Ryûhei Kitamura‘s No One Lives is trying so hard to be cool, it hurts.  It is a complete and utter wreck of a screenplay that sounds like it was written by an idiotic 16-year-old boy.  The acting is abysmal, and only made worse by the fact that there are real actors put side-by-side with amateur ones.  Kitamura’s earlier film, Versus, wasn’t a great, but it at least showed some kinetic energy.  However, that kind of slick movement, or any personality beyond a generic slasher, is completely absent from his new movie.  All it has to offer is gruesome kills, and not even particularly inventive ones at that.  But hey, the protagonist is a violent psychopath in a black trench coat, so I guess that means this movie has a personality.  It’s just a personality no one wants to be around.

In a response of sorts to the 2006 film Paris, je t’aime (which in English is “Paris I Love You”) a number of horror directors have signed on to direct segments in Paris I’ll Kill You.  So far, directors attached include Joe Dante (Gremlins), Paco Plaza ([REC]), Vincenzo Natali (Splice), Xavier Gens (Hitman), and Ryuhei Kitamura (Midnight Meat Train). THR reports that the film will be produced by Darryn Welch (Night Train) and Mathieu Robinet (Flawless).  Lesser known directors that will also be helming segments include Christopher Smith, Joern Heitmann, and French duo Julien Maury and Alexandre Bustillo.

Paris, je t’aime included romantic-themed short films from directors like Alfonso Cuarón, Alexander Payne, and the Coen brothers.  That film spun off the star-studded New York, I Love You with even more directors helming segments, this time centered around New York City, and producers are currently planning films dedicated to Shanghai and Jerusalem.  Producers of Paris I’ll Kill You are pitching the film to studios with the same type of franchise-like plan, with more horror-themed films.  Personally, I think this sounds like a really cool project and can’t wait to get a first look at it.  Let’s hope this one’s successful enough to guarantee a second one.  I’d love to see today’s masters of horror team up for one truly terrifying flick.  What about you? What director’s would you like to see included in the project?

I have yet to love one Ryuhei Kitamura film, but I still like the guy and his films enough that I will continue to check out what ever he does.  You might not know the director’s name but you have probably heard of the cult horror/action film, “Versus”, which he directed back in 2000.  He has since transitioned to Hollywood after tackling one horror icon’s work with last year’s flawed but fun Clive Barker adaptation, “Midnight Meat Train”.  The director is now aiming to adapt another horror icon’s work with an adaptation of Stephen King’s short story, “Home Delivery”.  You more after the jump.