Traveling is a bitch. Seats are getting smaller, prices are getting higher and waits are getting longer. You hustle to the airport, trudge through security, and spend hours in an overcrowded terminal with nothing but hundreds of grumpy travelers and overpriced food before cramming yourself in a metal tube with nothing but hundreds of grumpy travelers and overpriced food. There is, however, a saving grace: Glorious inflight entertainment. Nothing makes the time pass on an interminable flight like a few good movies, but there are some films you should never watch on a plane no matter how bored you get.

I travel pretty regularly for this job, and if there's one thing I've learned, it's that the whole ordeal goes a lot better when we make an effort to be considerate to the people around us. This takes a lot of forms - don't get shitfaced wasted, no manspreading, only one bag in the overhead, and don't watch movies that will obviously upset the people around you. So, what puts a movie on the no-fly list? Graphic violence, raunchy sex and, of course, depictions of horrifying plane crashes, among other things. Basically, anything like what’s on the list below.

The Grey

See also: Flight, Final Destination

Let’s get the obvious out of the way. Lots of people are terrified of flying. Aviophobia affects anywhere between 20-40% of the population depending on which study you look at. These fine folks muster up their courage, finally get seated on the flight, take their Xanax if they’ve got a cool doctor, and make it through takeoff. The last thing they want to see is a hyper-realistic depiction of their worst fear brought to life. There are certain unspoken agreements on a flight: Don’t kick the seat in front of you; don’t say “bomb”; and don’t watch movies that are going to scare the hell out of your co-passengers. On that note…

Martyrs

See also: Inside, Cannibal Holocaust, The Hills Have Eyes

Martyrs is exceptionally violent, and constantly pushes the boundaries of on-screen brutality. How violent? Here’s a little anecdote: Back in college I used to date a very vanilla Midwestern fella who didn’t care much for horror films; no, not at all. As you do in relationships, I would tolerate his family-friendly romcoms from time to time and he would sit through my video nasties in return – until Martyrs came along. On a bright and sunny summer afternoon, we picked up a copy of the infamous French-Canadian film. Within fifteen minutes of hitting play, he was a mess – ashen, peaked and just generally freaked the fuck out – and this in the full light of day. We never made it to minute sixteen. Don’t inflict that terror upon strangers.

Last Tango in Paris

See also: Nymphomaniac, Blue is the Warmest Color

You know what else makes some people super uncomfortable? Explicit sex. Look, the violence vs. sexuality debate is old hat at this point, and personally, I believe we need to relax our too-often puritanical ways when it comes to sex in cinema, but odds are some of the other folks on board – say, the 80-year old Bemidji county clerk, or the single mom with a six-year-old, or who knows, maybe there’s a freaking priest behind you – don’t feel the same. Let’s not get any purer minds all hot and bothered. Plus, how uncomfortable do you want to be? It’s kind of like watching a sex-scene with your parents…and a bunch of judgy strangers.

American Psycho

See also: Oldboy

American Psycho is one of my all-time favorite films, and I think at this point in the onslaught of Suicide Squad tweets most of us are pretty keen to see Jared Leto get an ax through the head. Even so, this one goes on the no-watch list. It’s a perfect storm. Graphic violence, explicit sex scenes, prostitution and rampant drug use—you’re pretty much guaranteed to offend someone’s sensibilities, if not a whole bunch of people at once.

The Counselor

See also: THE COUNSELOR. It must be stressed again.

Another perfect storm. This is the movie that started it all. The violent, lecherous little ditty that made me realize some films just aren’t meant to be watched on a flight. Unknowing, on a flight home from Toronto last year, I decided to check out the weird Cormac McCarthy/Ridley Scott duet I’d heard so much about, and what ensued was an utterly mortifying 120 minutes. The film kicks off with a prolonged oral sex scene – great. But before I realized what I was getting myself into, the cunnilingus was over, and the bizarre, off-tempo dialogue whisked me away…until Cameron Diaz started fucking a car. If I were a better person, I would have jolted out of my seat to stop the movie the instant that began, but as it happened, I was transfixed, horrified, maybe a little broken inside. I have no idea why this was even an in-flight option, but I emerged a better person, even if my sex life is permanently ruined, and swore never again to plane-watch a film that would bestow such injuries upon me and my seatmates.

Antichrist

See Also: Pretty much anything by Lars Von Trier.

The name is a dead giveaway. Lewd sex? Check. Disturbing Violence? Check. Antichrist opens with an extreme slow-motion, explicitly detailed, minutes-long sex scene with a particular shot that borders on pornography. Do I really need to say porn is a no-go on planes? If that’s not enough, here are some other grisly sights no one wants to be subjected to on a flight – a close up of an erect penis ejaculating blood, a close up of genital mutilation, aggressive masturbation, an animal eating it’s own entrails. I mean, really, just don’t.

The Fault in Our Stars

See also: Terms of Endearment, Me Before You, Sophie’s Choice, Me and Earl and the Dying Girl

Obviously a much tamer option than the last few, but still a bad idea. This was a really popular choice on international flights towards the end of last year, and I have to say, I was baffled. Maybe I’m emotionally repressed, but I can think of few worse places to have an all-out cryfest than suspended in a silent metal cylinder, surrounded by hundreds of strangers. Maybe save this one for the comfort of your own home, where there’s an endless supply of tissues and no one cringing from your heaving sobs.

Gravity

See Also: Interstellar

This isn’t for the people around you. This one’s for you. And the movie. Some films are meant to be seen on the big screen – or at the very least, they’re not meant to be watched on a 3″ x 3″ pixelated screen with the light shining in from your neighbor’s window. When Gravity was a popular inflight entertainment option, I would look up the aisle of the airplane to see fifty tiny little Sandra Bullocks spinning in space and wonder – what are you getting out of this? Gravity is a film you experience. Awe is a huge factor in that experience. It’s a straight-shot thrill ride carried by visuals and sound. It’s a film that functions through immersion, and it’s pretty hard to be immersed when the movie is constantly interrupted by announcements reminding you to fasten your seatbelt.

United 93

See also: 12 Years a Slave

The #1 absolutely, never, do-not-watch-on-a-plane movie. Not only are you guaranteed to be an emotional wreck by the end, not only does it play into the fear of flying I mentioned at the beginning of this article, but it also evokes an international trauma so extreme we’re still dealing with the ramifications of it. Nearly 15 years later, American policy, both domestic and foreign, is still recuperating from 9/11, and so are many, many people. While most the films on this list are inconsiderate to your fellow travelers, I would say this is the only one that’s genuinely cruel. There is no film that can really compare in terms of being completely unacceptable to watch on a flight, but the closest would have to be 12 Years a Slave, which evokes a very different, but incredibly painful cultural legacy.

So there you have it folks, 9 great films you shouldn’t watch on a plane, some learned through painful first-hand experience. Sound off in the comments section about films you think shouldn’t be in the in-flight viewing options.