I really hope everyone else can see these frequent updates on Quibi, the streaming service for The Youths where episodes run about 7-15 minutes long, and the high-profile, A-list projects it somehow keeps announcing, because the alternative is that I'm having the longest acid trip in recorded history. The latest dispatch from my own personal nightmare: Variety has revealed that a TV remake of The Fugitive is a go at the network, with Kiefer Sutherland stepping into the role of a detective on the hunt for a wrongly-accused man, played by Boyd Holbrook. The series will be directed and executive produced by Stephen Hopkins, who worked with Sutherland on the popular Fox thriller series, 24.

An official synopsis sounds largely similar to the 1993 film starring Harrison Ford and Tommy Lee Jones—which itself was based on the TV series from the 1960s—but with a few small tweaks to make sure the audience knows, like all good art in the year of our lord 2019, that the real enemy is Twitter.

When a bomb rips through the Los Angeles subway train he’s riding on, blue-collar Mike Ferro (Holbrook) just wants to make sure his wife, Allison, and 10-year-old daughter, Pearl, are safe. But the faulty evidence on the ground and “tweet-now, confirm-later” journalism paint a nightmarish picture: it looks to all the world that Mike was responsible for the heinous act. Wrongfully—and very publicly—accused, Mike must prove his innocence by uncovering the real perpetrator, before the legendary cop (Sutherland) heading the investigation can apprehend him.

Barring the reveal that Quibi is an elaborate prank orchestrated by Jared Leto in preparation to play an insane tech billionaire, the service launches on April 6, 2020. Besides The Fugitive, Quibi already has a number of big-name projects in the works, including Steven Spielberg's experimental After Dark, an Anna Kendrick comedy, an Idris Elba stunt-racing reality show, a Sophie Turner drama, and this (tragically fictional) series where Christoph Waltz hunts Liam Hemsworth for sport.