Picture, just for a moment, a world where the upcoming Cats movie looks normal. A world where respected director Tom Hooper took the respected Broadway musical by Andrew Lloyd Webber and made a completely respectable adaptation. Perhaps by using similar prosthetics to the stage, perhaps with a "stripped down" aesthetic, perhaps fully animated. Seems nice, right? Instead, we live in "reality," and in "reality," the Cats movie looks utterly insane and star Jason Derulo has to talk about how they airbrushed his penis out of the final product and none of this is a typo!

Appearing on Andy Cohen's SiriusXM show Radio Andy, Derulo, an R&B star whose 2015 album Everything Is 4 is a slept on classic, got into the nitty-gritty about his CGI-addled cat's appendage -- or lack thereof. Cohen, pointing out that Derulo performed his scenes wearing tight tights, asked politely how the filmmakers dealt with it. Derulo responded bluntly, saying they "CGI'd the dick out." Mr. Cohen, who has made a living out of listening to celebrities share strange stories, was shook. "You think that they airbrushed your penis out of the Cats --" he began to ask. Derulo interrupted with cold, hard math: "125 percent. I could see it in the trailer, for sure." Although later, he lowered his estimate down to 120 percent when asked to further clarify, so, like, get your dickless story straight, Derulo!

Apparently, while shooting, Derulo and his co-stars were very aware of how his "package" was looking: "Rebel Wilson was talking about on a show we were on. She was like... 'I was around that for four months, I know exactly..." And buster -- you better believe the "that" refers to, as Derulo put it, his "anaconda." While Derulo ultimately asserts the CGI was done to "make it as cat-like as possible," he also things it could've been a new spin on Rum Tum Tugger. I mean, if Watchmen is hanging freaky CG dong, why not Cats, too? How is this reality?!

Cats hisses into theatres, sans penis, December 20. Listen to the full interview with Derulo and Cohen below. For more on this very strange film, check out the wild, wild trailer, and then the director and producers' response to all the wild, wild backlash.