Twisted Pictures Goes From SAW to TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE

You know what the problem is with the “Saw” franchise (aside from plot, characters, imagination, scares, thought, budget, logic, freshness, and a lack of anything else of value)?  A saw is not a power tool.  Sure, it hurts a lot to saw off a limb with a hacksaw, but it’s also really time consuming.  You can cause twice the destruction in half the time with a chainsaw.  With that in mind, Twisted Pictures, the owners of the “Saw” franchise, are closing in on adding the “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” franchise to its horror show.  Hit the jump for more details, not only about this story, but more details than you would ever get in a “Saw” movie.

Variety reports that Twisted Pictures is in talks to partner with Lionsgate (who is also their financier/distributor for the “Saw” franchise) to buy the rights for “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre”.  For those that don’t know, “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” was released in 1974 and directed by Tobe Hooper.  I would explain the plot but the title pretty much does it for me.  All you need to know is that the central antagonist is Leatherface, he’s not really a “people-person”, and he’s got a crazy family who would be just perfect for a network sitcom.

The plan would be to bring the story to the modern day and put it in 3D because horror is no good if it’s not in 3D.  While I’m sad to see the franchise leave the talented folks over at Platinum Dunes, those guys will be alright with their Freddy and Jason franchises.  Leatherface is a better fit for Twisted anyway since they don’t even have to pretend at being clever in their horror but could just make a movie of people on a conveyor belt and Leatherface doing his thing for 90 minutes.  But it’s gotta be in 3D or else it won’t work.