Who would win in the battle of rich white people TV shows? So we admit, this is a bit of a subjective question as it depends on what your version of, "winning" is. But we have given some thought to the various television families and postulated a few theories on the strengths and weaknesses of each clan, and offer up a few scenarios and answers. For instance who wins a battle of pure net worth? Who wins a battle of family loyalty and cohesiveness? Who wins a battle of public relations and influence on culture? You get the idea, right? So without further ado, here are some thoughts on the Roys of Succession, The Duttons of Yellowstone and 1923, The Gemstones of The Righteous Gemstones, and the Axelrods of Billions.
Who Wins Pure Net Worth?
This one is pretty easy. In the Andrew Sorkin-created Showtime drama about U.S. Attorney Chuck Rhoades (Paul Giamatti) and his unyielding quest to jam up billionaire trader Bobby Axelrod (Damien Lewis), there's a ton of money flying around almost all the time. What is Axelrods actual net worth? Well, we think it is somewhere in the low $1 to $2 billion ballpark, which makes him an interesting candidate, but also just a single bad trade or market downturn away from having that bottom line slashed significantly. Plus, he's got Rhoades biting as his ankles trying to put him away on federal insider trading charges. These factors all work against the smooth-talking trader.
The Duttons of Taylor Sheridan's hit Paramount show have the land for sure as they own almost the entire state of Montana, but can't possibly have the net worth, right? And the Gemstones have the backing of a massive mega-church and all of their followers, but it still isn't enough. In a battle of pure net worth, we think it's safe to say that Logan Roy (Brian Cox) and his crazy, entitled kiddos get the nod here. The Waystar Royco corporation itself is worth several billion dollars, and when you add on all the high-end Manhattan properties, other vacation homes, and various assets like helicopters, jets, cars and so forth, they are probably hovering around the $10 billion mark. This makes them the clear winners in this category.
Who is the Most Loyal and Cohesive Family?
This question posits that some of the most important aspects of family are trust, loyalty, and cohesiveness which develop over years of growing up around one another. Being able to depend on your parents, siblings, children and the rest of your kin can take you a lot further than just monetary wealth. So let's rule out a couple of the most obvious families from our group. The Roys have shown that they will do just about anything to leapfrog one another in pursuit of the throne at Waystar Royco. Their father, Logan, is even more cutthroat than his kids. So we will dismiss the backstabbing Roy crew right off the bat. Bobby Axelrod doesn't seem to need or want much of a family getting in the way of his quest for the all mighty dollar, so he is out.
The Gemstones are a unit, but a shady one at best. They value image and public perception over anything else. We can't choose them. Surprise! The winner here is the Dutton ranching family by a mile. The strength of their empire is the family itself and the close-knit relationships within the Dutton extended family. You mess with one Dutton, you have to answer to the whole Dutton clan. That is a daunting and dangerous proposal. Can you imagine if the Duttons were locked in a room with the Roys without lawyers, accountants, and all the other lackeys of the Succession family to sacrifice themselves for the Roys? That would be an ugly outcome for sure.
Who Wins the Battle of Influence and Public Opinion?
This one is a little bit tougher as the answer is not always as clear-cut as a bottom line or a solid family foundation. When you talk about influence, it can come in several different forms. So, again let's rule out a couple and get this category narrowed down to two families. First, Bobby Axelrod's influence is limited to Wall Street, wealthy bankers, and a select part of the 1 percent crowd, so he's out. The Duttons have the acreage, cattle, and horses, but their influence is limited to the state of Montana.
So that leaves us with the Roys and the Gemstones. The Roys own a multimedia conglomerate that is supposed to be the equivalent of something like Fox News. Their influence over what makes the news, and therefore, what is considered newsworthy makes them very heavy hitters in the area of overall influence as far as how they shape the narrative and put a spin on what's happening in the world and the cultural zeitgeist. But look out for the Gemstones in this one because you can never underestimate the power of televised evangelists and the viewership/backing they get from an enormous group of crazed religious zealots. Millions upon millions believe that whatever comes out of the mouths of Eli, Jesse, Judy, and Kelvin's mouth is the gospel itself. That kind of influence is the most powerful and dangerous of all. The Gemstones narrowly edge the Roys in this particular category.
The Overall Winner Is...
So with rogue Wall Street tycoon, Bobby Axelrod, wife, Lara, and son, Gordie failing to win any of the aforementioned categories of net worth, family cohesiveness, and influence to shape public opinion, the Billions family cannot and will not be considered the MVRWPF (The Most Valuable Rich White People Family). The Gemstones claimed the pivotal influence and public opinion category, but lack morality and cohesiveness as a unit and thus come up short of the overall award. The Roys have enormous wealth and media influence on a news-crazy culture but are the single most dysfunctional group of silver spoons to come along in quite some time. So the winner is the rich white family with the best combination of all three categories. Their unity and loyalty is far greater than the others, they have significant wealth, and they also wield a fair amount of influence over the expansive ranching and landowning communities in and around the Yellowstone Ranch and Montana. The Duttons of Yellowstone and their well-rounded qualities are enough to get them by the Roys as the winner of the least bad, mega-rich white TV family.