Hey there, Trubies! Your regularly-scheduled reviewer of True Blood couldn’t be here tonight as she has been snatched up by the LAVTF. Rest assured, I’m all caught up on this season and ready to review tonight’s episode, “Fuck the Pain Away.” With a name like that, you’d probably expect there to be a lot of fucking and a lessening of pain. What we got was the inverse of that assumption (though the end-credits song does a better job at explaining the reason behind the title). Tonight’s episode featured a few surprising twists in the season’s major plot arcs so far, while the subplots continue to meander through the woods or just veer off into altogether strange territory. Hit the jump for my recap where I will attempt to explain the scientific value of Vamp Camp.
The intro of tonight’s episode picked up exactly where last week left off, with Sookie taking Warlow to task for his string of lies and the death of her parents. While it turns out that her fairy blasts have about as much effect on him as colloidal silver in the fried chicken, we do find that Warlow has a soft spot for Sookie. Turns out he wasn’t just promised to possess her as property, she was to be his intended, his princess, his immortal beloved. Too bad Sookie’s heard a lot of supes claim their love for her before; she’s not having it this time around. The only thing more surprising than Warlow’s claim that Sookie’s parents were about to kill her when Warlow attacked them, was the arrival of “I don’t need no invitation” Billith, who – get this – is actually Warlow’s maker! Cue theme music!
Now let’s chase Warlow and Billith down the rabbit hole into the far-flung past of 3500 BC. It was a time when fae roamed freely through the countryside and naked vampire goddesses were fond of a moonlit rape along the lakeshore. Ah, the good old days. And thus, Warlow was born as the one destined to save vampire kind, only to return to his village four years later, slaughter his friends and family, leave a young Niall amidst the blood-soaked ruins and then return to set Lillith ablaze in a beam of sunlight. No wonder the guy’s fucked up and wants to exterminate the entire race of vampires. Which brings us to…
Vamp Camp! Have a ball! Get your free jumpsuit! After Pam was taken into custody by the LAVTF, Eric and Tara surrendered to them in order to seek her out. Pam’s tour of the facility included numerous scientific experiments being performed on the vamps, including one room for “copulation studies.” Right. (That’s #2 on our sex count.) Pam actually seemed to enjoy her stay as a therapist (played by Pruitt Taylor Vince) listened intently to her every word. (The live donor didn’t hurt, either.) The bad blood between Pam and her maker Eric will presumably out next week, as this episode left us with a cliffhanger pitting the two against each other in a battle of stakes. Perhaps they’ll have a heart to heart. (I slay myself sometimes!)
Other musings from the Vamp Camp: Jessica, high as shit after draining four fairy girls (more on them in a moment), goes from Bill’s house to Jason’s to Vamp Camp, freaking out the whole time until Tara calms her down and the two run into a female prison boss (Karolina Wydra); newly-turned progeny Willa Burrell may enjoy VIP status at the camp, but is also subject to sexual abuse from her own guards; Steve Newlin also pops up here, and Eric has more trouble making friends. Poor guy.
Back in the outside world, Alcide and Papa Jackson continue to track down Sam, but to no avail. After a falling out between the wolves, Papa licks his wounds with some random fur-banger/bitch (used in the literal sense, thank you) which makes #3 on our sex count. He also happens to see the fugitives in question but we’re left dangling as to just what he’ll do about it. This arc comes off as a strange departure for Alcide’s character, though I get that they’re trying to show that the power of being a packmaster has already gone to his head. I guess the writers just didn’t know what else to do with all of the combined shifter characters? They also apparently don’t know what to do with the beleaguered Bellefleurs.
While Andy Bellefleur (who is one of the best characters on the show) shows real grief at the loss of three of his daughters, he also shows a rare bit of restraint for this show, thanks to Holly’s advice. It remains to be seen if this plot point will be left by the wayside or if Andy will search out some vengeance against Bill and Jessica in the future. Terry Bellefleur, on the other hand, continues to wear the crazy pants in the family. Need more evidence? He has hired one of his war buddies (Gideon Emery) to assassinate him at some point in the near future because of a death wish over the grief of killing Patrick in order to placate the Ifrit last season. Yup.
When it all comes down to it, this show is about Sookie. Unfortunately, while tonight’s episode started off in a promising manner with Sookie taking control of the Warlow situation, all power was once again wrested from her grip and she ended up being taken (literally) along for a ride the rest of the show. Sookie was wholly ignored until the last few minutes when she and Lafayette contact her parents’ spirits in order to find out if they really planned on killing her that fateful night. Pro tip: Nothing ever goes well when Lafayette contacts spirits, even if he’s gotten it down a science by this point. Well … mostly. It’s the possession part he has to get a handle on as the spirit of Corbett Stackhouse is currently in control of Lafayette’s body and is about to drown (or baptise?) Sookie in the river. It was a nice attempt at tying in Sookie’s talk with Jason that their parents weren’t perfect, but I don’t buy the fact that Granny Adele would have been okay with it.
All in all, the majority of this episode actually made a surprising amount of narrative sense for this series and threw in some wild turns that I didn’t see coming. Not mind-blowing, but a good sign of things to come.
Episode Rating: B-
- Lest we not forget the sexual reunion of Jason Stackhouse and Sarah Newlin, making #4 on our sex count!
- “Care to explain the scientific value of this?” – Pam
- “When a woman comes to you in black lingerie, you unwrap her!” – Sarah Newlin
- After the death/resurrection of the Gov’s daughter as a vampire, Sarah gets the baby-crazies. Ain’t that always the way?
- True Blood goes primitive with a flashback that rivals Lost for longest jump in time.
- “I’ve got a new man, a powerful man.” – Sarah Newlin “I guess that’s good because Steve turned out to be a gay vampire.” – Jason
- “You always seem like a nice lady … behind the crazy and the hate.” – Jason to Sarah
- “I truly believe God wants me to fuck you.” – Sarah to Jason
- Meanwhile, at the Unfriendly Possum…
- “My body is a fuckin’ temple and you have defiled it with your vampire-lovin’ pecker!” – Sarah to Jason
- “Kinda like, ‘I scratch your back, you like my balls.'” – a skeevy Vamp Camp guard to Willa
- “Stackhouses! Calm the fuck down!” – Lafayette to the Stackhouse family ghosts
- “I’m yo daddy, Sookie!” – possessed Lafayette
- So apparently Warlow offered Sookie immortality and life-long protection but Corbett thought, “Nope! Time to dose her up on NyQuil and drown her in the river!”
- “Your gay vampire ex … that’s my surprise?” – Gov. Burrell to Sarah
- “Haven’t you seen Gladiator? Fuckin’ fight!” – Sarah to Eric and Pam
- Jason’s joining the LAVTF. What could possibly go wrong?