Today, we have yet another comedy screenplay floating around Hollywood whose pitch begins with “It’s The Hangover meets . . .”; this one has its eyes on Jack Nicholson to star. According to Vulture, screenwriter Dan Fogelman (Cars, Bolt) has scripted the tale of four baby boomer childhood friends who reunite decades later to witness the marriage of Billy, the lifelong bachelor role earmarked for Nicholson–I’ma go ahead and end the pitch with ” . . . meets Space Cowboys.” Fogelman has slapped the grammatically defiant title LASt VEGAS on the front page, though I’ll consider it a working title because neither I nor marquees are very fond of it.
After the jump, you’ll find a sneak peak at Fogelman’s script which gives a sense of why Nicholson was forwarded a draft.
The following is an excerpt of our introduction to the Nicholsonian character:
These eyes have a spark in them. They belong to BILLY GERSON (70’s), every bit the mischievous imp he was as a young boy, a stark contrast to the others.
CHYRON: MALIBU, CA.
Billy speaks into a MIC, roasting someone, mid-story …
. . . and you remember what I said, Ronnie? I said: “Ronnie, I know you’re down in the dumps. But as a fellow bachelor, let me assure you – you’ll bounce back. Because you may not be very smart, and you may not be very rich, but Pal: you sure are fucking ugly.”
LAUGHTER. We PAN to RONNIE who sits in . . .
A COFFIN. Dead. Oh, Billy is giving a eulogy.
I’ll admit I laughed, but that may be because that speech was delivered to my brain with Nicholson’s already stamped all over it. Vulture throws out the names of some other early bird specialists who should expect a copy in the mail soon. There’s Morgan Freeman, Richard Jenkins, Gene Hackman–all good choices, to be sure. If I may, I’d ask that those involved consider Mad Men‘s John Slattery: the silver fox specializes in the one-liner and looks really dapper with a drink in his hand.
Oh, and get Bill Murray. Somehow.