Writing a “bad” movie song is its own special art form. You have to make the audience understand that, within the context of the film, they’re listening to something “bad”, but you can’t just bash two trash cans together and call it a day. The song still has to be good, just in a recognizably “bad” way. It’s complicated. I’m doing a terrible job describing it. The process is just one of those unexplainable mysteries we’ll never solve, along with “why did nobody see Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping?” and “why’d you come around me with an ass like that?”
To celebrate the arrival this week of Netflix’s Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga, we’ve decided to look back on the best of the bad that are actually good. Here are the unbendable criteria we applied to each entry: First, the song must be performed in the actual movie. So, for example, Will Smith’s “Wild Wild West”, a flawless work of art that should play on an endless loop in all major history museums, does not count. Second, and most importantly, the song must be understood to be a “bad” song in context. Many people might immediately think of, say, “Scotty Doesn’t Know” from EuroTrip or perhaps the title track of That Thing You Do! but those are bops both in and out of the movie. Keep in mind, these are hard and fast rules that cannot be debated, except for the few times I completely ignored them below.
So, with that in mind, here are the 10 best “bad” movie songs that actually rip.