My relationship with True Blood sometimes feels a lot like Sam and Luna’s, at least in this episode. “You are so fucking annoying! I love you!” Sam snarls at her to which she replies through gritted teeth “love you, too.” Every year I swear True Blood off, and every year I come crawling back because it looks like it might finally have redeemed itself and recaptured the magic of its first season. This current, wildly uneven season has proven that there’s always going to be enough there to keep most viewers coming back, and a lot of it was on show in “Everybody Wants to Rule the World.” There was humor, drama, and some meta acknowledgement of that fact that this is all completely ridiculous. Most importantly though, we closed at least one storyline while a few others finally started coming together. Keep your heads down, tits up, and hit the jump for more on “a really stupid plan that’ll probably get you killed” (i.e. “must be Sunday!”)
The werewolf and vampire plots finally came together – along with the shifters – the moment Russell took little Emma from Martha and gave her to Steve as his pet. If Sweetie Des Arts, also known as the short-lived Dragon of Bon Temps, thought she got it bad from Luna, Russell has no idea what he is in for with the combined shit-kicking that will be headed his way courtesy of Martha and Luna. He’ll undoubtedly be taken down, but I hope I’m wrong. Sadly, in general, Russell has mostly taken a backseat this season to Salome and the Lilith junk, which is unfortunate. Salome doesn’t have half the charisma (or one-liners) of Russell, and the heavy-handedness of the religious plot slows the show down.
Not that there’s much in True Blood that’s subtle, and if there is it’s probably a mistake. The pseudo-political real-life parallels between “The Obamas” and their “fuck yeah, American humans!” rhetoric is overly simplistic at best, boring and amateurish writing at worst. It’s an interesting issue, the idea of a world where nearly everyone is magical, what does it feel like to just be a plain ole human? Except the idea isn’t taken up with any real thoughtfulness, it’s put into ridiculous scenarios involving fat women and frying pans and starving hogs. Just another day in Bon Temps!
Things are only now getting interesting regarding the impending “magical war” that will seemingly pit creature against creature (werechicken against werechicken), but with only three episodes left how in depth are things going to get? Let me predict that there will be one action sequence in the final episode where Salome and her cronies are easily taken down by Eric and an un-brainwashed Bill (what did I tell you all last week? Bill is a dolt. Even if he thought that the Lilith junk was real, couldn’t he at least let Eric and the girl from Napoleon Dynamite [a.k.a. Molly a.k.a.Tina Majorino] go? Oh wait, he has no loyalty. Also, he saw Sookie in the same vision as when he saw Lilith. Does that mean Sookie is a goddess who has claimed him as the Chosen One? Um no Bill, get your head out of your ass). At best though, the “war” will be pushed back to the next season, when real alliances can be formed and serious stakes can be raised.
As for “Everybody Wants to Rule the World,” it still felt fractured, but it also actually moved. As for the missteps, the Sheriff Dearborne stuff all happened way too fast and was far too obvious (why bring him back in the episode where a dragon is mentioned except – wait – he’s involved! Again, that subtlety thing). But the best bit was most certainly that Patrick and the Ifrit were laid to rest. If there wasn’t anyone shouting for Patrick to shut up and bleed out by that point just be to be done with that story, I would be surprised.
The good stuff from the episode included pieces of the show that felt like early True Blood. Lafayette is back to being his sassy self, Sookie is in her room trying to uncover mysteries in an oversized cat shirt from Wal-Mart, Tara and Pam exchange the best lines of the episode (of course) and Fangtasia became relevant again. There was even a little full-frontal male nudity thrown in, just for kicks!
In the end, “Everybody Wants to Rule the World” has set up some great tension for the final three episodes of this season, with Bill and Eric fighting against each other (or Eric knocking some sense into him) and Sookie and the others gearing up for war. Let’s hope the final episodes actually follow-through.
Musings and Miscellanea:
— John Rezig as Deputy Ellis slays every scene he’s in. According to IMDB he’s from Fort Wayne, Indiana, but I want to know more about this accent he’s affected.
— Pam: “That doesn’t make us Oprah and Gayle.” Tara: “Suck it, vampire Barbie.”
— Oh goodness, Alcide’s man-pain set to classic rock was almost too much for me. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Him teaming up with Papa may make for some fun, though.
— “I am not Whoopi Goldberg in Ghost. I am way cuter.” – Lafayette
— Sam and Luna actually using their powers proactively was great – the flies as well as the pig rescue were nice little moments.
— Did anyone else find it weirdly funny how no one noticed that Hoyt was being quietly eaten by hogs until a drugged-up Sookie pointed it out?
— “I am not Gmail for dead bitches!” – Lafayette
— Why are dead people always so cryptic?
— Also, Lafayette never takes his medium abilities seriously, but something always ends up happening with it. You would think he would learn.
— I love that Eric’s perma-face now is simply “oh my God, I am surrounded by idiots.” You are, sir, you certainly are.
— Not gonna lie, I would love to have my fairie family just drop in anytime and bring me soup and give me the news of the day. Or maybe just Claude. But I still want the soup.