Vampires are the new Wizards

     August 15, 2008

Written by Cal Kemp

There’s one thing I know about “Twilight” fans and that’s that they creep the Hell out of me. Maybe it was the one that managed to get herself arrested at ComicCon for — I’m not sure, rumors vary — anything from sneaking into a panel uninvited or trying to deliver one of the actors a jar full of blood. Let’s spread that latter one.

Hollywood Reporter has the word that “Twilight” has jumped on the date recently abdicated by “The Half Blood Prince” and will now screen to megabucks on November 21st.

I took the journalistic approach of researching the books by having a brief AIM conversation with my much, much younger sister who seems to eat up that sort of shit. I tried to tell her that, if she wants to learn about vampires she need look further than “Near Dark” but she’s been taken in by the “Twilight”-masses.

“I bet you don’t even know what happens to a vampire in sunlight,” she said to me.

“They die,” I shot back.

“No,” she said, “They sparkle.”

Seriously. What the Hell are they teaching kids these days? Personally, I blame J.K. Rowling for both abandoning November and for encouraging kids to read in the first place.

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