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New Images from THE AVENGERS [Updated With High Resolution]THE TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN – PART 1 Review
by Matt Goldberg Posted:November 17th, 2011 at 3:02 pm
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I’m always surprised when I like anything Twilight-related. I’ve written at length on how I find the subtext of the movies repulsive even though I can understand how the text can be enjoyed as shallow fantasy. The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 even managed to wrap me up in that fantasy for the first half of the movie. I’m not immune to big weddings and romantic honeymoons, and the first half is filled with happiness and humor. Sadly, the second half of Breaking Dawn transforms into the mopey and idiotic drama I endured for the past three movies, but at least this time the series reached some glorious so-bad-it’s-good moments.
[Because this review is for fans of the series and they already know the plot, I'm going to go ahead with spoilers.]
The first half of Breaking Dawn – Part 1 lets the fans indulge in romantic fantasies like never before. Sure, there’s been cuddling, laying together in open fields, and enough longing gazes to fill the world’s most unbearable YouTube supercut, but this is the climax. Strangely, this was my favorite part of the movie. It felt human and there was an implicit understanding that this was fantasy, but at it was fantasy almost entirely devoid of angst. It’s the dream wedding, the dream honeymoon, and the dream loss of virginity. It’s also the only part of the movie that allows for humor. Billy Burke and Anna Kendrick remain my favorite part of these movies because they seem to be the only people who can note the absurdity of their surrounding situation (they also have terrific comic timing). The wedding and honeymoon are bolstered by director Bill Condon‘s indulgence and Guillermo Navarro‘s vibrant cinematography, both of which manage to overcome an unusually wretched score from the highly talented Carter Burwell (who has scored all of the Coen Brothers‘ movies).
But of course Jacob Black has to come along to spoil the party. The movie opens with the little shit being petulant and selfish when he receives the wedding invitation because he can’t deal with anything like a mature human being. You can argue that’s his primal nature, but like every other character, he’s never matured over the course of the series. He’s still an everlasting fountain of rage and jealousy. Even when he decides to show up at the wedding and Edward kindly gives Bella a moment with the whiny prick, he has to remind her A) Her heart will stop beating when she becomes a vampire; B) he calls her stupid when she says she and Edward are going to have sex on the honeymoon while she’s still human; and C) he violently grabs her arms and yells at her.
There has to be a better way for Jacob to express to Bella that he doesn’t want her to die, and I started to wonder: is Jacob written as a terrible human being/werewolf? There is a relatable emotion to being passed over for another guy and being kept in the friend zone for all eternity. There’s a way to express the emotions of that situation without becoming a possessive jerk and Taylor Lautner will never find it. Even if this is how Jacob acts in the books, it’s still up to the actor to generate some sort of sympathy from the audience, but Lautner can’t do it. His performance makes Jacob come off as childish, abusive, and thoughtless. Edward Cullen may be the impossibly-perfect man, but at least we can understand why Bella wants him. I remain baffled as to why she doesn’t take out a restraining order against Jacob.
When Bella and Edward go on their honeymoon, it plays like a brochure for an exotic location where rich people can go and not be bothered by anyone except the charming locals who think Edward is a demon and that he’s going to kill Bella. When Bella become a couple months pregnant in a matter of days, he asks for his cleaning lady’s ethnic wisdom in determining the cause. She doesn’t have an answer other than “Death,” and I think it was rude for the newlyweds to not say, “Thanks for the vague and ominous warning.”
The pregnancy stuff sends Breaking Dawn – Part 1 into a slide of irritating drama that plays up Jacob’s role and how he and his renegade wolves must protect Bella and the Cullens from the other members of the wolf pack because the treaty has been broken by Bella’s pregnancy. It’s a funny dichotomy because the attitude of the wolves is wild, free, primal, and savage, but they’re a stickler for rules, and I was hoping a werewolf lawyer would come along to settle the dispute. I was also hoping there would be some mention of a prophecy or some other reason why Bella getting pregnant would break the treaty, especially since the occurrence is “impossible” and no one even understands it (Edward has to use the Google—seriously).
However, there is respite from watching Lautner fail at a commanding performance and Kristen Stewart looking like death warmed over. The blessed relief comes from the awful plot points that should have been excised from the script or changed so drastically that they would be palatable to a greater audience. Instead, Condon struggles mightily and fails terribly at translating these laughably bad moments. The CGI wolves have always looked fine, but watching their actors have a telepathic conversation is breathtakingly awful. There is no reason they couldn’t transform back into humans to have their dramatic verbal confrontation.
Then there’s the moment when Edward has to use his mouth to eat through Bella’s uterus in order to free the baby. Keep in mind: there are surgical tools less than two feet away. Condon tries to mask the moment by editing Tony Scott-style to play up the intensity, but nothing changes the fact that a guy just chewed through a uterus to get to his child. The scene is made worse because it directly follows Bella’s decision to name the baby “E.J.” if it’s a boy (for “Edward Jacob”—at which point I was reminded how her boyfriends dominate her life) and Rensemee if it’s a girl because it combines her mother and mother-in-law’s names. No one says, “Well, can’t we use a compound name? Esmee-Renee? No would call a Barbara-Ann a Barbraan, because that sounds stupid like the name you just came up with.”
And yet none of this comes close to Jacob “imprinting” on the newborn Rensemee. Again, Condon tries to cover it up by quickly cutting to the teenage Rensemee because he knows like we do that this is creepy. It’s one thing for a parent to look into their eyes of their child and know that they will love and protect their baby always and forever. It’s another thing for mommy’s creepy and jealous stalker to walk into a room, gaze into a baby’s eyes, and think “You and me are lifemates.”
Twilight fans, these scenes are your fault because deep down you know they’re terrible but you want them anyway. You know there’s nothing romantic about this and that’s why Breaking Dawn is the most controversial book of the series. But these movies have been built on a foundation of never breaking or questioning the source material. The script can only reduce what’s extraneous, but never change the essential elements of the plot. Other franchises like Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings have the same mandate, but the key difference is that those plots are good and what was cut out, like Peeves the Poltergeist or Tom Bombadil, were fantastic things to remove. Because all fanbases demand adherence to their source material and Twilight is too popular to go against the wishes of that fanbase, we’re left with terrible scenes that no one enjoys except for the devoted.
If you were to take the broad thematic plot points of Breaking Dawn – Part 1, you have elements that can appeal to a wider audience. There’s technically a love story (I argue its infatuation, but whatever), a story of unrequited love, a story about beginning life as an adult, and being caught between warring tribes. But none of this will ever connect with anyone beyond Twilight‘s fanbase because these elements are smothered in idiotic material that goes beyond a simple fantasy and into a strange place where an audience’s love supersedes reason and everyone else is left to wonder why we can all enjoy a nice wedding and honeymoon, but why non-fans are the only ones laughing when a werewolf falls in love with a baby.
Rating: C-
*By the way, did they drop the vampires-sparkle-in-the-sunshine thing in Eclipse or is this the first time? Either way, they’re allowed in sunlight without fear of being “discovered” (which was the entire risk at the end of New Moon**)
**Being able to remember these things makes me sad.
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Related Links
- THE TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN – PART 1 Two-Disc Special Edition DVD/Blu-ray Available February 11th, 2012
- New Featurette for THE TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN – PART 1
- New TV Spot for THE TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN – PART 1 [Updated]
- Two New Teaser Posters for THE TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN – PART 1
- THE TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN Part 2 Gets Released November 16, 2012
having read all of the books and seen all of the films, I have to say i agree nwith you whole-heartedly. however you said “Jacob come off as childish, abusive, and thoughtless” but I want to revise that statement by saying all of the characters are like that. Thank you for mentioning Carter Burwell’s God aweful music (I hate him very much. I think they should have gotten a better composer, but everything about this series should have been better).
Boy are you in for a hell of a hard time when Breaking Dawn 2 comes out. I loved Twilight for quite some time, but there’s just no getting around how bad that movie is going to suck. I don’t even know if I’ll bother going to see it in the theater.
right on, I’m a big fan of the books but I couldn’t really tell you why I like the movies, but I still watch them with goggly eyes. Breaking Dawn was a book I f_ucking hated which is why I can read this review and nod my head in understanding. The story is so batsh_it ridiculous, but I’ll be damned if I don’t see this silly thing with a nice vodka cranberry buzz goin’ this Friday night
Lord help me for being able to answer your question.
Edward did sparkle on the mountain top in Eclipse and maybe a little in the meadow.
correct Stephanie, he did indeed sparkle in the sunlight in Eclipse…. “like diamonds”…..
So Matt didn’t like it? Wait, so does this mean it’s a good movie?
Your joke fails since he’s reviewing Twilight.
Your reviews of twilight save me from having to see the real thing… that, until the rifftrax comes out.
Thank you for your gloriously dry snark.
The fact that these movies exist make me sand, angry and twitchy in a way that I’m afraid to contemplate too deeply.
it’s not fair to say that only non-fans see how ridiculous the plot is. Half of of us twi-hards HATED the last book. why do you think twilight fanfiction is so huge? bc the last book was so horrible and disappointing.
i would have rather the director change Breaking Dawn so it could be enjoyable to the whole fanbase.
yes, that book was indeed AWFUL. I was sad to hear that they were making these into two movies and sticking to the book storyline (boo)…. I just pretend Twilight ended after Eclipse
I seek out a fanfiction story that will one day finish this story out in a good way. It was a good idea that was messed up by Breaking Dawn. I’ll see this movie one night when it is on TBS, but won’t pay money for it.
Thanks for the review; it got a good laugh in my house.
Silly as the plot may be, many of your complaints (surgical tool for example) are all explained in the books as to why they aren’t used…. Hard to argue with much else of your review though, not common for a review to have someone write it that has read the book? (done their research to avoid any misconceptions?) or is it on purpose to know as little as possible of the subject?
Its called you shouldn’t have to read the book to watch the movie adaptation.
Agreed . . . heck, every possible complaint against M Night’s Last Airbender can be answered by watching the series it was based on . . . but then again, once you watch the original series it becomes clear just how god awful the movie really was.
Yes! Yes! Yes! OMG, Breaking Dawn – Part 1 is absolutely incredible! I can’t wait for Part 2! MORE MORE MORE!!!! Don’t ever stop making Twilight movies! They’ve never been better…never! Never better! Woooo!
lol ur funy
The only thing I look forward to when another iteration of this wretched franchise comes to theaters is another amazing Rifftrax from Mike and the bots.
I really wish people like you didnt have to write reviews for this movie. I’ve never been a fan but my sisters are and I enjoy seeing the movies with them because it gets them excited and makes them happy. Yes, we all know that these aren’t contributing to the great cinema of the 21st century, you’re a genius for figuring that one out, but honestly these movies arent for us. They’re for the fanbase, and the fanbase seems to be really enjoying them (hence the $30 mil in midnight showings). They stick to the books, which is what the fans want, and theyre extremely successful. I think critics should really just leave these movies alone.
Well, you should have expected to find harsh criticism before starting to read this review, especially the writer being the notoriously snarky Matt Goldberg. Reviews aren’t meant to please fans, they’re supposed to show the author’s opinion on the matter. And they’re getting paid to do it, so it’s not like they’ll just stop because it’s going to make someone feel uncomfortable. Everyone knows Twilight isn’t good cinema. If you don’t like reading reviews for Twilight, then… don’t. It’s rather logical to me.
Iam a twilight fan only for the first book and movie. The rest is ridicolous movies and books. This review is Excactly my sentiment about twilight saga and Iam TOTALY GOT IT with your review. But still going to see the movie because iam a Robert Pattinson’s fan. Can wait for Bel Ami and Cosmopolis
For a fan of the books – the Twilight Saga (FANTASY) all the things that confuse this critic make sense. Jacob is a 16 year old boy who found he belonged to the shape shifter group in his tribe – even though he didn’t want it. The girl he loves and that he knows loves him is marrying someone else who could easily kill her by accident. Of course he’s royally upset and acts like a 16 year old boy who’s had too much to deal with in too short a period of time. The books are great and make perfect sense in the fantasy world created by Stephenie Meyer. The movies are also great and are fairly close to the books. Breaking Dawn, Part 1 is loaded with inside jokes but to understand them you have to have read the books. Additionally If the critic had read the books he would have no issue with Edward biting through the sac surrounding the baby to deliver it and then ‘change Bella’ as she had been requesting since ‘New Moon’. At the birth the available tools could cut through Bella’s skin but not through that sac. Edward saved her existence (after trying since the begining of the pregnancy to talk Bella into an abortion to save her human life.) She was a goner as a human as a result of seeing her pregnancy through. This was her choice many mothers have made.
I am so looking forward to Part 2 since I have read all the books and especially loved the conclusion.
I hope the reviewer I’m responding to listens to a friend who’s a fan of these books and movies.