The Talking Baby Yoda Plush Is an Unholy Abomination and You Can Pre-Order It Right Now

     December 12, 2019

Is everyone familiar with W.W. Jacobs‘ short horror tale The Monkey’s Paw? In which a married couple comes into possession of a mummified trinket that grants wishes, but each request comes at an unspeakable price? Good, because we’re living it. After a few weeks of dunking on Disney for not having “Baby Yoda” merch on deck after the premiere of The Mandalorian, the company has responded, first with these bargain Etsy knockoffs, and now with a “talking” Baby Yoda plush from Hasbro that appears to mock both God and science with its uncanny cries. This thing could anchor a Conjuring sequel. This plush does not respond to pleas for mercy, like a Terminator with lil pointy ears. Pre-order information is right here.

To be absolutely clear, the plush doesn’t “talk”, because that would be spoiling the reveal in The Mandalorian finale that the character is voiced by Danny Devito. Instead, it mostly just makes the baby noises that characters hear from dark corners in horror movies set in long-abandoned orphanages. Here’s a sample:

And here is the toy’s official description, via Hasbro:

“Now you can become his protector with this cuddly plush toy … dressed in the cutest little robe ever seen this side of Mos Eisley. Posable arms let kids pretend the Force is within their reach, while a squeeze of the toy’s soft plush body activates character sounds.”

For more on The Mandalorian, here’s the latest in-depth entry in our weekly guide, plus our conversations with the cast of The Rise of Skywalker about the little green guy.