You know what I hate? Snarky reviewers that are more interested in trying to appear clever than doing an actual review. Those reviewers are also so prejudiced by the current breeze of opinion that they will trash a movie based on who the actors are dating or if their last movie was a bomb. That’s why I was looking forward to reviewing the DVD of Ghosts of Girlfriends Past. On the surface this movie looks like a winner. Likeable stars, Matthew McConaughey and Jennifer Garner, and a killer supporting cast of Michael Douglas, Emma Stone, Breckin Meyer, Lacey Chabert, Robert Forster and Anne Archer. Couple that with a great concept of reworking the classic Charles Dickens “A Christmas Carol”. How could you go wrong? Well you can. My review after the jump:
Ghosts of Girlfriends Past takes the Christmas Carol story into a modern tale of a man who has lost his moral compass and bangs every woman he can get. And with McConaughey’s “Scrooge” character of Connor Mead being a rich, famous, good looking photographer, that makes a whole hell of a lot of women that have been seduced and tossed away like garbage. Garner becomes Connor’s “Christmas” as his first love that got away. Michael Douglas is the “Jacob Marley” figure as the ghost of his favorite Uncle Wayne that comes back to warn him of the evil of his ways and tell him of impending 3 ghosts.
I can’t blame the actors with this movie falling apart because they all did their parts well. McConaughey was solid and fun as expected. Garner was a great mix of cute and smart also as expected. Michael Douglas was perfect as the slimy 70s ladies man. Emma Stone was funny as the first ghost that was the girl Connor lost his virginity to in high school. Breckin Meyer as Connor’s brother was solid and touching in his plea for understanding of his brother. Lacey Chabert did a good job as Breckin’s freaking out bride to be.
The movie was doing well until the second ghost came and it then slowly started circling the drain. Up to that point the movie had a good little story going and had developed some heart to it but I don’t know if the problem was the director, the producers or the studio but the movie just turned into a cookie cutter 90 to 100 minute, throw it out there piece of crap. It’s a bummer because, I know they weren’t trying to make “The Godfather” but as a fan of the Romantic Comedy this movie could have been a great little movie that puts a smile on your face like “Love Actually” or “Definitely, Maybe”.
The movie just ends up so bad. Especially the final scene in the credits rollout that for the life of me I CAN NOT understand how someone first thought up the arrow gag but how it was OK’d and that they actually spent probably a day shooting it. It’s is such stinking, steaming piece of crap scene that just is the cherry on top of what has at that point turned into a shit sundae.
Extras: Nothing, zilch, goose egg. That is unless you consider widescreen, full screen versions and the option of captioning to be extras.
To sum up on a scale of 1 to 4 stars, Ghosts of Girlfriends Past does not scare up more than 1 star.