A teaser trailer/poster combo for Zookeeper is now available online.  Starring live-action contributions from Kevin James, Rosario Dawson, and Leslie Bibb the film tells the story of a zoo caretaker (James) who decides that true love is only a new job away.  While I can enjoy a good tease as much as the next guy/gal, judging solely from this teaser trailer, I can’t help but wonder if James has any lines in the film or if he simply screams, runs away from something, and eventually falls over various objects.  If not, Sony Pictures may have a hit on their hands.

In addition to the previously mentioned cast, Zookeeper also features the voice talents of Sylvester Stallone, Adam Sandler, Judd Apatow, Jon Favreau, and Cher.  The film is directed by Frank Coraci (Click) and is scheduled to hit theaters July 8th, 2011.  Hit the jump to check out both the trailer and poster as well as a synopsis for the film.

This post of early looks at film logos is dedicated to the upcoming slate of Sony.  The notable debuts include:

• Men in Black III (3D), which will bring back Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones back to the alien franchise, with Josh Brolin set to co-star as a young Agent K
• The Zookeeper, the Kevin James talking-animal comedy which features Sylvester Stallone, Adam Sandler, Jon Favreau, Judd Apatow, and Cher among others as the voices of the zoo critters
• The Smurfs, an adaptation of the comic strip/animated series which features Hank Azaria and Neil Patrick Harris among the live-action cast, while Anton Yelchin, Jonathan Winters, Katy Perry, Alan Cumming, Fred Armisen, George Lopez, and Paul Reubens will voice the Smurfs
• Spider-Man in 3D.  I think the logo speaks for itself. It’s clear they don’t know what it’ll be called yet, but it’s definitely going 3D.

One thing to note is the inclusion of the Ghostbusters logo.  It’s not a new image to the franchise, but the fact that Sony is putting it out there suggests they’re committing to making Ghostbusters 3 a reality.  It makes sense financially, but public appearances by Bill Murray have made it seem like less of a certainty.

From last night we have a slew of recently changed and freshly announced released dates to pass on.  Leading with the most telling move, Sony thinks their recent MGM acquisition, the Kevin James comedy The Zookeeper, has earned summer tentpole status [THR].  The studio pushed the release date for this talking-animal comedy from October 8th of this year to July 8, 2011, with Sony distribution president Rory Bruer remarking, “It’s got tremendous heart and soul.  And talking animals?  Gimme a break, it’s so funny.”  The animals who collectively function as Cyrano to James’s zookeeper are voiced by Sylvester Stallone, Adam Sandler, Jon Favreau, Judd Apatow, and Cher among others.

After the break, you’ll find dates for Charlie St. Cloud, The Adjustment Bureau, Catfish, Cheaters, The Night Chronicles: Devil, James Cameron Presents Sanctum 3D, Your Highness, and something called Ballers.

MGM, the studio of The Wizard of Oz, Gone with the Wind, 2001: A Space Odyssey, Singin’ in the Rain and many other classic films, is expected to be headed to the auction block where its library and logo may go to the highest bidder.  The financially troubled company will manage to hold on to Guillermo Del Toro’s adaptation of The Hobbit, but it’s pretty much anything goes for the 85-year-old company.  Hit the jump for more about who would want to own a constantly growling lion.

When I read previous log-lines for Kevin James and Rosario Dawson’s upcoming “comedy”, “The Zookeeper”, I didn’t know the animals actually talked.  I was under the impression that the premise of “animals teaching their caretaker methods of dating and mating” was to be done through body language and skillful editing.

But because the premise of having a guy like Kevin James win over a woman like Rosario Dawson through the help of zoo animals isn’t outlandish enough, the animals actually talk.  With celebrity voices.  There will come a day when we will no long be able to devise an exaggerated parody of Hollywood product and that day will most likely be the one when “The Zookeeper” hits theatres.

According to Variety, the following celebrities either need money/want to be in a film their kids can enjoy/hate you: Adam Sandler, Cher, Jon Favreau, Sylvester Stallone and Judd Apatow.  Nick Nolte, Jim Breuer, Faizon Love and Bas Rutten are also in negotations to join with Nolte voicing a gorilla.  Nolte will not be aware of his participation in the film but rather, someone will just follow him around with a tape recorder and edit accordingly.

With this soul-crushing news, the most we can hope for now is that during filming, Kevin James is eaten by one of the animals which will be by far the funniest thing James ever did in his career.

If I were attracted to Rosario Dawson, Variety’s report that she’s signed on to co-star in Kevin James’ upcoming comedic holocaust “The Zookeeper” would depress and infuriate me.  But Dawson has never really done anything for me.  I don’t think she’s ugly by any stretch of the imagination and she’s a fine actress but I don’t go ga-ga for her like a lot of my male friends.

“The Zookeeper” centers on zoo animals trying to teach the keeper their methods of dating and mating to help him win back the woman of his dreams.  That has to be a ridiculously short film because here’s the lesson for most of the animal kingdom: mount and thrust.  At this point, why not just make a sequel to “The Animal”?  Okay, scratch that.  I just gave myself night terrors simply by writing that sentence.