No actor was bigger in the 1980s than Arnold Schwarzenegger. The former Mr. Olympia was a menacing presence, whether it be as the bad guy in The Terminator or the cool hero in Commando and Predator. Toward the end of the decade, however, he tried something new with 1988's Twins, Ivan Reitman's hilarious buddy comedy that saw Arnold being the long-lost twin brother of his exact physical opposite, Danny DeVito.
The success of Twins showed that Schwarzenegger could be more than the action hero: he could make audiences laugh, too! With that in mind, just two years later, Schwarzenegger tried his hand at another comedy with Reitman. Here, he'd get to still be the badass gun-toting cop, but in a great twist of a premise: his character would go undercover as a kindergarten teacher. The fish-out-of-water scenario of a cool cop who can handle anything except for little kids was a clever setup for Hollywood's biggest star. In 1990, with Kindergarten Cop, Schwarzenegger starred in a film where he made fun of his image, all while being surrounded by the most hilarious five-year-olds.
'Kindergarten Cop' Is Arnold Schwarzenegger's Favorite Project
Arnold Schwarzenegger might have been a huge name in the '80s, but it started to reach a point where every movie felt like he was playing the same character in a different plot. In 2015, the former Governor of California told James Corden on The Late Late Show about his frustrations in taking the same kind of roles over and over. “The studios made all this money from the action movies. They said, ‘Why would we go and change the mold? We’re making a lot of money with you. We keep giving you action scripts.'" Then Schwarzenegger had a meeting with director Ivan Reitman, the man behind Meatballs, Stripes, and Ghostbusters. It was a meeting that would change his career and life. “Then, when I finally met Ivan Reitman and when we did Twins, and then we did Kindergarten Cop, I was in heaven."
Twins was one of the most successful films of 1988, making nearly $112 million worldwide on a $15 million budget. Starring in a comedy didn't hurt his action cred either, as his next film after Twins was one of his best: Total Recall. The profit from Twins and how much fun he had making the film meant working with Ivan Reitman again was inevitable. After Total Recall, Schwarzenegger returned to comedy with 1990's Kindergarten Cop. When James Corden asked him what his favorite film project was, Schwarzenegger said, “I think Kindergarten Cop. I think one of the comedies, because for so many years, I tried to get into comedy, and I couldn’t.”
Schwarzenegger's Persona Is Used as a Joke in 'Kindergarten Cop'
The plot of 1990's Kindergarten Cop finds Schwarzenegger as a Los Angeles detective named John Kimble. Kimble is trying to convict a drug dealer and murderer named Cullen Crisp (Richard Tyson), but he needs the testimony of Crisp's ex-wife, Joyce (Penelope Ann Miller), who has gone into hiding. Kimble, and another detective, Phoebe O'Hara (Pamela Reed), go undercover at an elementary school in an effort to locate Joyce and her young son, Dominic (Christian and Joseph Cousins). It's Phoebe's job to be an undercover teacher, but when she gets ill, John Kimble is forced to take her place. He might be a stellar detective, but he knows not only nothing about teaching, and even children confound him. He locates Joyce and Dominic at the school, and then must protect them when Cullen gets out and comes looking for them.
The plot is your standard paint-by-numbers action routine. Cullen Crisp is your run-of-the-mill bad guy. But that's not what made the film work so well though. It's the absurdity of Arnold Schwarzenegger as a kindergarten teacher in over his head that audiences came for. Kimble looks like a nervous wreck standing in the hall as he's about to be introduced to the class. He shifts his tie and breathes heavily, and then, as he walks into the classroom, he stares at the kids sitting on the floor as if they're aliens who could attack him at any second. Schwarzenegger is known for seldom showing fear, but now he's freaking out...over five-year-olds. When the kids laugh innocently at him sitting on a piano, he mocks their laughter and tells them to be quiet. Kimble has zero idea how to handle them other than being his strong-cop self. He doesn't smile. He doesn't try to get down on their level. When little Miko Hughes famously delivers the line, "Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina," Kimble can only dryly say, "Thanks for the tip."
Arnold Schwarzenegger Let Kids Steal the Show in 'Kindergarten Cop'
Kindergarten Cop could've stayed that way, with Schwarzenegger playing a very Schwarzenegger-like character who doesn't know what to do with pint-sized humans. There's a lot of humor to be found there, such as the horror found on his face when he sees the class tearing their room apart in a fit of chaos. He has no idea how to handle it, so Kimble screams "Shut up!" at the top of his lungs. He says it over and over, nearly hyperventilating. When the kids cry, Kimble makes a break for it, running out of the school where he finds a way to connect with them: a ferret. When he introduces it to the class, they calm down. "Good, now we're having fun," Kimble says in a way that shows he's not having any fun at all. After school, he collapses, telling Phoebe, "They're horrible."
Kimble has learned how to get down to their level though, and now Arnold can simply be silly and move past his tough cop persona, even if he yells at a kid to "Stop it!" for eating other kid's lunches. The film becomes not about Schwarzenegger alone but his interactions with the kids and how silly he is reacting to them. In fact, they are even funnier than he is, leaving the actor constantly trying to catch up. Their brutal honesty creates some of the best moments, like Miko's, or when another kid tells Kimble he might have a brain tumor. "It's not a tumor," Kimble says, annoyed. Kimble doesn't act like a kid. It's not that type of movie. But he finds a way to connect with them by being a drill Sergeant in what he calls "Police School." He lectures the youngsters, telling them, "You're not going to have your mommies here behind you anymore to wipe your little tushies. Oh no, it's time now to turn this mush into muscles."
Kimble is stern, using a whistle to get the kids to follow orders. And it works. The kids fall in line and enjoy it. All they've been missing is for someone to talk to them like real people and not coddle them. Kimble is smiling, ecstatic that his plan worked. He's no longer scared of them and no longer angry. The giant detective and the children have come to an understanding. As the kids take to him, Kimble does become more childlike without going overboard. It's silly to watch Arnold Schwarzenegger bouncing on a teeter-totter or using a hula-hoop but also believable because the characters did the work to get there.
Yeah, at the end Schwarzenegger goes into his usual badass mode, saving Dominic and killing his bad guy father, but it's when he's invested in the comedy, both playing the type and against type at the same time that we remember. It's him not knowing what to do with kids and being scared of them while they make the most hilarious comments that works best. In the end, Kimble falls for Dominic's mom and quits as a cop to become a teacher full-time, leaving audiences with the ultimate feel-good ending. It's a sappy finale, sure, but again, it's believable, because the action star worked for it. He spent the first half of the film making fun of his image, so he could spend the second half building it up into something transformed.
Just like Twins didn't hurt his action star image, neither did Kindergarten Cop. His follow-up the next year after playing an overwhelmed school teacher was Schwarzenegger's biggest and best film ever: Terminator 2: Judgment Day. In that film, Schwarzenegger battles a near-indestructible Terminator made out of liquid metal without flinching or showing an ounce of fear. You wonder if a robot in a leather jacket would have the same reaction if he was facing not an assassin from the future but a five-year-old girl telling him that she has to go to the bathroom.