Seven years since the release of its previous installment, the fan favorite found footage horror anthology series V/H/S returned on October 6th with V/H/S/94, its forth main-series entry, exclusively on the horror streaming service Shudder. After the disappointing third film in the series, 2014’s V/H/S: Viral, a film The AV Club called “slapdash and ineffectual," many like myself were excited to know a new entry was coming - one that hopefully hued closer to the quality of the first two films. So, with V/H/S/94’s horror unleashed, I’m popping its freshly unearthed tape into the VCR and ranking it on how much I enjoyed each segment from least to most. From story, to effects and gore, to how well they fit the “1990s” theme, to what each had to say, this new anthology packs its magnetic reels full, so let’s take a look… if you dare (click here for ominous thunder clap).

5. "Holy Hell" - Directed by Jennifer Reeder

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Trust me, folks, when it comes to a good story of cops getting their comeuppance, I’m buying front row tickets. However, even its gesturing towards retributive justice doesn’t save "Holy Hell," the wrap-around narrative device for the anthology, from being a mostly dull and poorly executed story, rendering it the least of its cohorts. Following a SWAT team as they raid what they believe to be a drug lab, things quickly turn darker, as they find an expansive facility housing what seems to be a videotape-focused cult. This premise, that the “tapes” the audience watches are coming from the screens of the compound, feels clumsier than the simple and effectively unnerving framing devices of the first two V/H/S films, which gave a motivated reason for the tapes being viewed. If the framing device of a police investigation for the wrap-around was to be used, why not make it an investigation of seized evidence, similar to the private investigator framing of V/H/S/2, rather than the strange notion that a SWAT team has the time to watch several 15–25-minute videos during their raid.

Also, why is there an unarmed, seemingly civilian cameraman present on a SWAT raid? Unless I missed something, the justification for the camera filming the raid is never given. Even a short throwaway line about the footage being “for one of those police footage shows” would have provided satisfying reasoning, while also grounding the narrative in the 1990s, as shows like Cops rose to popularity in the mid 90s. The ending of this short, and in turn the ending of V/H/S/94 feels rushed, unclear, and unsatisfying. I respect the energy of wanting to end your movie with a cop being tortured and then playing a song by the band Millions of Dead Cops over the credits, but execution matters. With irritating acting, sloppy construction, and an ending that falls flat, the framing device for this film is by far its weakest link.

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4. "Terror" - Directed by Ryan Prows

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Like "Holly Hell," I wanted to like "Terror," but ultimately found it lacking. Its got a great premise: a bunch of right-wing militia idiots who plan to commit violence get a big ‘ole plate of just desserts when their secret weapon (a vampire) gets loose. However, this short simply falls flat by feeling too on-the-nose with its goal, while not committing fully to embracing being ridiculous, cathartic schlock. Either you attempt to make these militia guys compelling, competent villains, making their demise all the more satisfying, or you go all in on them being bozos, upping the ridiculousness to 100, the suspension of disbelief to 0, and the gory kills to maximum. What we get feels like it lands in the no-mans-land of mediocrity, a short more focused on its point than its presentation, resulting in it feeling dull. For the sake of posterity, I’m not saying it’s bad because it offends me politically - if anything it’s completely in line with my tastes- but there’s something to be said about art that just feels ham-fisted in what it’s trying to say. "Terror" needed to either accept its lack of subtly and go all-in on spectacle, or reign itself in for a more nuanced look, but in the end did neither and is the worse for it.

3. "The Empty Wake" - Directed by Simon Barrett

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Writer/director Simon Barrett (You’re Next and The Guest) is a tested veteran of the V/H/S series at this point, having contributed to shorts in the first two series entries, so it’s no surprise he turns in a solidly executed contribution to this installment as well. As with much of his work, Barrett’s short, "The Empty Wake," has a very basic, straightforward premise, but excels in its nuanced, skilled execution. As continually worsening weather rages outside, a young woman is left in charge of the late-night wake being held at the funeral home in which she works. Tasked with, at the client’s request, filming the entire affair, she becomes increasingly terrorized by an unexpected presence at the wake, which no one has shown up for.

I would assume that many, like myself, knew exactly where this short was going within the first minute or two. While a very boilerplate “corpse that isn’t dead” story, as used in films like The Autopsy of Jane Doe, the short excels in Barrett’s ability to create atmosphere and tension, aided in part by its likable lead and clearly defined location of the funeral parlor. Speaking of space, "The Empty Wake" also excels at creating a genuine 90s feel thanks to the chintzy funeral home décor, our lead having trouble learning to change the VHS camera tapes, or her reliance on the attached camera flashlight when the power goes out. While very basic in construction, "The Empty Wake" fits comfortably in the middle of V/H/S/94 thanks to the classic creepy feeling it creates.

2. "The Subject" - Directed by Timo Tjahjanto

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Timo Tjahjanto, co-director of what many consider to be the V/H/S series’ best short, V/H/S/2’s intense, gory, and bombastic "Safe Haven," is back with another wild, imaginative, visceral contribution. "The Subject" is a classic mad-scientist tale meets high-octane action, with a deranged but genius doctor attempting to create cyborgs out of victims he’s kidnapped. But, when the police get involved, everything escalates into insanity, while one of the doctor’s helpless and transmogrified victims fights to stay alive.

"The Subject" delights in its surprises and developments, as it descends into a fervor of madness and action. Without giving too much away, let’s just say this short is sure to please fans of everything from gross out body horror, to grungy sci-fi tech, to fans of first-person-shooters. My only complaint with this fun rollercoaster of a short, besides some distracting fake muzzle flashes, is that it doesn’t feel particularly grounded in the theme of being 90s based. However, trying to ground or reign in "The Subject" in any way seems almost impossible, and, in the end, we’re probably much better because of it.

1. "Storm Drain" - Directed by Chloe Okuno

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This short is what this series is about: a fun, fantastical horror story, rooted in the found footage aesthetic, that not only has something to say, but says it in an entertaining way. From newcomer director Chloe Okuno, "Storm Drain" takes the viewer along as a determined TV news reporter and her schluby cameraman try and make the most of their puff piece assignment on the city’s supposed “rat-man” creature that lives in the sewers. As the camera films and our duo descends into the subterrain tunnels, they end up capturing a lot more than b-roll.

"Storm Drain" captures the 90s aesthetic and theme the best out of 94’s shorts, playing with the tropes of TV news perfectly. Blended in with the look of the period, the short captures an essence of the 90s: its manufactured veneer of stability - an act to mask the rising turmoil. This conflict reverberates in the themes of "Storm Drain" as the “have-nots” make their move against those in power. But, to cast this short as a heady piece of socio-political rumination would be inaccurate, as "Storm Drain" revels in its balance of themes, horror, and comedy, with gore that both terrifies and delights. Along with leads that are likable, endearing you to their plight, and pay-offs that are wholly satisfying in all their ridiculous glory, this short proves Chloe Okuno as an artist to watch and serves the V/H/S series admirably.

V/H/S/94 is by no means perfect or precise, but that’s never what this series was about. If the V/H/S films are anything, they’re grounds for experimentation, opportunities for the up-and-coming to get their shot, and a chance to tell horror stories that might not be told elsewhere, and that’s what this film does. While its 90s theme feels somewhat loose and undefined overall, the film accomplishes the goal of providing horror shorts, some better than others, that, overall, entertain and have fun with the found footage style. I’m glad to have the series back, both for what it provides to the horror filmmaking landscape, and for the surprises, monsters, and stories it shares with us.

Bonus short: "The Veggie Masher"

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Are you ready for the best fake commercial since Mandy’s “Cheddar Goblin?" Then look no further than Steven Kostanski’s (The Void, Psycho Goreman) "The Veggie Masher!" Woven seamlessly into the faux-news broadcast of "Storm Drain," this advertisement will have you asking yourself “why have I been eating my vegetables non-mashed all my life?” and shouting, “I’d gladly sell my first-born child for such an amazing product!” Never again will your vegetables have a rigid texture when entering your mouth after seeing this amazing piece of marketing thaumaturgy. With a gift as wonderful and amazing as "The Veggie Masher" in it, V/H/S/94 isn’t a horror movie: it’s the “feel-good-movie” of the year!

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