April 30, 2009

update – domestic version of the trailer has been released and it’s below

Written by Matt Goldberg

“G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra” may very well be the sequel to “Team America: World Police” but without the puppets. The trailer starts off with a generic bad guy (Christopher Eccleston) launching acid missiles and one hits the Eiffel Tower and starts disintegrating it and the tower comes crashing down. The next line in the trailer is, I shit you not, someone telling the American President, “The French are pretty upset.” Best. Understatement. Ever.

Of course, the whole trailer has French subtitles (makes sense since it’s via and since I don’t speak French, perhaps the people running in terror from the falling Eiffel Tower could be screaming “We are very upset! This turn of events is unfortunate!”

[UPDATE: Now that the trailer has been updated with the domestic version, it’s still the same but without the French subtitles. I continue under the assumption that the French are “upset” about the destruction of their signature monument crashing down on Paris and killing thousands of people]

The rest of the trailer reminds me of a line from one of CHUD’s old “Hollywoodn’t” comics parodying “The Matrix Reloaded” where the following exchange takes place:

Morpheus: Ever hear of physics and gravity?

Agent: No.

Morpheus: Good.

I’m not saying that “G.I. Joe” will be a bad flick. It just may be goofy beyond all reason and there’s nothing necessarily wrong with that.

Check out the trailer below. “G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra” hits theatres on August 7th.

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