All the ‘Eurovision’ Songs Ranked, Because We Are in Double Trouble Tonight

     July 3, 2020

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Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga, the Will Ferrell and Rachel McAdams-starring Netflix film that’s sweeping the nation, is based on a genuine, bonafide musical competition. The Eurovision Song Contest has been a mainstay of European culture since 1956. During each competition, countries submit just one song to represent their “best song of the year,” competing against other countries in lavish, delightful, and usually very silly performances. A jury comprised of representatives from all of these countries assign each song a series of points (they’re not allowed to vote for their own country), yielding a winner that is, as “technically” and “objectively” as possible, the best song in the world. The winner’s country gets a bunch of pride and hosts the competition next year.

It’s Europe’s equivalent of the Super Bowl and Academy Awards combined. It’s a big, honkin’ deal. As such, a musical comedy made about the subject needed to get its ducks in a row and craft some banging tunes that deserve the Eurovision mantle.

Luckily for all of us, David Dobkin‘s Eurovision is packed with wonderful, earnestly catchy, professional-quality original songs. The songwriting teams and vocalists gathered for the film have put in their work and thensome (with many of them written and performed by actual Eurovision competitors and winners), resulting in a soundtrack that will stand the test of time even in its dated-on-purpose silliness. But which of these songs stands above the rest?

It’s time to have our own mini-Eurovision. I’ve pitted all original tunes from Eurovision against each other (disqualifying songs like the cover of “Happy,” the disco-post-punk of Anteros’ “Fool Moon,” the beyond beautiful jazz waltz of Salvador Sobral’s “Amar pelos Dois,” and the unbridled medley pleasures of the “Song-A-Long”), and I have yielded a champion.

Here, now, are all of the original songs from Eurovision, ranked. For more from this magical world, here’s our own Jeff Sneider’s ranking of the best Will Ferrell movies.

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