Prepare for your mind to absolutely boggle because the next sentence is gonna throw you for a loop. On Friday, True Detective creator Nic Pizzolatto unveiled a pitch for a new Batman comics storyline where he ends up killing God and Watchmen creator Damon Lindelof vehemently co-signed the idea. So, yeah, this is a thing that is happening now.
It all kicked off when Pizzolatto hopped on Instagram to share a lengthy caption and photo set where he essentially unveils his complete thoughts about Batman — “the only piece of geek culture I have an affinity for” — and pitches a DC Comics story he’d want to write involving the Caped Crusader. As noted in the photo set’s caption, the photos Pizzolatto shared began as responses to a fan question (he didn’t reveal what the initial question was) and, as you can see it the photos, quickly evolved into the True Detective creator waxing poetic about how he sees the character of Batman and how he’d depict the character if he had the chance to whip up a new story. Pizzolatto began with,
“Batman’s no-kill policy is valid and should always remain. BUT the police does not exist because ‘killing makes me as bad as them’ or some kindergarten bullshit. That never held any water at all. Batman’s no-kill policy exists BECAUSE BATMAN’S REAL AND ETERNAL ENEMY IS DEATH. DEATH is his real enemy.”
Pizzolatto then goes on to reject every characterization of Batman in both the comics and in movies, writing,
“Batman is not some wounded boy, some man-child who can’t get over his parents’ death. He’s not an arrested child. He’s not the Phantom of the Opera. He’s not broken in any way. He’s the opposite. Batman is not the story of a traumatized rich boy who works out his catharsis on the mentally ill. Batman is the story of how one human Saint turned a life-defining tragedy into the pinnacle of human achievement and the single greatest humanitarian crusade the world have ever known.”
But wait! There’s more.
Pizzolatto then turns his eye to this whole God business. He writes, “Batman’s superpower is not money. Batman’s superpower is that he thinks of everything. And he has the strongest will of the species. If he had some time to strategize, Batman could credibly defeat God.”
It’s at this point I feel compelled to interject. I have a few big questions as to why Pizzolatto believes Batman could credibly defeat God. Those questions include (but are not limited to): Why does Batman need to defeat God? Where is Batman’s beef with God? How exactly does a being of flesh and blood defeat an omniscient sky presence? And, most pressing of all, how is Batman gonna sell whatever plan he has to defeat God to the masses? Because killing God without the explicit consent of the public feels like a big no-no.
Lindelof, Pizzolatto’s unofficial HBO brother-in-arms, seemed to co-sign the True Detective creator’s pitch in his own Instagram post. The Watchmen creator shared a photo of Pizzolatto’s comment about Batman killing God to his Instagram, writing excitedly, “Guys, Nic Pizzolatto wants to write a movie where Batman fights God AND PLEASE SOMEONE START A PETITION. #TimeIsABatCircle.”
Yes, friends, the real lesson here is that time is a
flat bat circle and I guess I now want to see Pizzolatto’s Batman story come to life?! Stranger things have happened.