if you like gum and hate Uwe Boll sign the petition – or take my more passive approach: just continue to ignore all Uwe Boll films and maybe, eventually, he will take the hint and slink quietly away.