First Trailer for THE THREE MUSKETEERS

by     Posted 3 years, 270 days ago

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The first trailer for The Three Musketeers has gone online and it is a doozy. This is The Three Musketeers as only director Paul W.S. Anderson could make it.  And that way is incredibly stupid.  While I won’t hold up the 1993 version as a piece of brilliant modern cinema, it at least felt like a good, old-fashioned adventure movie that wasn’t embarrassed by its source material.  Watching the trailer for this new version try so hard to be bad-ass and cool just makes me sad.  I half-expected one of the characters to turn directly to the camera and shout, “Classic literature, motherfucker!” and then tossing a 3D book into the audience and the book explodes.  I suppose having one of the characters solemnly utter a line like “Only we can prevent the coming apocalypse,” will have to do.

Hit the jump to check out the trailer.  The film stars Logan Lerman, Milla Jovovich, Matthew Macfadyen, Ray Stevenson, Luke Evans, Mads Mikkelson, Gabriella Wilde, Juno Temple, Orlando Bloom, and Christoph Waltz.  The Three Musketeers opens in 3D on October 14th.

Click over to Apple to see the trailer in HD.

Here’s the official synopsis for The Three Musketeers:

The hot-headed young D’Artagnan (Logan Lerman) joins forces with three rogue Musketeers (Matthew MacFadyen, Luke Evans and Ray Stevenson) in this reboot of Alexandre Dumas’ story. They must stop the evil Richlieu (Christoph Waltz) and face off with Buckingham (Orlando Bloom) and the treacherous Milady (Milla Jovovich). The action adventure is given a state of the art update in 3-D.

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  • Urszula Hoscilo

    The Musketeers movies have been done to death and have become increasingly repetitious and monotonous. How many times have they made this same movie already? It’s the same story, just with different actors.

    • Rockslide

      Agreed. This is how I felt when they started discussing the film a year or so ago. The question is “why?” Why do we need yet another one. Can’t you put the same budget and time into something new?

    • tazmaniak

      Well, this is only the 4th feature film based on the Musketeers in the last 30 years, and it’s been a whole decade since the last one.I wouldn’t say they’ve been done to death.Maybe it just feels like that to you.

  • Alex–

    No, your stupid if you expect most twenty year olds to have read the three musketeers.

    I also take offense at calling Anderson stupid, shallow might be a better word.

    Your posts are getting on my nerves, I don’t come to this site to bask in bitchiness, leave that crap to Perez.

    • Muertos

      True on all counts.

    • Matt sucks

      Yes I agree as well, he brings down any “article” he writes..

    • BillMan

      agreed, matt’s such a douche. His posts make me forget why i started coming to Collider in the first place. I want Frosty to write everything.

  • Wladi

    U-B-E-R C-R-A-P …….Anderson is the new Uwe Boll….

  • dogg

    Hmmm…Matrix in a ballroom dress. Don’t think I’m ready for that.

  • Matt sucks

    Looks alright to me, always have enjoyed Anderson’s movies.

    But that’s Matt for ya, always finding something to complain about on here. I think he finds solace in it…

  • Guns Of Navarone

    Why the hell does Paul Anderson feel the need to keep turning his wife into an air-bending ninja who can drop 100 ft without break any bones, dodge bullets and break the sound barrier with her high kicks? Another fine specimen of film making from Anderson. How he keeps getting work is beyond me.

    • Guns Of Navarone

      *breaking

      • Terry

        You tell’em how to use them gerunds!

  • jesse Kellestine

    There is something wrong with Anderson’s movies, and while they aren’t all damnable, most are pretty bad, and it’s not so much ignoring source material or even the scripts really, it’s the framing of his movies…litterally the wway the movie is shot. It’s just meh, and so much attention is put on the “pay off” and “woooo pretty cool CGI sequence” rather than development. Anderson would likely be an amazing stunt/effects coordinator.

    ANYWAYS, I like the cast for the most part, but I don’t see them being able to levitate the material unfortunately.

  • Adam

    “This is The Three Musketeers as only director Paul W.S. Anderson could make it. And that way is incredibly stupid.” – nice.

  • Axford

    I actually stopped the trailer halfway through because I couldn’t take it anymore. Pretty sad Anderson can’t entertain for more than a minute. The only Anderson movies I’ll see are the Resident Evils because I’m an idiot and hoping they’ll actually make a good one, one day.

  • Alicia

    I loved Matt’s comments, pretty much sums up the impact of the trailer nicely, you know with the flying ships and Resident Evil moves in a dress…in your face!

  • RickC

    I was just going to make a comment about how funny I found Matt’s line “Classic literature MOTHER FUCKER!” but then noticed all the Anderson fan-boyism in this comment section, and thought it should be pointed out…Paul Wicked Shitty Anderson is a terrible director.

    If you like Resident Evil 1 through Umpteenth, we are all sorry for you. But what you should know is, Paul Anderson doesn’t care about you…just your money. So stop defending him like he’s your little sister.

    Also, the trailer looks completely ridiculous. Though there were a number of hot chicks in it…so I guess there is some redeeming things there as well.

  • joe kerr

    so this means alice can travel back in time too?

  • joe kerr

    and don´t worry matt, i´m with you, no one can watch a paul w.s. anderson movie and not make a remark on his unbelievable stupid way of making movies.

  • Elitist Prick

    Adapted from a concept by a guy who might have read the back of a book once, then related that concept to someone else while drunk.

  • jamais

    I’m not going to diss ANY film before I see it, but the shot with the flying ship somehow reminded me of the giant spider in Wild Wild West…

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  • Henry

    Summit needs to learn how to market their films. Who the F*c# cut’s these trailers a bunch of monkey’s? They better start learning because not every movie is a self marketable teen angst vampire flick!

  • ti

    well, it’s in 3D so it must be good…

  • christophercantos

    Christoph Waltz has said before on the Basterds press junket that he’s not worry to be typecast as the “bad guy” because he WON’T be doing roles like that over and over again. well what’s this Christoph. first with Green Hornet and then this? why accept this kind of roles when we already see a god of a performance as the bad guy in Basterds. we want to see your films because you’re in it. to be like one of those “Gary Oldman”. but if we see you keep popping up on films like this, it’s not exciting us. personally, the only Christoph Waltz film that is worth checking out and waiting for is Polanski’s follow up to the superb Ghost Writer, Carnage. those are the kinds of films that we want you to be starring with. that excites us. pleae be picky on roles.

  • Brandon

    “Classic literature, motherfucker!” LMFAO!!!

  • Steve Rudzinski

    It should be called “The Three-D Muskateers”! Huh? HUH?!

  • Brandon C

    Matt, you consistently nail these trailer evaluations. I can see what they’re trying to do, but it’s a lofty goal for such recycled material and elementary school writing.
    I’ll probably still watch it, though. Can’t help enjoying the theatre experience.

  • Alex–

    Who are these old fogeys or losers who don’ t like Anderson films?

    Sure he screwed up with Alien vs Predator but apart from that he makes great popcorn films. He is almost on the level of Michael Bay only without the shallowness and short attention span.

    I can already tell this will be the most awesome 3D film ever. (Afterlife was jawdropping)

    Although the trailer isn’t good the film isn’t stupid since it’s obviously focusing on the 3 Musketeers as legends, and a young musketeer joining them. It’s all about comradeship and heroism, a view of them as superheroes of sorts.

    Consider this the last time reply to the bitchy posts of Matt, not gonna get suckered in.

  • Marshall

    I’m sorry for those who defend Paul What the Shit? Anderson, but he does NOT in fact make good popcorn movies.

    His movies are bone-chillingly stupid, and insulting. You want good Popcorn movies? Scott Pilgrim was a great one. Want a great action flick? Look up anything made by Luc Besson – he manages to not sacrifice intelligence, story, or real emotion in favor of just having a shot where Milla flies through the air again.

    There’s nothing wrong with movies being fun – there is something wrong with a filmmaker intentionally making his movie Not Smart. Dumb and Dumber was smarter than any Paul W.S. Anderson movie, and (dare I say this) -
    Michael Bay directed more drama and pathos, more real acting, in Bad Boys II than any movie ever made by Paul W.S. Anderson. Want more?

    Citizen Kane is considered the greatest movie of all time by many (but not all) critics all over the globe. My ‘Nuff said is Anderson’s comments on an Excellent movie : “Don’t get me started on Citizen Kane. It took me five sittings to get through that so-called classic. It’s all talk, talk, talk. When you sit down to a Paul W.S. Anderson film, I guarantee you will not be bored like that.”

    I’d rather be bored than dumb as hell, Paul. Apparently, though, there are people who don’t mind that your movies are one step above Shymalan.

  • Terry

    I saw the trailer on Apple’s website last night. I couldn’t even finish watching that shit!
    It’s tacky and the characters seem self absorbed.
    FAIL!!!

  • GerryA

    This could be so bad, it’s brilliant!

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