TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES Review

by     Posted 133 days ago

teenage-mutant-ninja-turtles-review

I loved Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles when I was a kid.  When I was six years old, I watched the animated TV series every day, and had to own every action figure and play set, including the Technodrome.  I had a favorite turtle (Raph), but I liked them all because they had distinct personalities, a sense of humor, a well-defined world, and in retrospect, the gleeful insanity we’ve come to expect from kids’ TV shows of the era.  Shredder’s boss, Krang, was an alien from another dimension who looked like talking brain inside of a robot’s tummy.  Kids went with it.

By comparison, Jonathan Liebesman‘s new live-action adaptation is nothing but apologies and excuses.  Loaded down with worthless exposition, coincidences, clichés, ham-fisted product placement, and lame jokes, the movie rarely uses its heroes for anything more than set pieces.  The 90s TV series and the new movie are both targeted at kids, but at least the Ninja Turtles of my childhood wasn’t ashamed of its existence. [Note: If you're someone who freaks out because of spoilers, don't read this review because I don't want you whining in the comments section]

The Foot Clan, a paramilitary organization bent on wreaking havoc, are running rampant in New York City.  Channel 6 News Reporter April O’Neil (Megan Fox) is looking to catch her first big break, and she thinks she’s found it when she discovers that a group of vigilantes are attempting to stop the Foot.  Upon further investigation, she discovers that the vigilantes are four six-foot, extremely muscular, talking teenage turtles who are named after Renaissance painters.  But because this is an awful, hackneyed screenplay working from the idiotic belief that every character must be related through a convoluted past, it turns out that April is connected not only to the Turtles’ origin, but also to the villain Eric Sacks (William Fichtner), a scientist who used to work alongside her father.  And in case you were nostalgic for The Amazing Spider-Man 2 and X-Men: Days of Future Past, the Turtles’ blood is special and the villain wants it.

teenage-mutant-ninja-turtles-review

When April meets (or rather, meets again; she initially doesn’t know that these were the turtles her father and Sacks were using for experiments), she stammers that they’re mutant teenage turtles who are also ninjas.  “Well,” says Donatello (Jeremy Howard), “when you put it like that, it sounds ridiculous.”  Turtles is constantly apologizing for its outlandish premise rather than just accepting and embracing the lunacy of its very title.  The series began as a comic book intended to parody gritty comics at the time.  That comic was then turned into a TV series that lost the parody and replaced it with silliness.  Liebesman’s take tries to bridge the gap between reality and imagination, and instead plummets to its death.

The film is packed with needless explanations.  Why are they called the “Foot Clan”? Because these terrorists have New York City underfoot (don’t care; didn’t ask).  Why does Shredder’s outfit look like someone vomited out tons of blades onto a samurai outfit?  Because Sacks has equipped Shredder’s samurai armor with the latest in military technology (don’t care; didn’t ask).  Why are the Turtles named after Renaissance painters?  Because the experimental program was called “Project Renaissance” (don’t care; didn’t ask).  Why do the Turtles like pizza?  Because April fed them pizza when they were little (really don’t care; why would anyone ask).

teenage-mutant-ninja-turtles-review

I do care that the Turtles are background players in their own movie.  While I understand that April is the audience surrogate and her cameraman Vern (Will Arnett) is meant to function as comic relief (and yet he doesn’t provide any laughs), people don’t show up to a Turtles movie for the humans.  They want the heroes to bounce off each other and have some fun.  But they mostly exist as fodder for action scenes and do the bare minimum required to display their characters’ personalities: Leonardo (mo-capped by Pete Ploszek; voiced by Johnny Knoxville) is responsible; Donatello is smart; Michelangelo (Noel Fisher) is a goofball; and Raphael (Alan Ritchson) is a rebel minus the wise-cracks of his previous iteration.  The movie does well at selling them as brothers, but with the exception of Michelangelo, it fails at establishing them as individuals.

If only Liebesman had put as much care put into the characters as the obnoxious product placement (the movie basically stops to have a Pizza Hut commercial), the constant exposition, and the set pieces.  Admittedly, an action scene that has the Turtles sliding down a mountainside is kind of cool, but it’s where the movie basically becomes an animated film.  And if you take away the digital Turtles’ grotesque appearances (this is what happens when there’s more focus on being “real” than being endearing), the scene could have been a nice evolution of the action featured in 2007′s animated (and easily superior) TMNT.  The action provides a brief respite from a constant slog where the Turtles are caught in a worthless mythology that makes them pawns in a much larger game.

teenage-mutant-ninja-turtles-review

I recently watched an episode of the 90s animated series, and as an adult I know it’s not amazing.  But it’s also not apologetic or self-conscious.  When Donatello single-handedly builds an inter-dimensional portal and lugs it up from the sewers to the surface, there’s no beleaguered explanation of how inter-dimensional portals work and where he found an elevator.

Rating: D

teenage-mutant-ninja-turtles-review




Like Us


Comments:

FB Comments

  • Vulcan

    “Loaded down with worthless exposition,
    coincidences, clichés, ham-fisted product placement, and lame jokes, the
    movie rarely uses its heroes for anything more than set pieces.”
    I recently re-watched the original movie (which I loved when I was a kid) and found this to be a pretty accurate description of that movie. It really wasn’t that great, we all think it is because of nostalgia, but it was critically panned at the time and they said the exact same things as this one.

    • http://www.JustPressPlay.net Lex Walker

      But with a budget of $13.5 million it did a whole lot more with a lot, lot, lot, lot, lot less. So the focus was on fun, even if it wasn’t excellent.

      This review is pretty on-point. This reboot was awful.

      Edit: Also, the original’s exposition is pretty damn good at setting up a whole lot in a 90-second scene starring a rat.

      • jay

        i recently watched the original and thought it was terrific i even thought the Jim Henson made turtle costumes were still really cool. I dont think the new turtles faces are as bad as a lot of people are saying, but i agree with Matt, they could have made them more look more endearing. Im going to see this but im not as excited about it as i once was.

      • http://www.JustPressPlay.net Lex Walker

        Those Henson costumes are still really cool. Though stiff, they’re surprisingly expressive for what they were. The humor was pretty sharp too.

      • http://www.collider.com/ DNAsplitter

        Damn right they still look good (the 1st movie at least).

      • http://www.JustPressPlay.net Lex Walker

        Yeah, when they started adding freckles/cancer spots in 2 and 3 – what the hell?

      • LEM

        The secret of the ooze? CANCER.

      • http://www.JustPressPlay.net Lex Walker

        Haha, well done.

      • Nilo Downs

        They weren’t even ninjas in the 90s movies. At least in the reboot, they knew how to keep discreet. I mean, Vanilla friggin Ice? At least most of you guys don’t even listen to rap but you like that part? As for April O’Neil, the reboot April O’Neil looked closer to April O’Neil(http://static3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130406071718/tmnt/images/2/20/2372969-mirage_april_6.jpg) The reboot foot clan looked better then the pedophile foot clan in the 90s movies! Since when does their hideout have arcade games and junk food? I liked that they was given their own personalities, especially Ralph (who was the best turtle) looked badass. And he next one they should make Casey Jones more ghetto

      • Early Edition

        Hahahahaha omg

    • doc

      That describes just about every Michael Bay movie, whether he directed or produced it.

    • doc

      That describes just about every Michael Bay movie, whether he directed or produced it.

  • http://mattedscreen.blogspot.com/ TheMattedScreen

    I was hopeful for this one, I still had fingers crossed all the way up until the reviews started coming in. Now I know “critics don’t get it” or most of them don’t, won’t, or couldn’t care less, but when the vibe is overwhelmingly negative – yeah I’ll pass. I already got burned going against the grain on Transformers 4… I don’t think I can get drunk enough to will myself to see this one. My inner 5 year old just died a little, but it needed to happen.

    • Oolie zool

      I think some are quick to compare this to the Transformers follow-ups, but I did not feel that. As mentioned above, the changes to the story kind of stink, but it doesn’t really ruin what is, IMO, an otherwise fun movie. The Turtles are still close enough to being the TMNT that I remember that I can enjoy it. The Turtles, their personalities, conflicts and interaction with each other, in addition to the fighting, is what it’s always been about for me.

      • doc

        The 19% makes me feel really good about not seeing this. It’ll be on Netflix and Redbox soon anyway.

      • http://mattedscreen.blogspot.com/ TheMattedScreen

        Oh no, yeah I agree, I only used the Transformers 4 reaction as an aggregate – by all accounts this has better, more well rounded and individualized characters than the Transformers movies ever did. If I get more solid word of mouth I’ll give it its due.

  • Jack Dennis

    this movie was expected to be trounced by critics like a transformers movie .im a huge fan of the transformers movies.transformers age of extinction got a 5 % on RT among the top critics.does anyone really think it deserved that. I sure don’t and thats why i don’t care if TMNT gets the same as I’m sure i’ll find it to be good if not great entertainment.which is all it is..i really don’t care for reviews.i understand when people recommend or not recommend a movie but to go into detail of why they did or didn’t like a movie as a JOB is ridiculous. all people need is marketing of a movie.that is what should persuade you to see a movie or not.critics don’t have some magical power that lets them have some great insight on movies.i think its better to go into a movie without much knowledge other than a trailer or commercials or poster of what you’re seeing and decide for yourself.

    • http://www.JustPressPlay.net Lex Walker

      So if a movie is great but can’t afford any TV spots or outdoor marketing, it should just be neglected? One of the major parts of a critic’s job is helping to bring light to excellent movies that get overlooked because of the advertising blitz you’re such an apparent fan of.

      • Jack Dennis

        who’s to say they are great other than you or critics?there are so many ways to market a movie other then critics reviews.what about a movie thats supposedly shitty because of reviews that can’t afford tv spots or outdoor marketing.should they be neglected because critics say so?

      • http://www.JustPressPlay.net Lex Walker

        Critics are just half of the equation and I never said they were the ONLY way to market a movie. The other half of the equation for appeal is the audience themselves. If audiences love a movie even if the critics hate it, then all the power to them. These are either blockbusters or they become cult classics a la Donnie Darko, Boondock Saints, Rocky Horror Picture Show, etc. They typically find life on home video anyways because chances are they only had a few screens (if any) upon their initial release anyways. Critics do have more experience with films than most people though, and so yes, they can usually speak better to a film’s overall quality in the subjective scope of cinema than most people. Hence their opinion has value.

      • Jack Dennis

        I agree they understand more than others, but does the general public really care for there opinion?

      • cruzzercruz

        Considering they’re employed and people read their reviews? Yes, I’d say they do. But people will see what they want regardless. There will still be a wave of people going to see this heaping pile of shit despite the fact that the critics hate it. The reviews can just prepare them.

      • http://www.JustPressPlay.net Lex Walker

        Yes, they do, but with a caveat. I think there’s a general misunderstanding about how to use the opinions of critics. Lots of people just look at the RottenTomatoes score and use that consensus as the end all be all. Really though, people should take the time, find a critic or two whose opinions lie similar to their own but who also see a wide variety of films. That way, you have a personal barometer (and one who might help you discover films you never would have considered) and you aren’t surprised when the majority of critics say one thing and you think another.

      • Jack Dennis

        I completely agree that you should find a reviewer that suits you and your opinion on movies, but a lot of critics bash movies in a nasty fashion and i find that unnecessary .

      • Jack Dennis

        I completely agree that you should find a reviewer that suits you and your opinion on movies, but a lot of critics bash movies in a nasty fashion and i find that unnecessary .

      • Django9000

        You. You clicked on whats called a “Movie Review.” If you didn’t think it warranted your attention, why click thru?
        Sure, good or bad reviews aren’t everything. But it helped the rest of us decide whether we’re seeing GotG again this weekend or not. TMNT looks like it’ll do fine whether people even see it. Pizza Hut practically guaranteed as much, so “Don’t get your panties in a bunch over bad reviews, dude!” (Said in Michaelangelo voice)

      • Django9000

        You. You clicked on whats called a “Movie Review.” If you didn’t think it warranted your attention, why click thru?
        Sure, good or bad reviews aren’t everything. But it helped the rest of us decide whether we’re seeing GotG again this weekend or not. TMNT looks like it’ll do fine whether people even see it. Pizza Hut practically guaranteed as much, so “Don’t get your panties in a bunch over bad reviews, dude!” (Said in Michaelangelo voice)

    • SadBatman

      I agree, they don’t have a magical power that gives them great insight on movies. They have a mutant power; acquired through the mutagen called “study” in the New York sewer called “college”.

      • Jack Dennis

        because people can be trained to know what a good or bad movie is?so you just see movies based on reviews and have no personal insight to what you like in a movie?you need to be told what you like?

      • http://www.JustPressPlay.net Lex Walker

        You’re just throwing straw man arguments all over the place, aren’t ya?

      • Jack Dennis

        no… I appreciate what you have to say on the topic .not putting it down.just having a discourse on critics and what they do for us.

      • http://www.JustPressPlay.net Lex Walker

        Except you asked SadBatman to defend points he never made: that critics exist to tell us what to like or that people should see movies based entirely on what’s in a review with no personal insight. And yes, people can be trained to know what a good movie is, assuming you think a movie should have good acting, good dialogue and story structure, developed characters, interesting cinematography, etc. These are elements that you can learn to gauge. What’s effective storytelling and what isn’t – this is objective, not subjective. How much you like the story or whether or not the plot elements of the story appeal to you is subjective. The latter (the kinds of stories you like) you have to determine for yourself, but once you do, you can find examples where they’re carried off well using the former (effective storytelling).

      • Jack Dennis

        I see a lot of critics who don’t look at movies objectively and bring in there own personal views to there review and it can be quite annoying.

      • cruzzercruz

        Given that they’re voicing opinions on something intangible, I’d say that all reviews are inherently subjective.

      • http://www.JustPressPlay.net Lex Walker

        ^ This. Of course reviews contain personal views.

      • SadBatman

        People can be trained to understand culturally accepted criteria for judgement, and a movie critic is usually (or, at least, should be) well-versed in these criteria. Yes it is subjective, that’s why we have critical debate. No movie is inherently good, nor inherently bad. But there is precedent for what we call a “good movie” and a “bad movie.” No one has to adhere to that precedent, but if they don’t they should have a well reasoned argument as to why. (Y’know, or just ignore the whole thing.)

      • http://www.JustPressPlay.net Lex Walker

        Except Date Movie, that was inherently evil.

      • Jack Dennis

        true.some reviewers it seems writes the review before they see a movie

      • SadBatman

        I think of that as less of a movie and more of the physical embodiment of Satan himself. Alison Hannigan is a ginger after all…

      • Jack Dennis

        excuse me?

      • http://www.JustPressPlay.net Lex Walker

        He’s talking about Date Move. Don’t see it.

      • SadBatman

        Actually i didn’t even see your pic before I typed that. So, no offense was meant. Except to Allison Hannigan. She can die.

      • Jack Dennis

        haha no worries.

      • Jack Dennis

        unfortunately I have seen the movie and I died a little bit that day.never been the same…

      • James franco

        Yeah fucking hate that female!

      • Grayden

        You are correct, however, so is Jack. A lot of reviewers (I loathe to use the term ‘critic’ in this context) express far too much of their personal bias into their reviews. I go as far as to call them “armchair critics” because a lot of them seem to have no education in film and instead praise or deride a film because it uses too much, or doesn’t use enough, of what the reviewer personally likes/dislikes in a film. It waters down the aggregate of consensus when you have a hundred guys say a movie sucked because, “..it had X element in it and I hate that in a film.”, without offering any real evidence to why beyond the bias itself.

      • SadBatman

        Maybe you’re right. Many academics refuse to call journalistic film reviewers “critics” because a reviewer is someone who simply recommends or doesn’t recommend a movie, rather than analyzing a movie through established critical forms and theory. There are a few exceptions, like Roger Ebert, but the enterprise is frequently frowned upon.

        However, what you’ve said brings up another point. If a reviewer is simply giving his/her personal opinion on a movie, one that isn’t based on study but rather experiences outside of academia, doesn’t that put him/her in the exact same position as any other person going to see that movie? So, if you find that you generally agree with a reviewer (like our esteemed Matt, here), maybe because of your similar social positions (say, a male, white, millennial who grew up watching Ninja Turtles) couldn’t it be said that that reviewer’s opinion is much more pointed to what you might feel? Certainly factors will be different for different people, but it’s possible, even likely, that one can find a trusted reviewer that will help them pick movies in which they may or may not be interested.

      • Ryan Marsh Thunder Fairweather

        Um, Wolverine Origins is inherently shitty. There is such a thing as good movies and bad movies. There is good food and then there is shitty food. Good people and there are shitty people. ET was a shitty game but Last of Us is a good (super great actually) game.

      • mattinacan

        of course they can, it’s called film school

    • ʝoe βloggs

      “i really don’t care for reviews”

      Then what are you doing here bro?

      • Jack Dennis

        I’m having a conversation on the topic of reviews.question is what are you doing here?

      • Jack Dennis

        I’m having a conversation on the topic of reviews.question is what are you doing here?

      • ʝoe βloggs

        You’re funny.
        A bit silly.
        But funny nonetheless.
        Carry on.

      • Jack Dennis

        and you’re a laugh riot…do continue

      • ʝoe βloggs

        After you…since you started the joke.

      • Jack Dennis

        I insist ladies first

      • ʝoe βloggs

        Awww…you went for it didn’t you?
        Too easy there brotha.

        I expected more…

        BTW, my initial comment was very innocuous and carried no malice. Unfortunately your dick size got in the way of a correct interpretation of intent.

        I have better things to do than argue with a kid.

        Peace out.

      • Jack Dennis

        and you’re a laugh riot…do continue

    • ʝoe βloggs

      “i really don’t care for reviews”

      Then what are you doing here bro?

    • doc

      Transformers 4 was garbage. Even Stanley Tucci couldn’t save it. Worse than Revenge of the Fallen. But’s my opinion.

    • Pop Ninjas

      “transformers age of extinction got a 5 % on RT among the top critics.does anyone really think it deserved that.”
      No. It was 2% tops.

    • Spanky

      Good lord man, not a jab at you but how old are you?

      In the real world every company is trying to trick you into giving them your hard earned money, they will flash all the razzle dazzle in your face to get whatever they can out of you

      The job of critics and reviewers of ANY product is to help the consumer make an informed decision, you may agree or disagree with them, which is why we have many that you can use to form a consensus. Sure opinions can and will be divided, but then it’s up to you as the consumer to decide what to trust and if it’s worth taking the chance

      If a company knows all it needs to do is to blow it’s whole wad on marketing to fool people, they will put majority of budget there and produce garbage, because they know all they have to do is flash the pretty lights in your face and you will pay

      Imagine buying a product that has a catchy jingle in it’s commercial, fun times watching and whistling it around the house, you will love my nuts! Taking it home and finding that it’s just garbage, you feel cheated and want your money back! In many cases you can do so, but in the case of entertainment you can not.. so what could you have done to avoid this? Well looking up on the internet for some reviews of the product, even asking others who have used it is basically your best course of action

      You are obviously taking issue here because it’s a negative review against something you have already decided you will like and go pay for, likely based on the flashy advertisements and completely ignoring the overwhelming negative response from those who have seen it, you feel bum hurt and want to speak out against the ‘haters’

      Anyone with a functioning brain knows that the transformers movies are horrible, but doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy it on some level, and for you those movies are your brain candy.. which to me is unfortunate as it helps more of these things getting made and less movies that are well made with good stories will

      But that is life and the wonderful world we live in where we all must somehow learn to get along

      • Jack Dennis

        how is that not a jab? how old are you?I don’t think you understand what I was getting at but I appreciate your candor and have to disagree with you.reviewers are people just like you and me that saw a movie and display there personal thoughts on it when they should be objective .most are not.most people like to hear from there friends or coworkers on products not some random person that thinks they know what movies should or shouldn’t be .yes I will probably like ninja turtles based on what I’ve seen through marketing and a critic will not persuade me otherwise. it could have gotten rave reviews and I still would have felt the same about the movie.good on them if they fooled me.A critic is a marketing tool that doesn’t work for the company that made the product , and most of them review movies based on there personal taste which could be done by anyone.

  • fechu1922

    i hate michael bay’s transformers and the only one i paid to see was the first one but… i will see this in the theater and decide for myself. The 90′s TMNT was also bad but i liked it so… i’ll give this one a chance.

    • mattinacan

      get your head examined

  • Guy

    It’s just brand recognition. That’s what hacks do when they know they don’t have the talent to create anything worthwhile. Buy the brand that already has a following and then it doesn’t matter how piss poor the final product is. Michael Bay is fast becoming the master of this.

    • RiddleThemThis

      You say it like Micahel Bay was the one directing it.

      • mattinacan

        mine as well have been

      • Guy

        He produced it.

  • Oolie zool

    Everyone can like or dislike what they choose, but I found the movie to be fun. I will admit that I didn’t like the changes they made to origin of the Turtles or Shredder. It’s completely pointless and a change that was made, IMO, just to be different, but the movie is still fun. The personality of the turtles still comes through and the action is still great. That’s really what TMNT has always been about to me, the atitudes of the main characters and fighting action. I honestly don’t know what people were wanting or expecting from a modern Turtles movie, but short of it being the story I’ve always known, I think it delivers and at the very least will be fun for kids because they’re not expecting to capture something that it never really had.

  • Broken Gnome

    I’m not sure if i can trust this review from the same guy who gave Guardians of the Galaxy a “B”. You hipsters are never happy with any movie.

    • DEADP00L

      Um…wow.

      ‘I’m not sure if i can trust this review from the same guy who gave
      Guardians of the Galaxy a “B”. You hipsters are never happy with any
      movie.’

      ‘You hipsters are never happy with any
      movie.”

      ‘the same guy who gave
      Guardians of the Galaxy a “B”‘

      …Megan Fox is that you?

      • alk

        I don’t want to play devil’s advocate here, but a rating of a “B” for Guardians of the Galaxy is actually pretty spot on. It’s an unapologetic B-movie with great special effects and big names. People just want to eat it up because it’s not the Avengers, and its brand is still Marvel, so they’ll put it on a pedestal and say its better than sliced bread.
        And what does being a hipster having anything to do with not liking a movie? Hipsters’s in general don’t like ANYTHING…

      • mattinacan

        also the movie is excellent and marvels best film to date by a nice margin.. so there is that.

    • Grendal Sven

      No No No, I’m sure you meant “movie snobs,” don’t give hipsters a bad name.

  • Doug_101

    This movie should have been called “April O’Neil,” because she’s the main character.

    • DEADP00L

      What April O’Neal? It was just Megan fox.

      • Doug_101

        True enough.

  • drewlicious

    But is there an explanation as to how Splinter knows martial arts in the first place? At least in the cartoon they established he was once human and that’s how he knew. Since they seem to be bending over backwards to explain everything in this thing I’m curious to see what this one could be. Also disappointing to hear Fichtner isn’t Shredder after all. It might have actually been fun to see a reliable character actor cut loose as a cartoon villain.

    • http://collider.com Matt Goldberg

      Splinter was also part of the lab experiment (I guess he was named after Renaissance painter Jimmy Splinter), and so he went in the sewers with the Turtles. One day he found a book on ninjutsu, and taught it to the Turtles.

      Not kidding.

      • DEADP00L

        I might just quit highschool and live in the sewers. I’ll emerge from them a Master of elements after finding a book on alchemy.

        On a side note, does Splinter just KNOW how to read Japanese and English(which is just priceless)? Or is it because of the MAGIC BLOOD?

      • Pernell Whitaker

        I heard you already smell like you live in the sewers, so go for it bro.

      • DEADP00L

        That’s just the smell of corpses I have a habit of making out of people.

      • Pernell Whitaker

        Cool, well maybe make using antiperspirant a more important habit.

      • DEADP00L

        But that doesn’t alarm my targets to my presence. The whole point is to let them know of my coming. It’s a chase thing for me.

      • Pernell Whitaker

        At the end of the day, it’s like my man Doughboy says; Either they don’t know, don’t show, or don’t care about what’s going on in the hood.

      • http://collider.com Matt Goldberg

        Magic blood, I assume.

      • Nilo Downs

        I self learned software programming. All from a power of a book.

      • DEADP00L

        Yeah but were you a RAT?

      • Nilo Downs

        The earlier movies never explained how the turtles learned ninjitsu

      • DEADP00L

        youve missed the point.

      • Nilo Downs

        I get it, Splinter earned martial arts from guy Shedder killed. But that was never in the series.

      • DEADP00L

        No, but nevermind.

      • Nilo Downs

        Splinter was made as a parody of Stick, the blind master of Daredevil and Elektra. In the movie he named himself Splnter because at the time of the mutation, he was either a adolescent or an adult.

  • appolox

    So how is the Shredder in this? Cool or lame?

    • http://collider.com Matt Goldberg

      He doesn’t have a personality. There’s a human under the armor, but for all intents and purposes, he’s a killer robot.

  • TURTLES FOREVER!

    The best Turtles movie is not any of the old live action movies, not the CGI movie, and not this one. The best Turtles movie is Turtles Forever. Look it up on youtube if you’ve never seen it, it’s freaking hilarious.

  • DEADP00L

    ‘Turtles are background players in their own movie’

    ^^^

    *ahem*

    AAAAAAHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!

    It’s WORSE than even what I imagined.

  • mattinacan

    is there anything lower than a D?

    • Strong Enough

      Double D’s

      • http://www.JustPressPlay.net Lex Walker

        They hang lower sure, but many would rate them higher.

  • Elisa

    So this is pretty much what I expected just from watching the trailer. This looked like another horrible interpretation of a franchise that people love. Too bad, I like the animated series.

  • DjangoBro

    I got a chance to see this yesterday and it was everything that I expected it to be…Transformers re-skinned. The movie focuses way to much on the boring humans and not enough of the main attraction (the fucking turtles). The movie was also heavily miscast, not only was Megan Fox terrible (as expected) but so was everybody else! The jokes were also made up of puns and references and it wasn’t funny. Shredder… oh my god… sorry I mean Shredder-Megatron was your typical boring villain. No personality whatsoever. Even Ronan the Accuser was a much interesting villain than this robotic Shredder. Just typing all of this is making me upset. I really wanted to like this movie but thanks to Michael Bay you get yet another lazy film. One good thing I can say about this movie is the avalanche scene and the ambush fight scene with Shredder and Splinter. But again what Matt said, take all that away and you get nothing. Even the shots were bad, do not watch this in 3D. So much fuckin shaky cam it’s ridiculous. Only when it’s a CGI fight scene you get steady shots… LAZY LAZY LAZY. Fuck you Michael Bay. 1/5 Stars

  • Gooniesmurf

    Screw you guys, I’m going home to listen to Partners In Kryme -Turtle Power.

  • Mezmero

    I am a man that can admit he was wrong,so FanBoys I appologize. Movie Snob is the new term because Goldberg gave GOTG a B when it was an A+ all the way. I don’t know why you want to be the outcast but your just not enjoying movies based on fun factor. How did they get everything right with the main characters and you don’t like it? I don’t know what to make of this review. It’s like a woman who’s says she loves her man but she had to sleep with another dude because she felt something different,knowing she can’t keep her legs closed. You were better off just telling us to decide or give it a C-. LMAO not a question of your manhood just your thought process,do watch directors cut and we don’t know?

  • Mezmero

    I am a man that can admit he was wrong,so FanBoys I appologize. Movie Snob is the new term because Goldberg gave GOTG a B when it was an A+ all the way. I don’t know why you want to be the outcast but your just not enjoying movies based on fun factor. How did they get everything right with the main characters and you don’t like it? I don’t know what to make of this review. It’s like a woman who’s says she loves her man but she had to sleep with another dude because she felt something different,knowing she can’t keep her legs closed. You were better off just telling us to decide or give it a C-. LMAO not a question of your manhood just your thought process,do watch directors cut and we don’t know?

  • ʝoe βloggs

    Michael Bay Strikes Again.
    All hail Michael Bay.
    Hooah!!!

  • ʝoe βloggs

    Michael Bay Strikes Again.
    All hail Michael Bay.
    Hooah!!!

  • frank-the-tank

    I am surprised that articles about this new TMNT movie are never referencing the current iteration of the cartoon running right now on Nickelodeon. If you have not seen it, check it out, it’s great!

  • frank-the-tank

    I am surprised that articles about this new TMNT movie are never referencing the current iteration of the cartoon running right now on Nickelodeon. If you have not seen it, check it out, it’s great!

  • Dan

    It was a 80′s animated series not a 90′s one.

  • Dan

    It was a 80′s animated series not a 90′s one.

  • http://www.beatific-design.com Beatific

    Surely this hasn’t got more product placement than Age of Extinction.

    • http://mattedscreen.blogspot.com/ TheMattedScreen

      Yeah… does it or does it not have a Victoria Secret add in it? – that’s all I want to know. At that random point in Transformers4 I almost walked out.

  • the king of comedy

    Well truth be told, I tought that phrases such as “when you put it like that it sounds ridiculous” shows that the movie accepts the lunacy of its own premise and it`s not ashamed of it but having fun with it, the action scenes were fun and I think they captured the brotherhood of the turtles and their individual personalities. Some things I hated you already pointed them out, the stupid coinsidences specially making April part of the turtles past, too much April on this movie it needed more turtles, Shredder is an iconic villain that could have been used better. Overall it`s not a good movie but I found it watchable and actually fun to spend one afternoon (of course you forget about it later), much better than the Transformers movies, and it doesn`t deserve the 14% on rotten tomatoes, but of course critics love to hate everything that involves Michael Bay

    • http://collider.com Matt Goldberg

      You know me. Always hating Michael Bay: http://collider.com/pain-gain-review/

      • the king of comedy

        Yeah.. I agree Pain and Gain is one of the best things Michael Bay has ever done, I don`t blame people who didn`t like TMNT, it wasn`t a great movie after all, I just tought it didn`t deserve such a low score in rotten tomatoes, similar and even lower than some of the Transformer movies, I tought that many critics went to this movie ready to hate it because of its Michael Bay roots,

  • milo

    So much unnecessary explanation? It sounds like the filmmakers watched all the Star Wars movies and their favorite part was midichlorians.

Click Here