Here we are, in 2022. We live in an unprecedented age of discovery and creation: smart phones, 4K televisions, virtual assistants like Siri, electric cars. All things that would have made our forefathers' heads explode. But, dammit, we were promised more! Where are the flying cars of The Jetsons? The Star Trek transporters? Soylent Green? Actually, scratch that last one. But just think of the amazing things we’ve seen on screen, and shake your fist in the general direction of science!
Transporter in the Star Trek Franchise
The transporter has been an integral part of the Star Trek universe since the original series debut in 1966. Forget travel miles, gas stations, and flight delays: the transporter took any object and/or living organism from a Federation ship to anywhere within a 40,000-kilometer radius — so if you were hoping to avoid your mother-in-law, opt for 40,001-kilometers away.
Flying cars in The Jetsons (1962-1963)
In fairness, George Jetson was just born this year, so the advent of the flying car may simply not be here yet. Just one thing, though. People haven't even mastered driving cars on the ground, with fender benders a continual annoyance that has yet to be rectified. Can you imagine, then, adding a third dimension to the path of a car? And what would you call 'road rage'? Sky rage? Lower atmosphere rage? Nevertheless, it would still be pretty sweet.
The PASIV Device in Inception (2010)
Inception introduced us to the PASIV Device, or the Portable Automated Somnacin IntraVenous Device. The PASIV is used to administer Somnacin, the drug that allows for dream sharing, where a dreamer, nothing but a dreamer (you're welcome, Supertramp fans), can bring one or more people into their dream world via the device.
Hoverboard in Back to the Future II (1989)
The Mattel toy that every kid had on their Christmas wish list in 1989. The hoverboard looked amazing, with Marty McFly (Michael J. Fox) making it look easy, and it was real! Actually, it wasn't. Director Robert Zemeckis let it slip on a behind-the-scenes documentary that hoverboards had been around for years, but parental groups prevented its release, which was completely untrue. But gullible, hopeful kids grabbed onto it. There's been attempts: a mechanical engineering student created one that can only hover aboard steel (and catch on fire), and Lexus, whose prototype requires -197 °C liquid nitrogen. So while unlikely, we've got people on it!
Sonic Screwdriver in Doctor Who (Various)
The sonic screwdriver (or sonic lipstick, probe, blaster, etc.) is a multifunctional tool first used in the 1968 Doctor Who episode "Fury from the Deep" by the Second Doctor (Patrick Troughton). Multifunctional is a gross understatement. It has been used to, in no particular order, unlock or lock a door, amplifying sound-waves, hacking an ATM, turn ordinary eyeglasses into sunglasses, light candles, operating computers of human or alien origin, downloading a person's consciousness to a computer, and, oddly enough, tightening and loosening screws. And even more. This one is a long shot, but maybe Craftsman is working on it?
The Neuralyzer in the Men in Black Franchise
The neuralyzer, an electro biomechanical neural transmitting zero synapse repositioner (we'll stick with "neuralyzer"), would be so, so handy, wouldn't it? The neuralyzer is a unique device used by the MiB, and it is an essential part of their work. How does it work? Simple. Say you see an alien walking across your front lawn. You're stoked to tell everyone you know, but the MiB show up, hold up a stick, and it flashes. You freeze, the MiB agents tell you some cockamamie story about how you saw a duck, you wake up, and it's, "What alien? It was a duck." Remove the memory, replace the memory with something else. Just think of it... "Don't you remember, honey? I took you to Chez Richington's for our anniversary" or "You were wrong, I was the one that was right." Fun fact: Scientists have created one that erases memories from mice!
Holodecks in Star Trek: The Next Generation (1987-1994)
Frequently used as a plot device in Star Trek: TNG, the holodeck concept was actually introduced in the 1974 Star Trek: The Animated Series episode "The Practical Joker", more than enough time to be up and running by now. The holodeck creates a realistic 3D simulation of a setting in which one can interact with objects and characters, allowing, say, Worf (Michael Dorn) to visit Spongebob Squarepants (Tom Kenny) in Bikini Bottom. The holodeck technically exists as Virtual Reality devices, but until your eyes are uncovered and you don't run into walls, we'll just bide our time.
KITT in the Knight Rider Franchise
First, it's a 1982 Pontiac Firebird Trans Am. Secondly, it talks. Thirdly, it's smarter than most people you know (not you, dear reader). Fourthly, it's got that dead awesome red light that goes back and forth. Fifthly, it drives itself. Who doesn't want a KITT (William Daniels) of their very own? If we aren't getting flying cars anytime soon, we should at least be able to take a nap in the back seat while the car does the work. In theory, a KITT could be put together today.
Laser Guns (Various)
Star Trek phasers. Star Wars blasters. BraveStarr's "Neutra-laser" pistol. All the same thing, a gun that shoots a deadly ray of light instead of a bullet. Lasers already exist, but what are we using them for? Correcting eyesight. Reading bar codes. Playing DVDs. Surgeries. What a waste when we could be striking down our enemies with a well aimed beam of death. Sigh.
Jaegers in Pacific Rim (2013)
You've likely heard the story: large monster, Kaiju, threatened humanity, so humans created huge, fighting robots called Jaegers to stop them. Jaegers are controlled by two pilots, neurologically linked to each other and to the robot, creating one mind that works together. To paraphrase Dorothy (Renee Zellweger) from Jerry Maguire: "You had me at huge, fighting robots." Again, why are we wasting time with robots that vacuum when we could be piloting big-arse bots, consistently winning the Giant Bolt Award on BattleBots?
What-If Machine in Futurama (1999-2003)
Invented by Hubert J. Farnsworth (Billy West), the What-If Machine is a device that looks like a television but can predict the outcome of any "what-if?" question. But only three times a year. Still, to know the outcome of a decision, or action, would be undeniably helpful. Say... you don't suppose Marvel Studios already has one, formulating the storylines of the What If...? series? Damn you, Kevin Feige, share it with the world now!
Lightsabers the Star Wars Franchise
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Every kid from the 1970s up had a lightsaber. It may have been a cardboard roll, a broom handle, or Grandma's cane, but it didn't matter. Anything could be a lightsaber, and in the absence of a real one, we're stuck with what we've got. Sure, you can get a "lightsaber" from Toys R' Us, with the telescoping blade up to the realistic replicas costing hundreds of dollars, but it isn't the same. Until one can slice, dice, and make Julienne fries with a red, green, blue or Mace Windu (Samuel L. Jackson) purple blade of light, it's just a bitter reminder of something else that is denying us revenge on our enemies.