In the mid-late 1980s, the G.I. Joes were the finest cartoon role models the nation had to offer; they were good men, capable men. Even when they weren’t shielding the world from the chaos and destruction of Cobra Command, the Joes remained ever-vigilant, especially of our greatest non-petroleum resource: the children. Be the threat as ominous as a potential abduction or benign as a nosebleed, they were always on hand with utterly sound advice. Today, for the first time ever on PSA Sunday, we’re going Joe.
We open on a boy, stranded in the ocean. He can’t swim, but it’s okay, because just when he’s needed most, aquatic commando Torpedo rises from the depths. Not to save the drowning tyke, mind you, but to teach him how to save himself. Hit the jump for sink or swimming lessons, with a Real American Hero.
As you can see, with helpful instructions like “Keep cool!” and the slightly more complicated “Now, cup your hands downward and move them in a figure-8 motion!” the (remarkably composed) child quickly gains dominion over that which would destroy him. Knowing is, indeed, half the battle; and sometimes, the other half is not drowning before that knowledge can be imparted to you by a man who is clearly more than capable of towing a distressed swimmer to safety.
Of course, you may worry that you’ll forget the wisdom offered in this PSA the next time you fall off a cliff and into the ocean, but fret not. Torpedo is there, always…waiting, watching…but not rescuing (because then what would you learn?).
Speaking of the Joes, check out what they’re up to these days in this trailer for G.I. Joe 2: Retaliation. Don’t even act like watching that doesn’t put a big ‘ol smile on your face.