Nothing says Halloween quite like a scary movie. You get the popcorn, turn out the lights, pop that movie in (or technically now you just click the button since everything is streaming nowadays), sit back, and relax as the horror takes you away. That is, unless the movie you choose to scare your pants off ends up falling flat and isn’t scary at all.

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Whether they were made with the intent of being cheesy or if they just didn’t hit the mark that was intended, some scary movies are just not scary at all. From killer clowns that look more ridiculous than scary - or violent produce - sometimes scary movies, while categorized as horror, are nothing but horrifically entertaining.

'Tucker & Dale vs. Evil' (2010)

tucker and dale0

A group of college kids head up to go camping while on break. As they encounter Tucker and Dale, the titular duo of the film, they are scared away by Dale’s awkward presence in trying to flirt with one of the women, and unintentionally having come across as dangerous. The rest of the movie unfolds in a manner worthy of a comedy, but with enough slasher and gore attributes to be a horror film.

While the movie is not a blatant attempt at classic horror, it is a valiant effort. It is clear that the movie is intended to be funny, and somewhat of a parody of this classic storyline found in many horror movies, and because of that, it is likely to give you a laugh, and maybe a slight jump. It just isn’t scary.

'Attack of the Killer Tomatoes' Franchise (1978-1991)

Attack Of The Killer Tomatoes

This film franchise is absolutely fascinating. This original Attack of the Killer Tomatoes (1978) was written as a parody, mocking all the cheap and cheesy horror films of the era. This story of tomatoes coming to life and terrorizing humanity was so outlandish, but so well received that it spawned several sequels.

The entire concept of tomatoes rising up against the world is so ridiculous that it just has to be seen to be believed. While there are a few moments throughout the series that might startle, generally speaking, this is not scary. And feel free to watch them out of order, there’s no need to Ketchup.

'April Fool's Day' (1986)

Deborah Foreman as Muffy/Buffy St. John in April Fool's Day
Image via Paramount

This is a film that actually has some frightening moments. Overall, however, it tends to be more hokey than scary. Similar to almost every other horror film, the story here is a group of college kids going on vacation when everyone begins getting murdered, one by one. Without giving anything away, while April Fool's Day tried real hard to provide scares, it did not live up to the challenge.

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Despite its best efforts, the scare tactics are too familiar and expected to deliver a genuine scare. The few elements of comedy that are thrown in throughout, as well, detract from what could have been a pretty solid scary movie. It is worth a watch, and isn’t something to give you nightmares.

'They Live' (1988)

man takes sunglasses off

Imagine a world where putting on a pair of sunglasses reveals the true nature of everything and everyone around you. In They Live, that is exactly what happens. An unnamed character obtains a pair of special sunglasses that, when put on, reveal the truth of the world around him, including aliens and manipulation through government and media.

Sounds like The Matrix and Free Guy must have been at least somewhat inspired by They Live. With the slight intention of horror, the sheer absurdity of the storyline makes it so that this horror film falls somewhat dull for viewers. While it is still entertaining, it doesn’t quite fright.

'The Toxic Avenger' Franchise (1984, 2022)

The Toxic Avenger flexing with a mop
Image via Troma Entertainment

Melvin Junko was a janitor at a health club. He was picked on and teased mercilessly. During one instance of being harassed, he is chased out the second story window of the health club and falls into a vat of toxic waste, erupts in flames, and is then transformed because of the chemicals into a mutant.

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The Toxic Avenger is a guilty pleasure for many, which is likely why it has been selected to be rebooted for an upcoming film starring Peter Dinklage. This scary movie is bound to leave you wondering if there was actually anything genuinely scary about it, other than the fact that Marisa Tomei was cut out as an extra in the locker room.

'The Blob' (1988)

screaming man covered in a thick pink goo

While there are several versions of The Blob, this particular discussion refers to the 1988 version because the original from 1958 is not a fair comparison, as nothing from back then is scary. This 1988 version is not terrifying either though, so maybe that is a bad argument. The film focuses on an acidic organism that crashes to earth on a military satellite and dissolves anything and everything in its path. It does, however, showcase a familiar face from the SAW franchise with Shawnee Smith.

The concept is promising, but the delivery is disappointing. The idea of a blob that devours everything in its path as it continually grows has all the makings of a wildly horrific movie. It was, along with its predecessors, before their time. If this was something that was made today, it would be the perfect film. It is definitely worth watching and enjoying, especially if you don’t want to be scared.

'Death Becomes Her' (1992)

Goldie Hawn, Bruce Willis, and Meryl Streep in a poster for Death Becomes Her.
Image via Universal

In one of Bruce Willis’ greatest roles ever, Death Becomes Her is an incredible example of how the actor often makes the movie. Quite frankly, this horror film is not scary. It has a few moments that might be a bit frightening, but for the most part, this is just a quality classic comedic fright film about a man in a very strange love triangle with two somewhat-zombified women.

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There is music. There is dancing. There is love. There is betrayal. There is revenge. There is murder. Then there is regeneration. This frighteningly entertaining movie really takes you on a wild rollercoaster ride of laughter, romance, and horror all within an hour and a half.

'Zombieland' (2009)

Jesse Eisenberg, Emma Stone, Abigail Breslin, and Woody Harrelson in Zombieland
Image via Sony Pictures

A typical zombie apocalypse movie with four characters holding the weight of the entire film. This film brings all the delightful frights of zombies to the table along with an excellent dose of humor to lighten the wild antics seen throughout. Not to mention some amazingly timed celebrity cameos as well.

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With a dynamite cast of Jesse Eisenberg, Woody Harrelson, Emma Stone, and Abigail Breslin, Zombieland will have you laughing, crying, giggling at the silliness, and maybe even jumping a time or two at a few choice moments that scare a little. This is a quality scary film from start to finish, it won't make you wet your pants, and it won’t leave you feeling too beat up.

'Shocker' (1989)

Mitch Pileggi strapped to an electric chair in Shocker
Image Via Universal

Long before Peter Berg was making incredible films from behind the camera, he starred in this wildly un-scary horror film, The Shocker. In this film, Berg stars as a football star with a strange connection to the serial killer. During his execution, and having made a deal with the devil, the serial killer becomes pure electricity and possesses various individuals to continue his murdering streak.

So many outlandish scenes and unbelievable narrative twists, this film hardly qualifies as anything scary at all. In theory, this could be an amazing horror film, but with the tired storyline along with the less than stellar special effects, this movie falls pretty flat.

'Killer Klowns from Outer Space' (1988)

Killer Klowns From Outer Space

This is, hands down, the most ridiculous horror movie ever made. Not only is it that, but it also just might be the most ridiculous movie, of any genre, ever made. Period. This film about evil aliens who happen to look like clowns, looking to harvest humans from a small town for food is beyond silly and while it attempts to, it doesn’t even touch a moment of being scary.

It is interesting that this film was meant as a horror film as it does not come across that way through any of the film. While individuals who have coulrophobia (fear of clowns) will be absolutely terrified by this film, as it does exhibit some ghoulish evil clowns, the general audience of this film is more likely to laugh than to feel scared in any way.

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