Happy Anniversary, Glee! Today marks thirteen years since Glee’s series premiere on Fox. Thanks to the internet, in recent years, Glee has taken on a bit of a second life amongst folks who may or may not have been fans of the show during its original run. Yet, its recent attention hasn’t been for the same reason as its original success. These days what pops up are the most bizarre numbers that were performed on Glee. Out of context (and often in context,) these performances seem like something way too cringe-worthy and completely out there than would ever fly on TV among adults today.
Narrowing Glee’s most bizarre performances down isn't easy; these silly and cringe-worthy numbers are in good company. So, in celebration of the unlucky 13-year anniversary, here are thirteen wackiest Glee numbers that make us feel like we imagined this series entirely.
"The Thong Song" (Season 1, Episode 8)
Maybe the most classic amongst mock-able Glee performances is Matthew Morrison’s cover of Sisqó’s "Thong Song." Morrison plays Mr. Schuester, the teacher in charge of the series’ glee club, “New Directions”. Mr. Shue (as he’s lovingly called by the glee club members) dances around a fellow teacher and love interest, Emma Pillsbury, (Jayma Mays) while oozing with Matthew Morrison’s now-classic phony, contrived, and downright uncomfortable sexiness. Mays had her work cut out for her when the script called for her to feign an accepting, non-disgusted calm when she was being subjected to this dance.
"Let’s Have a Kiki/ Turkey Lurkey Time" (Season 4, Episode 8)
One of the best in a long line of bad Glee moments is the iconic "Let’s Have a Kiki/ Turkey Lurkey Time" mash-up. Here, a great mind behind the scenes at Glee chose to combine Scissor Sisters’ "Let’s Have a Kiki" with the lesser-known Thanksgiving song, "Turkey Lurkey Time" from the classic musical, Promises, Promises. If this pairing isn’t out of left field enough, Sarah Jessica Parker is also featured. The minds behind Glee knew what high schoolers who dream of heading to the big city post-graduation fantasize about: throwing a party in their enormous NYC apartment with none other than Carrie Bradshaw. And, so, the high school grads of Glee do exactly that. This performance is not just a fever dream, but a theater kid’s fever dream.
"Baby Got Back" (Season 4, Episode 11)
At Glee’s best, it was campy, self-aware, and musically pleasant. At its worst, it was something like the cast’s rendition of Sir Mix-a-Lot’s "Baby Got Back." The idea of this cast performing this song is an obvious recipe for disaster. Still, they managed to outdo themselves with this performance. They delivered an enthusiastic cover of Jonathan Coulton’s arrangement, a playfully slowed down and sung version. Whatever one might conjure up in their head when imagining a Glee version of "Baby Got Back," this TV moment is surely far, far more maddening.
"Gold Digger" (Season 1, Episode 2)
When Mercedez (Amber Riley) opens her mouth to lead the glee club into their ultimately inevitable rendition of Kanye West’s “Gold Digger,” her ability to sing the opening line in a way it's never been sung fools viewers into thinking that the performance will actually be good. When the rest of the group joins her, however, there is a palpable descent into madness reminiscent of an overconfident Kids Bop album as performed by deluded adults.
"Blurred Lines" (Season 5, Episode 5)
With the controversy surrounding "Blurred Lines" at the height of its popularity, it is almost beyond comprehension that Glee would attempt to cover it. Thankfully for our retrospective enjoyment, though, very little was off-limits for the folks behind Glee. And, so, Glee’s "Blurred Lines" cover was born. The song, itself, doesn’t feel too different from the original. Yet, the image of a high school teacher leading his students down the locker-flanked hallways while singing this, of all songs, is baffling. It should also be noted that in the context of the episode, this song is being performed in protest of a recently instituted ban against twerking at school. Surprising to no one, Mr. Schuester stands loudly and musically in opposition to such a ban. A musical number like this certainly wouldn’t fly on TV today, and it boggles the mind that it did as recently as 2013. Still, we can all be thankful for the restraint shown when they cut the rap from the original.
"When I Get You Alone" (Season 2, Episode 12)
The good news about this performance? Unsurprisingly, Darren Criss sings circles around Robin Thicke’s original. The bad news? Criss’s character, Blaine, brings his entire glee club to a Gap store to aggressively, intimidatingly back a Gap employee into the corner of the room in an attempt to seduce him. Certainly, wooing someone through song is a musical theatre staple. Someone inflicting a dance mob ambush on his stalking victim at his workplace with 10+ harmonizing accomplices, however, is not – and for good reason.
"Telephone" (Season 2, Episode 1)
Lea Michele and Jake Zyrus’s performance of ‘Telephone’ recently made the rounds on the internet for its bizarre delivery. During the number, Rachel Berry and Sunshine Corazon engage in a kind of angry musical combat in the school bathroom to the tune of "Telephone" by Lady Gaga. This strangely tense sing-off culminates in Sue Sylvester (Jane Lynch) barging into the bathroom and demanding that the feuding singers “shut up.” This marks the only moment on this list that the average viewer is likely to appreciate the presence of Sue Sylvester.
"Do They Know It's Christmas?" (Season 3, Episode 9)
If there are two things a holiday song should not be, it’s probably ‘profoundly upsetting’ and ‘in poor taste.’ "Do They Know It's Christmas?" is both of these things. So, of course, the glee club simply had to go to a homeless shelter and perform it for the adults and children there. This number is not funny, but in terms of cringe-worthy Glee performances, it’s at the top of the list in its own, unique way.
"Hair/Crazy In Love" (Season 1, Episode 11)
If you’re thinking that "Hair" from Hair the musical and "Crazy In Love" by Beyoncé sound like two peculiar choices for a classic Glee mash-up, your instincts are correct. This "Hair/Crazy In Love" combination makes for a truly cacophonous new song. "Hair" is slowed down and altered so much to fit with "Crazy In Love" that it’s almost unrecognizable. And, if that’s not enough, the glee club members sport long wigs and perform choreography that involves an obscene amount of hair flipping for the duration.
"The Fox" (Season 5, Episode 7)
When watching this particular performance, it’s clear, of course, that Glee was in on the joke of the song. Ordinarily, being a viewer laughing with the show, rather than at it, would lighten the blow of how mockable it is. And yet, Glee’s performance of Ylvis’s "The Fox" (aka What Does The Fox Say) manages to transcend this. Glee had an understandable responsibility and desire to ensure that the most popular songs of the time were on its soundtrack. For reasons that elude all of us and will continue to astound historians for the rest of time, "What Does The Fox Say" was one of 2013’s top hits, staying at #6 on the Billboard Hot 100 for three weeks. So, it's understandable that Glee felt the desire to include it – animal masks and all. Still, the show would have benefited from resisting the urge to cover this song. Or, at least, they could have avoided including puppetry in this particular number. Much of the internet and Lea Michele, herself, agree that this is the show’s worst moment.
"Lose My Breath" (Season 6, Episode 9)
This unhinged song and dance number is actually not performed by the glee club, but rather, by the episode’s titular child star. In this episode, the school’s superintendent (Christopher Cousins) makes a deal with Sue Sylvester that requires her to help his nephew (Josie Totah) prepare for the performance he plans to do at his upcoming Bar Mitzvah. What transpires is Totah performing Destiny’s Child’s "Lose My Breath" surrounded by adult backup dancers. The song that was selected for a child to sing is almost as perplexing as the child’s presence in this episode.
"Toxic" (Season 2, Episode 2)
"Toxic" is an apt name for the song at the core of a scene where a teacher performs in the most embarrassingly sexual way he can alongside his students at a school assembly. Mr. Schuester does it again in this number, crossing the line as a teacher in utterly peculiar ways, while still maintaining his innocence in the eyes of the show. Students in the audience begin shouting at the glee club and their teacher to take their clothes off during the performance. Sue pulls the fire alarm to end the madness. At the end of the episode, Mr. Shue says that the glee club won’t be doing any more Britney Spears songs, implying that the downward spiral of the assembly was anyone’s fault but his own. Of course, this didn't stop the show from performing the song again in Season 5.
"Super Bass" (Season 4, Episode 11)
Whenever Sue Sylvester gets her own singing moment, viewers are in for a hefty dose of confusion and strangeness. Her rendition of Nicki Minaj’s "Super Bass," however, is perhaps one of the great gems that wacky Glee performances have to offer. With Lynch awkwardly donning a white wig and giving cut-out word replacements that contradict the point of the verse, this performance is a perfect representation of how good it can be when Glee is so bad.